Part 14 - Contents may flip without warning

[Sotto]

Edz, hope you got a reasonable sleep and today is a better one for you. Remember, if in doubt, do nothing my friend ((Edz))

[jim0987]

Morning edz

Ok, that's good. I hope you don't mind when I pick up these little things because overall I think you've been almost spot on.

This 'can't quite reach' situation you have would surely test anyone's PMA and their ability to control expectations (positive is negative). Is there something you can do to really distract from it? And this is where I'd like some others to chip in, is now a time to withdraw just a little more?

For example could you go away for a few days and be completely uncontactable? Something where you can be warm and positive about it but will still have the effect that she can't contact you for a few days.

What you've been doing seems to be have some effect I guess I'm just trying to think of some options for you. (Hmmmm might be my Mr letmeworkonyourproblembecauseicandonithingonmine getting all worked up)

As for the thing (and kudos for your integrity in this), what is it that worries you? if you can say. What she's says or does about being done only really matters if she crosses a boundary of yours. Are you able to say what boundary of yours it crosses?

Anyway enough of that what culinary delights do you have planned for the day? (I'm making lasagne)

[edz]

Good morning everyone

An ok nights sleep, disturbed dreams kept making me restless so was up and down. Up shortly to get exercised and showered before getting s ready and breakfasted.

Thanks toots I appreciate the concern (and the hug)

Jim please continue with any questions or feedback they're appreciated too.

Will see how this morning goes and if thats me for the weekend or if w throws an unexpected request. The issue on nc is s, I just can't go completely dark or absent thats feeding into the way I was with him. I can easy do it just turn off email and phones and go out but w goes dark for days on end sometimes so I'm not sure it will help.

Sorry mate I just can't go into thing too much. I can say that its been on my mind and is pretty fundamental. Depending on scope and if w was interested I may be able to live with some aspects but I'm guessing she wouldnt want to try if its somewhere she needs to focus on. Can't really expand on that though I'm afraid and even in the above I'm being deliberately vague

Planning pork and spicy rice with peppers this evening and today will be shop mooching once s is back with w. Will just try to stay out as long as possible tbh.

Thanks again guys.

[Sotto]

I agree withdrawal a little further may be a good option. Allow your W to pursue this a little more if she wants to. I do think you remain very 'available' to your W Edz. I can see your POV as far as S matters go - but it extends beyond that.

You say that your boundary is you won't be WBF, but your sitch reads as though you remain WBF....

Maybe you could try very limited availability for a week, whilst being pleasant, brief and a little mysterious.

Like Jim, I'm just not sure - but hopefully food for thought anyway...

[jim0987]

I guess I was thinking of it more positively in a 'I'm going hiking in the peak district for a couple if days so I won't be contactable'

So not going dark or NC just simply being completely unavailable because your off doing something fun.

Ugh peppers - despicable things.

[edz]

Hi Jim

Ah I see, no not really work doesn't allow it and neither do the financials. I'll see how today goes, I expect frosty mode this morning, I'll fix her printer and get out and start working on my image as well as getting some pants that fit these are way too baggy, could get someone else in here as well ( not that I'm likely to get many offers though lol )

[edz]

Well spun being out a goodly long while. Got pants and a new kitchen brush and frying pan (for reference dont buy cheap tescos ones they fall apart) they dont call me Mr wild for nothing, well they dont at all actually, nearly scored a £17 leather jacket in a sale but it was as you'd expect a silly miss price even in its worn state (looked like crush marks on the back) they wanted £40 so I left it.

Tried next size down trousers which fit if they looked a little snug. Picked up a pair to work up "down" to, new top and some general shopping.

Not much on the agenda for the day now dinner in an hour or so then chill I suppose.

This morning with w went pretty much as I expected she's very quiet no mention of anything bar chit chat really. She asked me how she can migrate her outlook files from the PC she was using at her mums to the laptop told her but she has none of the peripherals etc. This was passive asking again but i didnt rise to it,after a little while she asked could I do it (I did not offer) said yes but only there (I dont like being in her files without her knowing what I'm doing I fight snooping though it would be soooo easy so I dont want to get accused of it!) so doing that Monday won't take me long and may be the IT help swan song for a while.

Other than that fixed the printer as requested and had a coffee, spent a little time with s, PMA, smiled but didn't feel it today there's too much swirling around.

W got a new hair appointment after I'm back at work so was busy saying she'll see if her friend can have s neatly proving my point on time to talk but I simply smiled and said nothing.

Anyway just home and unpacking everything sent a very quick text to let w know s left something in the car in case she's looking for it, call me if she wants to talk otherwise I'll see her Monday. Got an okey dokey back nothing more.

Ho hum, bit meh this afternoon and the steel grey murky spitting weather is not helping. I shall have to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get dinner going maybe some wine a bath and an early night tomorrow off on another jacket hunt and dropping my Mr chunky clothes off at a charity bin to make some space in the drawers. Old drawers so to speak in the rubbish of course, dont need a big flag

[edz]

Well tried on the clothes I got all fit nicely bar the smaller jeans which is to be expected those are my guide trousers for the next stage. What I didnt realise was the top I picked up isn't an xl I took what I thought was xxl and xl into the changing room(I'm barrel chested and have a 42-44 chest even at goal weight) I actually picked the l and xl and the l is the one that fits still some slight muffinness going on but I can work on that.

Spent the last couple of hours attacking my chest of drawers content mercilessly all the big big stuff packaged for charity bags, big pants binned, socks paired or dumped and pants / socks rolled and put in some cheapy organiser things I got from tesco (sick of hunting for them under t shirts and everything else in the drawer - gumtree being scanned for more storage) lots of old old stuff I'd kept for sentiment dumped too a jumper w really liked me in thats been repaired multiple times etc if we get together it will be new memories if not I dont want it here.

So busy busy. Dinner is on lots of peppers and chilli's Jim

W called and I'd missed it so that was 2 hours waiting for me wasn't deliberate but won't do any harm she was waiting. Question on USB keys sigh... Anyway we chatted about my clothes extravaganza and the close miss on the jacket. Told her to call me if she wanted to chat or to get together to talk or I'll see her Monday - I won't be texting or emailing her unless she does me (didnt say that obviously).

So there we go, looks like another melancholic note to finish this thread on unless something dramatic happens before the new one is needed but could be worse. Fairly upbeat about the way weight is going but not there yet will be by summer or late spring if I can keep up current progress.

I honestly don't know with w only she knows what this talk is going to be; worries, fears, absolute certainties on why she can't get back together or thing and what that means. Or maybe how to make a perfect omelette with cheeeeeeese well I suppose I'll find in due time.

A little sad, a little lonely but chugging on.

[edz]

Oh dear this whole bottle of wine seems to be empty how did that happen?!?!

Must be the only one not out on gal fun tonight!

Ah well swimming tomorrow morning and got a line on a new leather jacket I'll be chasing up tomorrow afternoon!

[jim0987]

No such luck edz. No GAL'g for me. Just trying to sort bits ready for tomorrow.

Peppers truly are evil and they contaminate the stuff around them