Thanks for explaining that Wonka... It is hard to trust her at this point, but your perspective (from inside the mind of someone who has gone through MLC) does help.
I do want to believe the friendliness is sincere... I do want to believe that the tight hugs last Tuesday after our heart-to-heart and on Monday after our talk were authentic and sincere... I do want to believe that the tears are sincere... I do want to believe that when she tells me she does love me (but isn't "in love" with me) that it is real and sincere...
But I've seen her admit to others in writing that at least in the recent past she has faked a lot of what she's said and how she's acted towards me... And I've heard her on Skype or on the phone with OW saying really horrible things about me... And I've seen her lie to her own mother (repeatedly over the years) very convincingly...
So a part of me hopes everything is sincere, but another part of doesn't trust her at all. At least not right now...
I guess you could say that my W's MLC has put me into a place of heightened paranoia...
Last edited by Jer2911; 03/05/1501:56 AM.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Just got email from W about her having dinner with a friend tonight (long-time friend from college -- not OW) and when I replied I mentioned that I'd like to meet up with some friends for dinner tomorrow night.
Her reply back was "No problem. What time do you need to leave the house?" Which is not a big deal question -- she just needs to know so she can get home from work in time... But last question was "Who all are you meeting up with?"
So how am I supposed to respond? I said "some friends" in my first email to her... I'm really just meeting up with one friend, but don't want to say it's one friend because I don't want to give her the impression that it's a date (and it is NOT a date -- really is just dinner with a friend)... I'm thinking of just saying it's a couple of friends that I used to work with who I reconnected with recently at another friend's retirement party... but not name any names (which she wouldn't know anyway)...
Background: Prior to BD & MLC, my W has known all of my friends -- at least the people that I would do things with socially -- but now I really am reconnecting with some former colleagues who have become friends over time and who are available to hang out, have dinner, etc. But W has really never met these people because I never did anything socially with them until recently.
So if I don't name any names, will my response come across as if I am playing a game with her? Do I need to name some names, mention that we worked together previously, and leave it at that?
I really need some good advice on this... what is the best way to respond so that I can keep a little mystery around it but it doesn't come across that I am playing a game or being deceitful... or is that even possible to not come across that way with an MLCer who may be suspicious of my intentions or paranoid about what I might be doing behind her back?
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Okay -- will respond that way and leave it at that :-)
I know that my W can be jealous -- but OW is still in the picture and I do not expect my actions (going out to dinner with friends) to have any sort of "change of heart" reaction in my W. So no -- not expecting any sort of reaction. It is far too early for anything like that to happen, if it ever does... Just trying not to make any more mistakes on top of the ones I've already made.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
And my choice to go out to dinner with this friend is just part of my GAL activity... Just need to get out of the house for an evening with a friend and not be around W.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Okay -- just replied back... We'll see what she says in response...
Had a rough day today for no apparent reason... Maybe it was the weather - started out super cold and rainy... I spent the morning feeling very depressed about everything...
After lunch I started to feel a little better, got some work done, did some more job search stuff, then headed over to the church to spend a little time in prayer... Didn't want to leave the church... Just felt so safe there... Felt like everything would be okay as long as I could stay sitting in that pew.
Obviously I didn't stay in the church because I'm not there right now. :-)
Hoping that tomorrow is a better day. Not sure why I was in such a funk this morning... I guess it was just one of those days.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Had a much better day today than yesterday... really must have been the weather... Today was still very cold, but also very sunny.
Today when I went by the church for some prayer time I felt like I had a very strong connection with God for some reason. Not sure why, but just felt like the prayer time was very meaningful today -- well, it's always meaningful and gives me some peace through all of this, but today it seemed more so.
W still has really bad upper respiratory infection going on -- not sure if it's that she's still sick or if Monster is on her way back, but she seemed rather moody this morning before leaving for work and I haven't heard much from her today. She also never replied back to my email response to her question about who I am going out to dinner with tonight.
On second thought, maybe it's just that she's still sick... she at least made an effort to make eye contact with me every time we interacted this morning and Monster rarely makes eye contact with me.
Oh well... Whatever...
Speaking of going out to dinner... Looking forward to getting out of the house this evening. Will definitely be nice to spend some time with my friend and relax a bit. And yes, I plan on looking my best when I leave the house tonight -- it may not matter to W, but then again, maybe it will matter to her... Either way, I plan on having a fun evening :-)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
