Confused

[Joe46]

Yes V is giving me great advice!! I have to reread it a few times to kind of understand as I am just a country boy and it takes a minute to sink in!!

[Joe46]

Thank you V! But I wasn't being clear I guess. MBR is in the basement where the carpet problem is. I would have to kick her out of her office. Another thing I need to do is transfer the house phone to my name and my email. I am on the rental agreement, not her. My plan was to switch that first and not tell her. I think she wants it going to her to hide numbers. Also I am going to get my own cell phone account. This was one of the things I calmly stated when she threw a fit when I stated my boundary about the phone sex job.

[Vanilla]

Then move to the new MBR!

V

[Joe46]

Good idea!! I will text her and let her know that since we have this problem with the basement, I will be sleeping in her bed. She can either sleep with me or sleep on the couch. Oh wait she has to work!! So she can either find somewhere out of the house to work, sleep with me or sleep on the couch!!

[Joe46]

So V, what were your thoughts on my switching the house phone and getting my own cell phone plan to start enforcing my boundary? I thought it might show that I am serious!

[Vanilla]

The same bed really? Joe?

You want to show you are serious with your boundaries. Move rooms, switch phones and whatever else you need to do on YOUR boundaries.

Just do it, you told her, you stated your boundary. Just act on it.

If she acts up, just state - those are my boundaries W.

V

[Joe46]

I was joking about the sleeping in same bed. Trying to deal with this better! It is hard, I know how she is. Once I state my boundary again, it will probably be the end of our marriage. I will heal from it. My children will not be okay with this. I came from a divorced home. I was messed up for a long time. I have a sister that is till messed up. I have watched my step kids from her first marriage and what they went through. I helped them the best I could. Now I see that she has me listed as her friend on FB. Before it said ask about relationship status.

So I am going home at lunch and getting a copy of my rental agreement and calling the phone company this afternoon. Than I am calling about switching my cell phone. Than I am texting her about the sleeping arrangements and her job. I deserve to be happy!! I deserve someone that is honest to me and is not cheating or making money from doing phone sex with other men. I found where she placed an ad to do voice overs. Not just regular ones, but adult ones also. She said she can sound sweet and sexy like a teenage girl if they need one. Makes me sick!!!!

[Vanilla]

Save a copy of the ad!

Somewhere safe and where it is private to you. Get your docs together Joe.

V

[Joe46]

Already did that. It doesn't say much. Just that she is willing to do these kids of voices and others. So V what do you think of my plan?

[Vanilla]

As long as Joe is comfortable and can execute his boundaries.

Seems good to me, timing too is key on this to create the minimum of drama. The right time of day.

V