My WAW also micromanaged some aspects of my parenting. The one to top them all was an email to my parents about their "concerning" serving of 7-Up to the girls over the Holidays. She fired this email to them less than an hour after she returned from abroad, not seeing D3 and D6 for 2.5 weeks. She did this instead of connecting with them. I stepped in, explained a bit what happened and said we needed to trust each other for the little things, as we knew what kind of parents we are.
I'm annoyed at certain parenting things my WAW does, such as not using conditioner nor hair blowing the hair of the girls. So what? They'll have better hair with me. It makes me more understanding of the things that annoy her about me (I forget lip balm all the time, I put them to bed later).
Our WAW do not have the same mindset about the sitch: they have a different kind of hyper-sensibility to our communications. For us, it's about rejection and lost love. I dread seeing her name in my inbox. For them, it's about getting things done to move on to this next, exciting chapter. Sandi2 often repeats that LBS have no idea how WAW think, but I also think that they have no idea how we think, so we need to let go a little.
I think you're doing well to ignore these texts.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
The only way they can be viewed on Google is if someone specifically does a search for you. Did you write anything that is incriminating or personal to you?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Yes, this is all accessible on Google. With just a couple of key words, I can find all my threads, but one has to know exactly what to look for. I'm not too concerned now, but I would certainly like a way to delete it all in a few months or years. I don't want to blow a reconciliation because it is discovered years after the fact.
My advice is this:
1. Do not use a nickname that's related to your real identity.
2. Paraphrase everything you copy from personal communications and public web content, otherwise someone can Google the exact words and find your posts.
3. Do not give out any personal information that would pin you down in a couple of posts. Over the months, we reveal much but it would take some detective work to read it all and cross weather, activities, etc.
4. Of course, for those with a in-house S, cover your tracks at home and close the browser and delete web history. Recently, the WAW of KeiranR read the entire thread after finding the windows open.
Sometimes I wonder if it wold be such a problem if WAW found this thread. I pour my heart out, no games, and I'm quite clear that I love her and want us back together. Sure, I got advice on how to interact with her and some of this went against my instincts, but my end goal was noble.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
WAW refuses to tell me why she is leaving - each time I ask her it's different and I am more confdsed than ever.
1. I am leaving because ILYBNILWY 2. I am leaving because I am in love with another person 3. I am leaving because I want peace in my life 4. I am leaving because I don't think I will ever find peace in my life again 5. I am leaving because I don't love you.
which of these should I believe or does it even matter any more??
I just think it would somehow give me closure and help me to heal if I knew "the answer". Its frustrating as heck to not know why she chose to blow up our family.
That hurts just about as much as the whole leaving part and rewriting out marriage to "19 years of living a prison sentence."
It just blows all the way around and I am really struggling to deal with it and to rebuild me life.
