Ugh pink how come this happens. Why do these men go mess up on their family and then want to come back but in the mean time torture is... I just want him back. I'm teying so hard to stay focused on dbing and staying dark. We haven't made love in 2 months already. I miss him so much. ..
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Hi Lorelai, I read your thread too. im sorry your here too. my husband and i were inseparable. i mean nothing could have stopped us from seeing each other and now he acts like he doesn't care. everyday when he comes over to see the kids and leaves i break down and cry. how can this happen. i just want my life back my best friend back. i miss him so much and the pain isnt getting any lighter. i stopped taking the meds. i just hated the feeling. but i will retry it since more ppl have told me it works give it time. i have been reading the book divorce remedy. ive been going dark, only call or text if its about the kids. when i go out i just want to come home. i dont want to leave my shell. i hate going out cause i see other families together and it hurts more..
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
tonight has been so tough. i have been crying for at least 2 hrs. i dont know what happened to me tonight. i just keep praying he'll come home soon. Heavenly Father, I come before you today with a heavy heart; my marriage is in trouble, and I need your help. Make changes in my spouse's heart. Make us compatible again, and bring us closer together. Fill us with your love and give us the strength to love one another, care for one another, and fulfill your destiny for us.
Show us the harm caused by careless words, and the pain caused by emotional distance. Bring us together, like we once were. Show us how to love one another again.
Heal the division between us. Make us one again.
In your name I pray, Amen.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Depress, I'm so sorry you are in such pain right now. This is one of the hardest things that can happen to anyone. But I'm going to offer some tough love okay?
The important thing to remember - and this really is crucial - is that your own health and your relationship with yourself are more important than your relationship with your H.
Reading your threads, and your state of mind at the moment, I'm concerned that you're focusing entirely on reconciliation as the answer to your current distress.
But actually, you have some work to do first. And the work that you need to do is that which gets you to a steadier and happier place within yourself, regardless of what your H is doing. Now is the time to start pulling yourself up painfully by the bootstraps and seeking help and support to improve your own health and resilience.
MWD talks about us turning into 'blobs' of despair and unhappiness, and this is what you sound like right now. I'm so sorry if this sounds unkind - I don't intend that. But it isn't going to attract your H back IHMO.
So, let's put your H to one side and see your plans for getting yourself to a better place, despite the current situation. Let's see some action from you as well as the prayers. Changing your poster name might be a good start BTW.....
(((Depress)))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Depress, my counselor asked me a question a session or two after my W stopped going. The thought has been in my mind since and while I don't like it at times, who am I to say it isn't true. I'm going to ask you the same.
How do you know this isn't God's plan for you and H right now?
You have been given an opportunity to make some great changes in your lives through this hardship. God may be presenting you this chance because he wants you to become more than you are now. We may not see the path, like the path, or even want this path. However, we might NEED this path for us. Until we take it and see it to the end we don't know what will come of it.
Keep an open mind, if you focus on yourself and make changes you will be happier no matter what. Yes, that may be without H, but maybe it will be. Who's to say our paths don't snake around and meet back up in the future that you can't see because your resisting so much. Don't fight so hard to what you can't control. Control the parts you can (yourself) and let God take care of the rest.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Depress, I truly understand what you are going through, I was there too.
Somebody posted this to me when I was at the beginning of all of this. It helped me, I hope it will help you.
"lost, I can totally empathize with how you are feeling. I had a lot of trouble eating, sleeping, doing anything for those first few weeks.
Let me tell you something that helped me tremendously.
I realized that nobody was coming to save me.
Lost, YOU have to save YOURSELF.
STOP accepting the role of victim.
You said yourself, you have been isolated for too long. Change that. Go out and do things. I don't care what they are. Even if you just go to Starbucks and sit amongst other living beings, even if you don't talk to them.
PLEASE exercise. Force yourself. There were days when I wondered if I would pass out exercising bc I was so tired and so emotionally exhausted. And guess what? I never did, and I felt better afterward.
Are you going to immediately feel all better? No. It doesn't work that way. But as you get into the habit of doing things for yourself, you will start to notice that, bit by bit, you are feeling better.
YOU CAN DO THIS."
Trust me when I say I know how hard this is, but you have to take care of yourself and your kids.
((()))
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
I always think about that too. Is this what it's meant to be right now. I am changing my self or at least trying. I have from where I was a month ago to now. I have been doing better...
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
So on my way home from the in laws. He asked me to stop by so he can kiss the kids good night So I did. We talked about tomorrow and how he's stuck by the grill how it's gonna be a mad house tomorrow. He asked if I needed anything I said no. I said do yiu need anything for tomorrow he said they should be ok. So I said ok good night. And we both hesitated to go our separate ways. He stopped behind my car and I stopped at the door of my car and looked at him and he was just looking down I got into my car and started rolling backwards he then went and got this vase of flowers sitting there and said take these home. I said thank you they are pretty amd he smiled and closed the passenger door. Awww I slowly drove away and he was just watching. I'm not reading way into it BUTTTTTT he could have easily taken them to her. I never mentioned oh those flowers are pretty or anything. Nothing I don't think he knew I had seen them. I just thought oh he's probably going to take them to her
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
