My wife and I have been married for 14.5 years and together for almost 17. I found out about 3 weeks ago that she was having an affir for the past four months. At first she told me she wanted a divorce but now she said she want a seperation. She tells me she isn't in love with me anymore and she hasn't been for about 10 years now. I thought she was the happiest person I knew. She also told me that this OM isnt going anywhere. She stays at the house about 3 nights a week which is very confusing for our children. We have 4 wonderful children and they cry themselves to sleep everynight she isn't home. I am willing to forgive her for this and forget and move on but she is being very mean about it coming home with marks on her neck and wearing his jackets. She tells me she wants to work on it but I really cant see how she does when she continues to go over to his house every other night and most weekends. All I can do right now is be there for my children and hold them while they cry for her and when they call her she hangs up on them. If anybody has any advice on whay I can do I would really appreciate it. To be completly honest I have tried everything I can think of and everyting my coach has told me and (I know it didn't get broke over night and it can't be fixed overnight)nothing seems to be helping. I'm at my witts end.
I feel your pain. my husband had been distant for the past 2 years. However, I believe he has been depressed as we were suffereing financially and I did not work. I think he resented me for not helping him succeed in life. In nov 2015, he told me that he wants a divorce, and he does not wont to work on the marriage at all. He wants out and does not want to be married to me anymore. He said he has been thinking about divorce for the past two years! I was in shock. however, he never bothered to communicate with me that he was unhappy. i thought he was depressed because we had suffered financially during this time. I thought he was depressed so I left him alone as he did not want me to connect with him emotionally or physically. We have not had any sexual or intimate contact for 1 year as he is distant emotionally. He wont even let me touch him in any way. I was totally blindsided by this divorce thing. I just wish he would have communicated this to me in the past so we could have fixed our problems. Now he wants nothing to do with the marriage. He said he should have never gotten married! I am so angry with him because of his selfish way. We have three children. I am not sure if there is another women as i do not have any proof but he has tried to connect with women over the internet and claims it was only because he was bored!!! Ya right. I am ready to give up on him because I feel he just cannot commit to our marriage and I cannot force someone to be with me if they dont want to. He is looking for a place now to move out and I am heart broken that after 17 years married and 12 years on and off prior to that, he wants out of the marriage without even trying to salvage what we have. Any thoughts what I should do? What kind of man leaves he marriage if they do not have someone waiting on the side. Or at least thinking about wanting to be with other women.
