Toot de Suite!

[Sotto]

Thanks Guys. Yes, I realise now it was reactive and best to just not attach to an outcome of him responding...

He will do what he will do....nothing I can do about that...

I'll just work on better enjoying the silence :-)

[rd500]

Hi Toots nothing to add after the vets but remember the 48 hr rule

Take care. Rd

[alpha99]

Hi toots,

I agree with all the others. Don't wait for a reply, keep GAL. If you sent that message you may only be sealing your H's doubts. Just a thought, says he's been ill, busy at work, a million other reasons why he ain't been in touch. I've read again and again here of a spouse thinking of returning only to be turned off it by pressure. I know I'm not one to talk in this regard. Just wait - unless of course you truly want to divorce, which doesnt seem to be the case.

[edz]

Morning Toots

Thanks for the input on my thread, some back to you. You know I'm mr impatient, why isnt w contacting me, whats she doing, I emailed her why doesnt she replyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??!!?!??!!

And so forth.

So I know what you are feeling especially with a lead up like you had. You want to know what he's thinking and whether he still wants to D or is reconsidering.

Honestly in my situation (especially now) I know the feeling just contact me already and tell me what you're thinking so I can set course accordingly.

Now the advice I've had from all you good people I'll return here, just do what you need to do for you now, you're one of the best at GAL I've seen (bar V of course, no one beats V ) you have the new job (congrats) and the book store and the aqua etc. Do those and keep focussing on Toots.

I'm trying to do as much as possible right now and take on and establish new interests. If nothing else it will give me interesting things to talk to w about if, by some miracle, we end up in a situation where we have evenings to fill and hopefully lead to things we can do together. If not then I'll have new avenues to explore myself.

You have done so well Toots, keep on ....well I wont say tooting obviously

(((((Toots)))))

[Sotto]

Thanks for the moral support RD and Alpha. It's much appreciated.

And thanks for the words of wisdom Edz. I think I just needed to get it out of my system really. I feel a lot better today - humming to myself..."let him go, let him tarry, let him sink or let him swim.." etc..feeling quite upbeat.

That's the beauty of this site. You can act on your emotions and post things that may not be a good idea. And other wise posters will let you know before you drop a clanger.

Busy morning at the bookstore (extra shift)...and yoga GAL later for me...

Hope you guys are having a good day :-)

[edz]

Not bad my friend (grumble £60 for a watch battery grumble)

[Pink17]

Hi Toots,

Don't beat yourself down. You are an amazing woman and DBier. You have been growing, learning and is doing a lot for yourself right now.

Congrats on the job, you deserve it.

Just remember that at some point we all hit the wall. It's an agony thinking of all the "why", but patient is the right answer here, even if it hurt the most.

I agree with the comments you got here. If you get to that point you want to D, then you get a L and serve him the papers, that's all. The note you wrote shows only passive aggression, what was probably the way you were feeling at the moment you wrote it.

It's very annoying that your H did not answered you yet. But, I also remember that you said he does not like to resolve big issues, and this is probably the biggest one he has had in his life.

I hope and pray that you have the strength to keep doing what you have been doing. It's great for you and somehow fill the empty space that hurt so much.

My heart goes out to you Toots... remember no news, no bad news.

Love,
Pink

[Sotto]

Thanks for stopping by Edz, and thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement Pink.

Yes, I think I did hit the wall this week. Patience never was a big strong point. Working on that. I look back on the message I wrote, and I don't like it either now.

But, serenity has returned. Sometimes you need to hit the wall, get some 2x4s, have some sense knocked back in, some perspective - and on you go!

I've felt pretty upbeat today. H is taking SS off on a transatlantic family trip over Easter. And I'm fully expecting I may not hear from him until after that, which is fine. SS and his Mum are coming for a visit the week after their trip, which should be nice.

Yes, I think H probably has some food for thought right now. He had a vision in his mind, and things just haven't fallen into place. I think what he saw as a dream life has become a rather rocky road. Oh well, his to travel and not mine - I'm traversing my own rocks at the moment!

T xx

[rd500]

Hi Toots waiting is always the hardest. M my L/C used to be a nurse and tells me that people sometimes prefer to hear bad news instead of no news Waiting is always tough and that's why GALA is so important. I think that you will be waiting a while because your H"s email seemed confused and the Intel you got recently shows things are not going well for him. I would imagine that he has a lot to think about and who's to say he can even think that straight

Carry on living your life Toots , H will do what he will If he decides against reconciliation, more fool him

Take care. Rd

[Sotto]

Thanks RD. And I'm sure you're right about the waiting. I think I've moved forward on that now. I had this expectation that H would be in touch "in a week" because he "needed a week to think." Sometimes I am far too literal. I had the 'waiting' crisis and I've let go of that now. I don't feel I'm waiting as such any more, which is good.

A nice day today. Popped up to see the parents first thing, and then logged on to do some work for the morning. Bookstore GAL for a couple of hours this afternoon. We were in the 'back room' today, and the ladies did some sorting, cleaning and tidying. Worked really hard, and it looked great at the end of that.

Quietish day for me tomorrow, but then Toots is off for some Ceroc Gal (beginners day) on Saturday. Looking forward to that...I think! xx