It's been awhile. I just haven't known what to say- how to describe what has been happening.
So I'll try. It's been going very well with H. He is still based in Dubai so it's slow. Maybe it's better that way for us. Each time he comes back it's a little bit more comfortable, more relaxed, more moments of genuine warmth between us.
I am slowly seeing my old friend return. That in itself had been an incredible experience to see.
We have not been intimate and I have not had a big apology. I have seen guilt and remorse. We are only just starting to talk with a little more depth. He will get close to an emotion and pull away from it. But he doesn't pull away from us.
I know he is supposed to be moving heaven and earth for me. I haven't had big gestures but I have several continuous small ones. Even very thoughtful gifts that have actually surprised me over the past several months. My birthday was earlier this month and he Mae the effort to invite out close friends and prepare the food. He got me an amazing new purse as a gift.
It has been frustrating too. I think more for me? I am at such a different place then him emotionally. I know he is working though stuff - just the emotional turmoil of the affair itself let alone the actual leaving his family- moving to another country etc etc. I feel in one way I understand what he is going though because of all my time on the boards here but also that he works hard to not let me in... Yet. So I work hard to stay strong in my beliefs. Because several times in my head I have thought this is just too hard. I then take a step back from things and put everything in perspective. That helps a lot. Not to panic and remember that I am in control of my emotions and decisions.
I feel very strong and confident mostly. I waved at times because he is still very private on many things. Because there is still a wall- albeit a shorter and thinner one- between us. But I am so positive and hopeful. I see him waking up to his kids, his friends, my mum, in ways that I could not have imagined. It truly warms my heart.
I am not afraid to be honest with him. I try to be honest- fair- and always calm. I try not to judge. Just listen and understand. I know I will need my turn to be heard too and we have spoken about that. He understands that.
It is what it is for now. He has said to me again he is committed to this and this family. He thinks we have made 'remarkable progress'. I know he is scared of me wanting to move 'too fast' and I am conscious to temper myself. Not really for his sake only. For mine too. I never want to lose my head again. I like being hopeful but not expectant- I like what I have become after all of this and I don't want to lose that.
He told me recently that he is afraid of death. Even though I know that is hand in hand with MLC it actually surprised me. He always seemed/seems so composed and so in control and even though I know deep down this is a facade and he actually is in turmoil, it surprised me nonetheless. I felt compassion for his fears and also thought 'wow- textbook'.
I try and be his friend. I know he needs to trust me (so ironic). I try to almost role model for him? Show him the way..? He won't talk to anyone yet. And my instinct tells me it should be me to help him get there. Is that an accurate feeling? I know he has to want to get there on his own- but I can lead the way? He seems to be looking. He seems to be identifying more with his emotions. And he really seems to be realizing what this has done to the kids- and he does not seem afraid to rectify that.
We are working on him being here most of the time and just going to Dubai for when he has to be there in person for work.
We are planning some family holiday time next month and this will be the first only-us-four-holiday in 5 years.
I am so grateful for this opportunity we have been given. I have no clue where it will lead. I can only continue to move forward and continue learning and growing. I don't know if I am 'piecing' but I am hopeful for my family.
I need to come back here more. I have been horrible over the past several months. I actually read a lot but haven't posted. I need to come back. This place was absolutely without a doubt the place that saved me. God bless you all.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
What a surprise to see your posting today! How are you and the children doing? Your situation is moving very slowly, but that's good. The slower the better because when he does finally wake up, he should be a mature man ready to face the world.
I know it's frustrating that it's taking a long time, but acceptance is a very slow process and it takes a long time for them to go thru it. You will need to dig deeper for more patience and do not put pressure on him right now. He's moving towards you and that's a plus. Give him plenty of time and space to finish up his journey and if and when he finally recommits, it will be well worth the wait.
Please drop by again soon and let us know how you are doing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes so good to hear your update. And the only thing I am going to disagree about is that YES it seems like it is taking forever but in the scheme of MLC it really has been quite short.
And our training at the beginning is because this is a marathon not a sprint and we must apply the lessons we have learned, in order to get to the finish line.
Thanks for coming back to share, LBS need to read posts like this one as often as we can, its like a glimmer of hope.
Glad to read that your M is moving toward a better place.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
((((((((Job, Cadet))))))))) it aways warms my heart to read your words. I think if you both very often as I navigate through all of this in my head and my subsequent actions.
The kids are doing great, thank God. They are starting to feel a lot more secure about their father than they ever have before. Our dynamics are so new - there is very little precedent at all of what our family was like because when He left the kids were very young. So it's new and exciting too. My boy is getting to the age where he really needs a positive male role model in his life and I continue to pray that H can be that man. For my D of course too- I just mean S in particular at this developmental stage of his life.
It is slow and I don't begrudge that. I respect it. There are times when I am frustrated but as i Mentioned- I work through it and look at the big picture of how far we have come in less than a year. Sometimes I can't believe it has all happened. Because I finally realise that I am in such a good place with or without H- I really never thought I would get here. I feel like I was absent from life for a long time.
Yes- OW is out. Thank God.
2b- there is aways hope. And this is the place where hope shines at its brightest. It is ask the place where you will be humbled to your knees and have the biggest life change you will experience. And it will be for the better. In a strange way- I feel grateful that I have had this journey. Not because i wanted the pain and turmoil of betrayal but because I never would have known what it is to live life awake and aware, understand true love and live in gratitude for all the blessings surrounding me. Even in the darkest and the brightest times- I wont lose myself again.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Busting, it is so great to hear from you! It was just thinking about you recently. My thoughts were that everything was moving in the right direction with your H, you just didn’t have time to post. Guess what, I was partially right, about the H part!
I’m happy to hear that your kids are doing great.
As for your H, I think he is one of the slower MLCers. And I agree with others, the time is different for them. He is connecting with his kids, with his friends, with relatives. These are all good signs. Remember what job said in one of her older posts, the spouse is always the last in terms when it comes to reconnecting. I think you’ve doing great! One step at a time.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I am so glad to hear from you. Like you, I continue reading but don't really post anymore and it was a great surprise to see your new thread.
I am so happy to hear that things are progressing for your H. I have known for a long time now that you will be fine either way, but I also know you still love your H and hope that things continue to improve.
Your timeline and mine are the same and we have been at this for a long, long time and are now experiencing the rewards of our hard work. Please, please keep posting and I will keep visiting and encouraging you along the way.
I am glad to hear the kids are doing good. I'd love to see a recent picture of them. A few of us are still in the alt, so come visit us there as well!
(((((((busting)))))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Oh, Busting, so good to hear from you - and that everything is coming along so well. What a lovely surprise.
I know that feeling, "like I was absent from life for a long time." - very glad to know that you are back and enjoying life regardless of what develops with H.
What a great update. Hope you will keep us informed!
You know Busting I always knew you'd be ok. The marriage thing? no one knows that, but I believe that a person who can keep it together has a better change of salvaging their marriage.
I am glad for you , I am impressed and I hope nothing but the best for you.
Please do come back, DB can always use more of the successful, success stories.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
It's been a long time since I posted and I feel like it's time for an update.
My mum passed away on 7 May. It was, of course, very tough. H was by my side and with me and my family the whole time.
Since then I felt something switch inside of me. Like I had unpeeled yet another layer of myself. In a nutshell I felt really done with the past 5 years of my life. I felt completely ready to put it all behind me 100 percent with or without H. No more drama, no more standing, just...no more. And I can say it was honestly the first time I felt that way so completely since this started - I had no more fear.
In the meantime, H was moving back home for good. He packed up Dubai ( although that also had to do with several bad business decisions over the past 2.5 years) and moved back home. I had heard some whispers of Ex Ow being here and there...H speaking to her.... Having to pack up Dubai as well... Anyway....
I called H before he came back from Dubai and told him I had come to a decision - my boundary for him to come home was absolutely zero contact with ex OW, transparency and the rebuilding of trust. I said I am ready to break the family up for it because I was DONE. No threats, no ultimatums. It was his choice. I respected it whatever it was, but this is how I want to live, and if he wants to be a part of that, great. If not, that's fine too.
He did not like it at first, but that was fine with me. It wasn't the OW, it was that I was putting a boundary. He said ' I have no choice then' I said ' you always have choice, no one is telling you what to do'. ( he doesn't like to feel like he is being told what to do-- who does. But he realized I really was NOT telling him what to do, only what I wanted and if he could not accommodate then that's ok ).
He returned from Dubai about a week after that phone call and before he unpacked I asked him to chat. I repeated what I said on the phone. He said 'yes' I said ' yes, what?'
He said ' yes, I will not contact or speak to OW and if she contacts me I will tell you'. He agreed to be more transparent and rebuild trust.
Since then, it's been calm and warm. We have been alone as a family on summer holiday for the first time in 5 years. He is an amazing father ( touch wood). I can't believe it in fact. I stop and just watch almost in awe. It's awkward to have him show interest in me again. I can't remember him being kind to me and it almost seems weird ( The past 5 years really dominates my image of him and I know that needs to change). We enjoy quiet time together, watching tv shows, chit chatting and spending a lot of time together as a family. We have not been intimate, we do not sleep in the same bed still. He is still a it private and he is withdrawn. He has lost a lot of money over the years, and has made very poor decisions which have left him with not much. He has us though and I think he realizes that finally.
He doesn't talk a lot about what happened, not at all. I know that needs to happen. It's almost like sparing with someone who has come out of a horrific accident and just needs to work through it before they can talk about it.
There is a tremendous amount of respect being accorded by both of us which I really appreciate. I still read these forums and have been reviewing the 6 stages again, and I understand my role is fundamental to his recovery as well. Especially now. Sometimes that is hard because inside my head and heart I want to just shutdown and have someone tell me that everything will be ok. But I know that I am my own person and I don't actually need that. I am strong and independent and wow- have changed so much.
So I am sitting here now having a drink with H as the kids play in the garden. Thank you God. I am forever a believer, and grateful, and humble and thankful.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thank you Heavy. I have not read your sitch yet, but I hope you are getting through this journey with love for yourself.
((((()))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
It does seem so..although I don't think H's both feet are fully on the platform yet .. :-)
What a ride indeed... Could you have ever imagined...? But you know? I am better for it, and that is something that I will never want to lose again...ME. Xxx
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Bustingout, thank you for your post! I will need to read your story, it's been a long road for you indeed! It is stories like yours that give us who are in this the encouragement to keep going, to keep improving and to be patient.
I wish the best for you and your family, please keep us updated when you can.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
busting, I'm very sorry that your mum passed away. It's never easy when you lose a parent or a sibling. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
As for your h, it's going to take some time for him to feel comfortable in his own skin before he'll actually talk about some of the things that went on. Give him plenty of time and space. There will come a time when you will be able to have that talk w/him...but please be patient. Okay?
Please continue to post as we would like to see how you and your family are doing. Don't hesitate to ask questions because reconnection is the hardest part of the journey. Sending you much love and plenty of patience shovels today!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you Job :-) it is so comforting to know that you are out there.
I am trying as much as possible to keep a level head and focus on the rationale rather than the emotional right now. I don't think I have really grieved my mum's loss to be honest and I know that will come.
I have so many questions and to be honest, it is the voice of you, J3B, Cadet and starsky I hear when I imagine the responses :-)
I guess my most pressing question is is this 'normal'? Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on the best years of my life, intimacy, adventures, etc, and then I think, does it really matter..?? It will come with time. But How much time? A part of me is very content having my space and own bed but another part of me wants to be wanted by him.
And I also think, why if this is as good as it gets? I suppose a part of me imagined a sort of joy from his end that we were coming back together as a family and a couple. I don't see joy though. No excitement. I am excited inside. My family has a chance..! But am afraid to show it so I don't scare him off. Sometimes I feel like he does not realize just what the hell was actually going on the past five years. He still talks about Dubai as a 'business decision' which is only partially true. He does not acknowledge anything else. Well, that's not completely true. He has said that he knows he has to clean up his mess. He has also acknowledged that he tends to be a 'yes' person and does not want to be that anymore- making promises to people that he can't keep, just trying to please others. I see that as growth.
I suppose more than anything I am just feeling done with this and his crisis. I want to continue growing and learning and living and until he faces it and leaves it behind, it's still there, still a part of me. Is that selfish?
Job how are you? How are you spending your holiday weekend? I hope filled with love and joy. How could you not be though? It is who you are (((()))) xxx
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Mleigh4 thank you for your post. I have followed your sitch and felt very close to you at times in your journey. I hope you and your son and H have a fabulous holiday weekend and the BBQ turns out great!
Xxxxx
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
When H came to the ICU before my mum passed, my dad said to him ' she was your biggest supporter'.
And it was so true. My mum kept me going and standing even when I didn't think I could. She truly believed in H and in Our marriage and family. God rest her soul.
Sigh.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I'm sorry about your mum Busting. I got carried away with the good stuff and didn't mention it. I remember you brought her up often, mentioning how supportive she was. I'm sorry.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
busting, What you are feeling is very normal. We fight hard for our marriages and then we detach. When the crisis has settled down and the spouses begin to talk of reconciliation, by that time, we are much further along than they are and quite comfortable w/how our worlds are revolving. This is where the MLCer will either work hard on themselves and try to play catch up or they will drift along. Your h is going to have to earn your trust once again. It's hard work. He's going to have to be transparent and be more than willing to share and/or show you his messages, etc. If he's just returning because he has no place to go or thinks it's the best he can do, then the relationship will not work. He's got to put forth the effort to make things right w/you and your family. He's got to face his demons and accept that there are some things that happened long ago that he can't change.
Treat him as you would a friend or a roommate, nothing more for a while. Nothing says that just because he has returned and is living under your roof that you need to stop growing, learning and living your life. These are the things that you will need to continue and remember...the old marriage is dead and this is a brand new relationship. You, and only you, will be the one to make the final decision as to whether this reconciliation is something that you want. I say...give it a whirl and if it's not working out, then you'll know what you need to do about the situation.
For now, try to keep the focus on you and your children and allow your "roommate" time to readjust to living under the same roof again.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Busting, I’m so glad you came here and posted the update. I was thinking about you recently, wandering how you were doing. I kind of “knew” that the things were moving in the right direction for you. I think what you are experiencing is very normal. Like Job said, your H will need more time to fully come around. He is showing some interest in you, and this is big progress from my point of view. You will have to become good friends again first.
I’m so sorry about your Mum. I’m happy to hear that your H was very supportive of you. I think it will make a difference in how you remember this even in your life.
Busting, you have so much patience and grace and wisdom. I admire it so much. I hope to hear more updates from you in the near future.
Thanks for stopping by my thread .
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I understand what you are saying. All of it. and I can do that. I think mostly I just tired. Mentally and emotionally. And I sometimes feel like ' whatever'. Then I step back and look at how far we have come and think ' I can still do this'.
I think I need to speak with H again? I am sure that he is not only back at the house because he has no place else to go. He before he went to Dubai he wasn't living with us and had an apartment. He could have done the same this time. Also he did tell me that he was back for the children and me ( not just our children).
But he has not faced his demons. At least he has not expressed it to me. He may be facing them internally but we have not spoken. He says this will happen with time. He needs time. We will see.
I will continue growing and living. I won't stop.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Bright! Thank you so much for your kind words. I have always felt we would get on if we met IRL!! Mani/ pedi, shoe shopping and drinks. And some MLC thrown in the mix too!
I hope you are well.
Xxx
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I think I need to speak with H again? I am sure that he is not only back at the house because he has no place else to go. He before he went to Dubai he wasn't living with us and had an apartment. He could have done the same this time. Also he did tell me that he was back for the children and me ( not just our children).
But he has not faced his demons. At least he has not expressed it to me. He may be facing them internally but we have not spoken. He says this will happen with time. He needs time. We will see.
I will continue growing and living. I won't stop.
Facing his demons will either come or won't, just like many LBS's he could be stuck too. I think it is still too early to tell, I think that Job's basic advice to sit and do nothing right now is the best policy. All will be revealed to you at the right time. Keep living your life and see where it takes you.
Great to read your update as I totally missed it.
Sorry about your mom and I hope you can keep living your life to the fullest.
It's been a long time. I hadn't realized how long..
For some reason I felt a pull to come to the boards yesterday and found out about Jack three beans. I burst into tears. He was extremely generous to me in my darkest times.
Prompted me to start looking though the threads. I read my earliest posts and my latest posts. All of the people that have come and gone over the years. All of the invaluable advice offered by people out of love, trust and respect, people we most likely will never see, but walk the path with in our most vulnerable times. This is one of the most authentic, loving and generous communities I have ever had the honour of being a part of. Thank you. And as Jack told me one time, it's not about thanking but about paying forward.
The very essence of this board.
i hope you are all well. Mach, Starsky, Cadet, LITB, job, 25, bustorama, AJM, Drew, Bright, Accuray....bug, zig, NLW, Mr Bond, Vero, NG, KG....I could go on and on. You all saved me. It takes a village...
Quick update on my stitch. I am really good. You do come here looking to desperately save your marriage. As Jack once told me, I didn't google how to become a better person, I googled, how to save my marriage. But it is about you. About saving you. Becoming a better version of yourself. About working from compassion and warmth, and not fear and anger. That is the little golden nugget of truth. And to change your focus from your spouse to yourself, when trying to save a marriage seems wrong. Counter- intuitive. And it's not.
And I was saved. And I am not done learning, growing and moving forward. This process does not stop. It should not stop. We should not stop knowing who we are.
My H and are still piecing. We are much further a long than a year ago, and this really is harder than I thought it would be. However, as long as I can continue to be true to myself and to him, and I still have the patience to piece, I will.
Starsky told me that he was seeing two versions of myself last year. One that got rattled up and lost her mojo when H was around. This was true. As I became more comfortable with my 'new' self, I could really feel the changes that had occurred in me over the past 5 years and made an effort not be afraid of putting into practice my new self. The confidence, the perspective and esteem I developed.
This I believe has helped my current status with my H. Despite the speed of our piecing it has been positive, respectful, fun, honest, loving, and growing. While we do have disagreements, they have not been filled with ugliness. We really do get to choose how we respond to others. We are in control of that.
For what it's worth, as I read through my stitch yesterday from the start on these boards, many emotions were felt. A lot tears came out for that woman and her kids that were in so much pain.
Time, faith in the process ( trust the process, right Cadet?), and patience, patience mostly with yourself, are key.
And for what it's worth, this morning I asked my H about a part of our stitch that happened in 2012. I wrote about it in painstaking detail on my thread. I can still remember what he was wearing at the time. He didn't remember it. He couldn't remember that he had stayed away from the kids for three straight months. He couldn't remember.
And such is the MLC mind.
He is still not fully baked...
My love to you alll.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thank you so much for sharing your story and update. It really illustrates the patience needed in dealing with MLC. You are an amazing person IMO and I'm so happy to hear that you are still piecing with H. Very interesting to hear of the memory lapse. I'm going to have to read your thread. Thank you again for coming back to update!
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
Patience is so key in this. I can't emphasize that enough. I will go read your stitch. I hope you are doing well.
Busting
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Busting, what a great thing to hear from you! I missed you here. I’m so happy to hear that you are still on a reconciliation path, moving slowly and steady towards where you want to be. I’ve been thinking of you quite a bit recently, especially when reading some stories of false starts and when things looked promising, but MLCer went astray again. For some reason I was so sure that your R is still going strong. And here you are, telling us that you are still piecing!
I’m so glad to hear that you are felling stronger and more comfortable with your “new” self. And thank you for coming back and posing the updates. It is interesting to read that your H doesn’t remember some parts of this journey. Did you tell him what happened and was he surprised to “learn” that? It is also interesting that you think he not fully baked yet. You have lots of patience, Busting! And this what makes your story different.
How are your kids doing? Take care and come back to visit us once in a while (As you can tell, I'm still here, LOL)
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Hi busting I am sorry for your loss but I am glad your H was next to you in this difficult times. Yesterday I was reading an early old thread of yours in 2012 with j3b . I didnot know jack yet but his advise and support to you were amazing... I felt he was also talking to me. His words where spot on and the way he validated you and others was amazing. Thank you for sharing your story I loved it when he said warm better than than cold... how he was available every step and you were great.... when you are talking I felt my self. We have somethings incommon maybe the more middle eastern background /culture/expectation. Unfortunately I am. I way close to piecing... my H is still running everywhere around. I don't know if he has an OW at the moment as he denies that.he used to be the best father but now he just tell kids he loves them a lot on a msg once a month . For last 21/2 years I kept send him pictures of them basically kept him updated about their progress in school you and activities . I basically tried to stay warm until September when I decided enough is enough I am not his personal aid when he is interested to know he can ask.... basically pulled back ....I read through2012 will still go over the following years. I also know you are piecing now ...so good luck ... you are definitely a light house. Lots of hugs
M 45 H 45 D1 12 D2 9 BD 04/14 Living two different state Not officially separated
And, so glad you came by with an update.