Thanks Mr Bond. I have to admit that when I go I talk about her. I talk about all the things that she does and how wronged I feel. The therapist has told me that those are her decisions and I can't change that. It has taken me a long time to understand that and I still backslide at times. I want her to wake up. I expected the counselor to tell her but I know that's not how it works. The counselor has told me ( like you all have) to concentrate on me. I find it difficult. I want to try and understand her and I want to clear the misconceptions she has about me. I've been trying to get us to go together. She has told me that it's difficult if not impossible for one person to fix this alone. She tells me to hang in there and stay strong for the kids. I feel like I'm not getting enough. I vent. She listens.
I know I sound like a broken record. I amid tending to everything I hear and read. I thank you all especially because you know first hand. I admit I'm struggling. I feel like she's impossible. If I do something positive she says she doesn't trust it. If I don't do it she complains about it. I don't know how to act. She has even accused my mother of journaling her. I'm sure everybody can say this but my mother is a genuinely nice and loving person. She is very church going as well. She has always treated my W as a daughter. Even more because my W has little to no family in this state. She is alone other than me and my family. My mom is concerned about her and the situation and has been reaching out to my W. She doesn't trust that either. Questioned why my mom is trying to be so nice. Nobody can seem to do anything right in her mind.
If I do something positive she says she doesn't trust it.
1st Don't ask if she notices, etc. says you're needy and looking for approval. 2nd Consistency is your friend. Just keep doing what you're doing and ignore the comment. She wants a reaction and don't give it to her. She's probably pissed you're doing stuff now.
Last edited by Sherman333; 03/27/1505:08 PM.
Me: 45 W43 S7, Foster S9 (Planning to adopt post divorce) D mentioned Feb 2015, Wife served 3/24/2015. She moved out 4/15/2015.
Hello board. I've had a few days of nothing really. Minimal talk. I go to work and not much is said. She refuses to have any meaningful conversation with me. I'm confused about our "in house separation" still. Sunday we went to a family dinner at my parents house where she acted fine to everyone. We have some events coming up that I'm not sure how to handle. A weekend trip, a communion, a graduation, and my birthday. I understand life has to go on but if we are separated how do you work these things. Why would we go together to them. Still working on detaching I guess. I did tell her that I won't go on the weekend trip with my roommate. I would go with my wife. I plan on going and taking all the kids. As always I appreciate the input.
