Wonka I like the answer made me laugh. So she called me today complaing to me like im one of her girlfriends. Saying that the OM told her that sat she is on her own. He has friends where they are going and will be hanging out with them so she will have to find something else todo. I was like really this isnt sending up red flags for you. This is getting almost comical. She asked me what I thougt as a friend and as a man. so I said its one of two things one: he's getting tired of you and is exploring to find someone else (because this is his old stomping grounds) or two: he already has plans to hook up with someone and doesnt want you to be there. I said either way for me as a man it sent up a lot of red flags.
Wonka I like the answer made me laugh. So she called me today complaing to me like im one of her girlfriends. Saying that the OM told her that sat she is on her own. He has friends where they are going and will be hanging out with them so she will have to find something else todo. I was like really this isnt sending up red flags for you. This is getting almost comical. She asked me what I thougt as a friend and as a man. so I said its one of two things one: he's getting tired of you and is exploring to find someone else (because this is his old stomping grounds) or two: he already has plans to hook up with someone and doesnt want you to be there. I said either way for me as a man it sent up a lot of red flags.
Congratulations, MWKS. You are now officially in "gay boyfriend" territory.
And THAT will last until you put an immediate stop to it.
My H did the same with me - started moaning to me that OW wasn't treating him very well. She was distant sometimes and not very nice to him.
It really really bothered me that we were having that convo and it was partly what made me decide to start LRT. Next time he and I spoke, I told him I wasn't willing to be his friend and talk to him about his R with OW. I was his W, and his R with her had been a betrayal of me - not what 'friends' do.
He apologised and said he'd probably said too much. I've never asked him about OW since.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
My H did the same with me - started moaning to me that OW wasn't treating him very well. She was distant sometimes and not very nice to him.
It really really bothered me that we were having that convo and it was partly what made me decide to start LRT. Next time he and I spoke, I told him I wasn't willing to be his friend and talk to him about his R with OW. I was his W, and his R with her had been a betrayal of me - not what 'friends' do.
He apologised and said he'd probably said too much. I've never asked him about OW since.
Whoa now starsky309 I get what you are saying but she wanted an answer and I gave it. Now do I think hes getting tired of her yes as I said earlier some number started texting to her saying that he was tired of her but couldnt get rid of her. So I think he has a plan to have her catch him with another woman. or at least I hope but thats the only thing that makes since to me. If most people wanted to hang aroung friends y wouldn't you take the girl?
Look....you don't have to ANSWER everything W as to say to you...especially when it comes to the OM. You are her husband fer cryin' out loud!! Then start acting like one instead of being a Wet Noodle around W.
This gives W a tacit permission to carry on with her A because she sees that you are willing to talk about OM with her which is why we call veering into the "gay boyfriend" territory. F@ck that!
Reclaim your balls and take back your power as her husband. Lose the fear. Tell your W that you are not willing to live in an open M and it is incredibly disrespectful to you to engage in an A with the OM. That SHOULD be your boundary.
You're trying to save your marriage...right? No? Then go and grab your balls back from W. Start standing up for yourself with courage, strength, and dignity.
Be Clint Eastwood...don't take chit from your own W.
I think this is more about a boundary and respect issue with you and W - not about what may be happening in her R with OM.
IMO, it is unreasonable for a WW to have a convo of that kind with her LBH about OM - with whom she has betrayed your vows and disrespected your M. She is trying to treat you as though you are her best friend - and you are her husband - who has been betrayed.
So, for me, it is about setting a boundary that she is respectful to you.
Last edited by Toots; 03/03/1508:49 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
