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Originally Posted By: MWKS
So here is my question, how long will this last? Like I said she has put the OM before everything. Us, the kids, everything. can anybody answer that?


Thank you. She IS putting the OM and her little affair before everything.b

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Yes she is but how long do you think this will last. She asked me to reserve a hotel room for them this weekend. I looked at her and said are you serious no I wont if you guys want a hotel room for this weekend he can pay for it. She told me he doesnt have the money and I said thats not my problem now is it.

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Originally Posted By: MWKS
She asked me to reserve a hotel room for them this weekend. I looked at her and said are you serious no I wont if you guys want a hotel room for this weekend he can pay for it. She told me he doesnt have the money and I said thats not my problem now is it.

WOW, that takes some b@lls on her part. There is no set timeline of how long her A will last, so you need to move past that line of thinking. I suggest you get up to speed on those boundaries asap!!



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Wow MWKS - I can't believe she asked you to book them a hotel room!!!

Your reply was spot on. You could have added a boundary, positively saying you will not support her conducting an A in any practical or financial sense. If she wants to continue disrespecting your M in this way, she has to sort out her own problems.

Just asking you is incredibly disrespectful (IMHO....in fact I'm seething on your behalf - can you tell??) I would be very firm and clear on your boundaries for sure right now.

As for how long it will last - who knows? I read that around half of A's fizzle out within 6 months...but they can last as long as a couple of years. Only a tiny percentage 1-3% result in M, and there is a 75% D rate for them....dismal forecast if you're having an A - but good if you're a LBS....albeit settle yourself in for a long nd bumpy ride my friend.

Last edited by Toots; 03/03/15 02:29 PM.

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We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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The stats are not good for affairs turning into long term marriages... lol look at me. My marriage started off as an affair (without my knowledge that's what it was!!!!!!)
We married and decided to have kids VERY quickly. He was only "happy" for a little over a year. If kids/marriage wouldn't have been involved it would have been over before the 1yr mark.

You have to keep reminding yourself that it's only the fantasy everything is perfect for so long. Eventually reality sets in and there are problems. Some quicker than others.









Originally Posted By: Toots
Wow MWKS - I can't believe she asked you to book them a hotel room!!!

Your reply was spot on. You could have added a boundary, positively saying you will not support her conducting an A in any practical or financial sense. If she wants to continue disrespecting your M in this way, she has to sort out her own problems.

Just asking you is incredibly disrespectful (IMHO....in fact I'm seething on your behalf - can you tell??) I would be very firm and clear on your boundaries for sure right now.

As for how long it will last - who knows? I read that around half of A's fizzle out within 6 months...but they can last as long as a couple of years. Only a tiny percentage 1-3% result in M, and there is a 75% D rate for them....dismal forecast if you're having an A - but good if you're a LBS....albeit settle yourself in for a long nd bumpy ride my friend.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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Originally Posted By: MWKS
Yes she is but how long do you think this will last. She asked me to reserve a hotel room for them this weekend.



C'mon, are you for real??? This is awfully hard to believe.


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Originally Posted By: MWKS
Yes she is but how long do you think this will last. She asked me to reserve a hotel room for them this weekend.



C'mon, are you for real??? This is awfully hard to believe.


No, they'll do this... Sometimes they will do it without you knowing it, using your money on OM/OW and for hotel rooms, gifts etc.

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I know!! Ever since I read this, I've been thinking....what??? No!!!


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Quote:
So here is my question, how long will this last? Like I said she has put the OM before everything. Us, the kids, everything. can anybody answer that?


Seven months, three weeks, two days and 15 hours.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Originally Posted By: sandi2
Quote:
So here is my question, how long will this last? Like I said she has put the OM before everything. Us, the kids, everything. can anybody answer that?


Seven months, three weeks, two days and 15 hours.


My crystal ball is crack'd...not much use at all. grin

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