Setting Goals

[Elly4]

I had a dream last night, and woke up with a pounding heart. I lived for six months by myself when I was 21. Other than that, I have never been alone. I think that's what I'm most afraid of.

[Sherman333]

I think that's what I'm most afraid of.

That's probably your biggest fear. I love the Carnegie books on how to embrace your fears. One of the suggestions is to look at what the worst could be logically.

The book is How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

I think it's a good read. It helped me last time I was in this and is helping me now.

[Elly4]

Oh, that sounds like the book for me!!! I'll check it out, thanks!

[Sotto]

Hi Eirinn

I can understand your fear. I lived alone for about 10 years before meeting H, so it hasn't been too hard for me to do that again. What I will say is that living alone has tremendous upsides. You can spend your day not having to cater to anyone else (other than S of course.) There are no compromises to make. You can have whatever decor you choose, watch what you want on TV, buy what you like to eat, don't cook if you don't want to, read your book if you want to etc etc.

What I will say is that when I live on my own I like to have neighbours and I like to get to know them. I feel much more secure when that's the case. I loved our little family before BD - but I also feel happy living alone. If you can face and overcome your fears, you may find you love it too....what's the worst that can happen? :-)

[Elly4]

Thanks, Toots. The neighbor part sounds right. H told me that when he decides he wants to leave, he will give me a month notice. As we live in a very rural setting and both my S and my friends are 40 minutes away, I'm thinking that I will tell him to stay and I will move to where all my support is. I have a huge support in the nearby town and my S goes to school there.

I've had some revelations today, but I need to get to sleep so I'll save some for tomorrow. The worst that can happen with me on my own is that I'll get into my head too much, but as I'll be working full time (I hope), GALing, and taking care of my S, maybe I shouldn't be worried about that.