newcomer now receives mail in Hell

[bravo61]

That was weird.
My S called to say goodnight and that he misses & loves me. My D then gave me the same message & then said she was going to hand me off to Mama. I felt like she prolly didn't ask to talk to me so I hung up to prevent the ackward unasked for convo.

XW called back 1 minute later and told me that she wanted to wish me a early Happy Valentine's Day. I responded with surprise the same. She sounded really warm. She shared that my D loves the stuffed animal we made at the build a bear store for VDay for her. She then said that the kids conned her into taking them to early breakfast and asked me if I would like to go. She even made it early so I wouldn't lose out on too much sleep. I said sounds good meet y'all there.

Im stoked that I'll get to see my kids on a day that's not mine. Oh yeah, the schools are closed on Mon round here so we will have hours of uninterrupted GAL time!

Hope everyone has a good day!

[bravo61]

It was awesome to see the kids this morning. They both came running up and jumped into my arms. It's amazing the change in this dynamic. The kids just want to be with me and are all smiles and loving and affectionate. They both practically ignored her the entire time and kept reaching out and touching me and kissing me. D said that she wanted to sit by daddy. Every time I got up to do something, they both wanted to go to. I had a huge grin the whole time. At one point the XW(who was watching the interactions smiling) said it would make a great picture but she left her phone in the car. You could have knocked me over w/a feather. She took the pic w/mine and asked me to send it to her.

When I first got there, my D was in my arms& had a huge smile & said "Daddy I'm so glad we're all together as a family." My heart twinged for a moment hearing that. She went and told XW that to little response.

The XW told me bout her work and that she may have other job opportunities coming up that would allow her to parent the way she wants. I actively listened and told her I'm not surprised so many hospitals want her on her team. She expressed her frustration at the housing search. Walked them out to the car and she initiated the hug and told me Happy Valentine's day. She said that she would keep me updated on the job/condo stuff.

It was interesting to notice that she was really watching my interactions with the kids. She had a smile(wistful/sad?) on her face the whole time.

Oh well, can't wait to pick up the kids tomorrow. We have been asked to be greeters at church. Another first!

[bravo61]

So I got spun up because the XW posted a pic on FB w/her and a friend of hers from church. They were posing on a beach, at sunset, at a beer festival, on Valentine's day, she bought the friend high end candy, and they were posed in a way that looked more than friends (everyone agreed). I didn't call and ask if she were now gay, but it kinda freaked me out.

I ended up seeing XW next day for kid pick up at her new church (noticed friend wasn't w/her -although they were going to have lunch). Kids ran & jumped into my arms. Chit chatted w/her for a sec & decided, screw it. After she gave me a hug I impulsively kissed her cheek, with a smile from her. "Hey, you wanna watch the show this week?" She started hemming & hawing so I said well if you decide let me know and I walked away.

She texted me less than 3 minutes later " how about Tuesday nite?" Replied sounds great I'll provide the wine.

She came over and the first thing she did was give me a hug and remarked that I looked happy. Helped her off w/her jacket (after asking her if I could).Told her ME & the kids had a great time. She said that she had really missed them on Mon.(sent e-mail asking me to let them know she was thinking bout them-never responded to it). We drank wine, she complimented the candles I was burning, and we watched the show. We interacted some during the show and flirted a time or two. I helped her off the couch and she slid into another hug and said it was fun. She mentioned her church friend was down about being on her own during Valentine's and that's why they went to beer tasting and the candy. She brought it up on her own. So join fly I asked if she got a kiss from her date. She genuinely laughed and said it was never offered.

She asked to peek in on the kids while they were asleep. She said the pics we put up in there room were great (pics of me & them). Helped her into her jacket and I walked her out to her car. Kinda hoped that she wanted a kiss when she put some lip balm on but I had no expectations. Opened her car door for her and she opened up for another hug and I kissed her forehead. She smiled and said tonight was fun. I smiled right back and said you're welcome to come again.

It's a little frustrating. When it's me & her, we have fun and there's a connection there. Then she gets around or talks to the peanut gallery & then I'm screwed. I. Sure that's why she doesn't want any of them to meet me.

Oh well, counting down the days till I see the kids again!

[bravo61]

Rough without the kids. Yesterday the kids called me before bedtime and my D went into full blown meltdown cause she misses me, begging me to come see her. XW asked if I could/would see D in the am (I was at work). Said sure ill be there straight from work (7a). D didn't settle until I promised (everyone knows when I promise its a sure thing).

Got there and got to wake up D and she jumped into my arms. Snuggled her & S on the couch. While there, XW told me bout her interviews from previous day (being recruited by other hospitals). I let her know how proud of her I am & how amazing at her job she is. At one point while I was rubbing my S back, I looked up and she was just wstching us and smiling.

After 20 minutes or so I announced I better go. She immediately told me I fould stay longer and I didn't have to leave. Just said yeah I better go while smiling at her. She walked me to the door and gave me a big hug.

Will see her again on Sun and I'm planning on telling her im gonna watch the replay of our show on Mon nite and she is welcome to join me. She doesn't work on Tues and tha t was how last week worked. She wanted to watch on a day that wasn't before s work day. How does this plan sound? Her saying no will not change my plans. I would like to keep any forward momentum going but have no expectations for it.

[Sotto]

Sounds good to me - as long as you truly keep those expectations at zero! And, as you say, do your own thing regardless that night. She may or may not choose to join you - no problem!

[bravo61]

hello all.

update: saw the XW on Sun for pickup. it was great to see the kids! i got to wake them up with kisses and they woke right up in a great mood. i told them about the day's activities i had planned. i was going to take them to a children's theatre to see The Jungle Book. my S being 8, was pessimistic about liking it. i reminded him that he said the same thing about Boxtrolls and he ended up loving it. the XW stepped in and told a story about the time i took her to see a movie she didn't want to see but ended up loving it. of course, she didn't tell me she liked it for 6 months, maintaining her hatred for it. that was one of the things we always laughed about-that she hates something as much as that movie (which meant she loved it). kinda shows how stubborn she is. but she told the story with a smile on her face.

that little thing kinda made me feel good. she remembered and brought up a happy memory without any prompting from me. doesn't change anything but i like it. i asked D what day it was (usually answered with a Daddy Day) and she looked at XW and said Family Day? XW couldn't hide the sadness that swept across her face for a second.

on GAL note we had a great time at the performance and the kids got their pics with a lot of the cast. S, of course, loved it.

i also told her that i was watching the show on Mon and she said that she might have something to do and she would let me know. i said cool got a hug and left.

she texted me later that day and said that the plans she had were her working (she couldn't remember what it was at the time). she asked if i would wait until Tues nite so she could join me. i texted back "ok but just this once" with a wink.

weirdness. oh well off to soak up my kids!! hope everyone is doing well!!

[jim0987]

Hi bravo

Just checking in. How's it going?

[bravo61]

hey jim, thanks for checking in.

the XW came over a little early on Tues evening and we all watched Maleficence (sp?). she came in and immediately gave me a hug. the kids were back and forth to me and her. she did respect the fact that it was my night and did not try to interject herself in our routine which i appreciated and let her know. we watched the show after i got the kids and bed. we drank wine and flirted a little. she told me that the house search was not going as good as she'd like. i listened and let her know i knew she'd make a good choice. she asked to see some of the pics of the things we have done lately and asked me to text them to her (a lot of them had me in them). walked her out to her car to leave and we had a longer hug and she wanted me to kiss her forehead.

i did say something that she told me offended her. i immediately said i'm sorry and i didn't mean to offend her (male joke about a cousin that i got along with-guess she's sensitive to that). i reassured her that i like him and would never demean him intentionally. she accepted the apology and nothing else was mentioned.

her birthday is friday and i'm just gonna stop by and drop off the gifts the kids got for her. i have a card for her and i mentioned already the flowers i'm sending because her grandfather doesn't anymore.

she did mention some of the things that she has been up to lately with her friends and that she was happy to have her cousin tell her she looked so pretty in a pic she sent her. she mentioned how it felt good to "be enough and perfect the way i am". i just told her that i can understand that statement and i regret not sharing that sentiment with her enough.

who knows what will happen next. we'll see.
the connection is still there and that's kinda frustrating but out of my hands.

[bravo61]

oh yeah, i also spilled a drink on myself. before i would've flipped out but i just smiled and declined her offer to help after thanking her. she did, however, get to see me with my shirt off .

none of this prolly means anything but i'm just enjoying it as it comes.

[jim0987]

Well that all sounds pretty good to me and id say your last sentence sounds near enough spot on, just enjoy it.

Glad you're doing alright.