WAS asked for divorce today.

[aNewGuy]

Every single friend and family member and aquainance who knows us was totally shocked when they found out about our separation.

[aNewGuy]

I'm in real need for prayer from anyone who reads this. Also my ww / waw is in need of prayer as well.

[Cadet]

I'm in real need for prayer from anyone who reads this. Also my ww / waw is in need of prayer as well.

Whats up?

[aNewGuy]

I would like you to pray specifically with me for God to protect my wife while I cannot, for Him to speak to her heart and mind, and to speak to my heart and mind as well. Pray for the right people and places and any other means He chooses to touch our lives with His message to help is both grow and learn what it is we need to learn through this. I pray for Him to give me the patience to wait for Him and the ability to let go of the outcome of this situation. I pray that He gives me the confidence I need to make whatever decisions I will need to make in the coming days and that He will teach me to not second guess myself or seek approval from those around me for the things I say and do.

I am seeing the principles of Michelle's teaching make some progress in my situation and I know my wife is also having a tough time with all of this.

I think I really hurt her a bunch along the way, mainly by trying to "show her the right way " to do things, stupid household things which I really don't care about at all and by constantly going down cheese less tunnels and by not realizing that it doesn't matter whether the chicken or the egg came first. By not taking responsibility and by always seeking validation from her and others I have sent, very slowly but very surely, my wife down a terrible road leading away from me and I there also pray for God to show and teach forgiveness and how to forgive to both of us.

I can't even begin to thank all of you for pouring out your hearts and sharing your experiences here on this site. It is a miracle this is even possible.

[aNewGuy]

And for reconciliation and restoration. She deserves the best parts of me and I of her. I'm enjoying my life and GAL is going well. I want to see my precious wife healed and happy again.

[25yearsmlc]

I would like you to pray specifically with me for God to protect my wife while I cannot, for Him to speak to her heart and mind, and to speak to my heart and mind as well. Pray for the right people and places and any other means He chooses to touch our lives with His message to help is both grow and learn what it is we need to learn through this. I pray for Him to give me the patience to wait for Him and the ability to let go of the outcome of this situation. I pray that He gives me the confidence I need to make whatever decisions I will need to make in the coming days and that He will teach me to not second guess myself or seek approval from those around me for the things I say and do.

I am seeing the principles of Michelle's teaching make some progress in my situation and I know my wife is also having a tough time with all of this.

I think I really hurt her a bunch along the way, mainly by trying to "show her the right way " to do things, stupid household things which I really don't care about at all and by constantly going down cheese less tunnels and by not realizing that it doesn't matter whether the chicken or the egg came first. By not taking responsibility and by always seeking validation from her and others I have sent, very slowly but very surely, my wife down a terrible road leading away from me and I there also pray for God to show and teach forgiveness and how to forgive to both of us.

I can't even begin to thank all of you for pouring out your hearts and sharing your experiences here on this site. It is a miracle this is even possible.

I see this^^ as a solid insightful post from a good man. Keep this^^ up.
I'm very sorry you are here, although this is a great place to be for a lousy reason.


For the record, I'm not a fan of snooping about OMs, unless you know it's a deal breaker (the opposite of your attitude in my opinion).

But til IF & WHEN this becomes an actual issue, I'll leave it at that.


Also, just so I know, did you and your wife decide against children or were you delaying them?

And what was happening in the marriage that made you say "fine, go ahead and separate"?

Keep on your path of growth and becoming the best YOU that you can become.
So no matter what happens, you'll be better off and yes, happier.


Just so you know, a divorce is a piece of paper declaring a marriage is legally over.

I've had 2 family members divorce, only to remarry their former spouses later.

So yes, it happens.

[aNewGuy]

25Yearsmic,

Wife and I were resenting one another - she wanted to spend her time online and ignore my requests for help with stuff around the house. It got pretty bad in the last six months to a year. Plus, she stopped having any interest in sex about two years ago, except on rare occasions. Caused a big circle of why should I do 'x' when you don't do 'y' and vice versa in my opinion.

We decided early on that we wanted to wait to have children.

[aNewGuy]

The rollercoaster is real. I feel as though I have PTSD - from the day she dropped the bomb that she wanted to move out, I have never experienced this much stress hormone flowing through my veins ever in my life. It's like the "fight or flight" response was turned on two months ago full blast and no relief no matter how involved I get in other projects / doings in my life. Not to say there aren't good moments - there are plenty.

I just can't believe how overwhelming the sadness can be. It comes out of nowhere with the momentum of a freight train, set off by a song on the radio or a memory in passing, when waking up from a dream in the middle of the night, or sometimes for no apparent reason at all.

And then I am back to GAL activities (I love the shooting sports, climbing, woodworking, home improvement projects, and entertaining in my home). I feel better and am getting stronger but boy the highs they are high and the lows they are low.

[aNewGuy]

I keep wondering if I should un-friend her on Facebook. I know that sounds a bit trivial, but to many 26 year olds it is significant. Because much as I do love her, she is wayward and is divorcing me. That's not very friendly. But the other side of the coin here, I wish to keep her as my wife and have her back, and taking that step is sort of opposite that, right?

[aNewGuy]

I guess what I'm getting at is that in my switch, everything I do seems to backfire. Nothing seems to be working. She is getting further and further away, at least it seems. It doesn't help that we work together and that she knows I don't want the divorce. I have made it clear that I don't want to go that way but she continues to move in that direction and two months now since separating, I feel hopeless in my own power to do anything to bring her home.