You know you are at your best when you can truly give to your son like that. He knows it or will realize it someday. WW sees this - you know she does. She knows what kind of man you really are and someday may even admit it.
Best wishes
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
OD, just catching up (Amsterdam now). I'm so pleased to hear S15's surgery went well and that OD was able to showcase his parenting skills in all their glory. Yes, it is what you do for your family - but we see full well on these forums that that is not always the case. Parents don't always pull through for their kids. S15 is lucky to have you. W is a fool.
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Good job od, I think you did well in a hard sitch.
It will become easier the more you Pratice and with the more times it happens. Often it's hard to know what's best and later we beat ourselves up, there is nothing you can do to make it different, Apart from od.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Now I'm home and on my own again I feel really low. Woke up and cried in the night and again just now. I'm going to go and see a solicitor to see about ... well my situation. From what I read about divorce last night, it looks she would be awarded everything as she's got the kids. You have to ask, whats the point?
Last edited by Old Dog; 03/19/1508:58 AM.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
OD, sorry you're feeling low. You pushed the boat out this weekend, and then you had all the worry and trauma of S's op. You're probably just coming down from all that, so give yourself a bit of TLC next few days.
It's a good idea to see a L. They normally offer a free half hour consultation, and it's well worth seeing more than one on that basis. I wasn't keen on the first one I saw, but liked the second. Be prepared for the hourly rate of �200+ if your S is a partner in the firm like mine is. Also, maybe have a think about collaborative versus traditional avenues. If you want collaborative - ie you sit round the table with your L and work things out - you'll need a collaborative trained L.
You shouldn't 'lose' everything. As your own housing needs will be taken into account, but your L can advise further.
Also, there's no rush to make any huge decisions when you are feeling raw. It's still early days since you confirmed this is a PA. And as we know these things tend to 'run their course.' However, I always think in-house S's sound very tough, when there is an ongoing A. Only you can decide what you can live with.
Take care OD, and keep up the great work supporting the family...(((OD)))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
As for the legality stuff, I wouldnt take everything you read at face value. It is in part about how you and your W agree things.
there is a child maintenance calculator on the CSA website which will tell you how much this is monthly. Your W works and so you should be able to avoid spousal maintenance and there is no good reason that you shouldnt get half the equity in your house - Your W is the one leaving and who had the affair after all.
Speak to a solicitor, preferably a couple if they do free consultations so you get different viewpoints and proper advice. Also then pick the solicitor you are most comfortable with.
I hate to say it but spending a couple of grand now on a good solicitor could save you tens of thousands over the lifetime of the settlement you reach.
All the best OD
When is your next Ceroc outing?
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
