Dealing with knowing they're out with OP

[Cherry]

I'm relatively new to all this. And really struggling at the moment so any words of encouragement would be welcomed.
He's out, I know he's with the OW. How the heck do you deal with this without letting the anxiety take you over??
He's just come in, I'm upstairs- my doors open, he walks past and goes into his room to bed. Says nothing to me.. How do you deal with the silences?! I feel like storming in there and yelling at him for not saying hello but I know it'll make matters worse. Plus I'm trying to detach. I just worry by ignoring him and detaching I'm going to push him closer to the OW.

[Fogg]

I wish I could give you some solid advice on what you should or shouldn't do in this situation, but I'm still new also and not really sure the best approach.

I know your hurting right now and questioning everything your doing. We all do this, its natural to want to know if what your doing is going to contribute to whats happening or not. Your H is the only one in control of what he does right now, you cant make him do anything. You are only in control of yourself. Try to focus on that. The intense pain you are feeling will get better with time and you will be able to manage this better. Right now it may feel that it wont, but trust me it does get more manageable.

In your other thread you asked if waking up depressed in the morning gets any better. I remember this from a month ago when I experienced it nearly every day. I would be sleeping and having a dream about W that was pleasant(rarely happened, most were nightmares) and wake up and be punched in the gut with the reality of whats happening. It does get better, you just have to keep moving forward.

I wish I could say more to help right now. Just try and take care of yourself and know you will be ok.

[Cherry]

Thank you. He dropped this on me in January. But it's only the past couple weeks I've decided to devise a strategy and I only found this site the other day so I think it's early days to me. He is just everything he hates right now- and acting like a teenager! Not to mention he contradicts himself left right and centre

[Barry]

Hi Cherry.

I'm sorry, I don't know about your sitch and its hard to do I know but try your best not to focus on H too much. You really need to take care of yourself right now. Trust me, I've been through hell in the last 3 months (separated), but it does get easier. You probably won't even notice it at first, and you'll go through every emotion there is, sometimes more than one at a time. Have you read DB /DR?
If you haven't, read them ASAP, you'll get more from this forum once you have and you'll understand the concept of it much better.

Good luck.

Barry

[gogofo]

GAL, that is what helps most people, that and time. I will be going through this next weekend with my STBXW, so I am trying to plan something fun to do.

If you are busy doing things it makes it hard to think about your situation.