HINT: Stop worrying about "what they portray," and instead -- in each situation -- strive to do The Right Thing.
And then let the chips fall where they may.
this^^^^
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
The above comment was meant to edited but i guess i ran out of time. In reading your post it finally clicked. So this the edited version.
25yearsmlc, Thank you for your advice i was thinking the same thing about her tuning me out, I can always tell when that switch clicks. Ok so GAL are just activities and 180 are true aspects of myself that i would like to change. Correct! If that is true the most important 180 that i want to change is my ability to just listen without interupting and following up with my input all the time. I have worked hard on this for a few years and i actually got really good at it but through this process i seem to have gotten back to my old ways.
Another 180 i would like to work on is trying not to dominate a conversation, i tend to want to talk alot. Not in a dickish way but i tend to do alot of talking.
those are two 180 i would like to change about myself.
I think i do understand and it does make sense. this is what i have infered from all of this. I need to just breath, live for me and not worry about the past. W will resent me whether i want her to or not until she comes to terms with herself. I can only influence me and what i need to do. Self Positive reinforcement can help and work wonders along with giving a good piece of mind. Trying to control any volitile situation is pointless, especially one bubbling with emotions. The hardest but best course of action is to just let go try and focus on myself and see where the chips fall. In the end only she will decide whether she wants to be with me or not. That is my take on this entire thing. I am ready for this, for two days i have continued to tell myself that i deserve to be treated better and i derserve to be loved the right way. I have wokeup two days straight feeling better and lighter then i have in a long time. I will continue to grow and be the man she will miss and wish she still had. but more than that i am going to be the man that is happy with himself and knows who and what he is and This man will one day find someone who is willing to give me what i know i deserve!
Keep talking (to yourself that is) about this b/c it helps. And it's true.
DB 101 is "do what works and do none or less of what does Not work." At its' heart its about you being the best YOU that you can be.
That is always a good & worthy goal.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
after reading DB twice i have started to realize more and more that its all about the things you do for you. Those things will untimately change the sitch and possibly your Spouses outlook as well. I have started reading it a third time. then i will start on DR.
this is my new conversation what do you think. is it still too long?
W I understand that you feel I have done everything to be 'mean, and manipulate you' but it was never my intent. The truth about the NC is that; it is in fact legally, out of my hands. The NC was never my request, OM’s Command made that decision. Frankly I've already wasted too much of my valuable life on this and I know that I deserve better. I look forward to finding what I need and deserve in my life & hope the same for you no matter what that is.
Keep talking (to yourself that is) about this b/c it helps. And it's true.
DB 101 is "do what works and do none or less of what does Not work." At its' heart its about you being the best YOU that you can be.
That is always a good & worthy goal.
((( )))
Can I sign that? You cannot describe DBing shorter and more efficient than this.
Regarding your text Raysin. I don't think it matters is you still shorten it. It won't come down to having a sentence more or less. The key message is in there. It sounds very final but I guess that is the "purpose" or goal of letting truly go.
Me 32 (German) Wife 28 T 3yrs M 2yrs Moved to US for W No kids BD 6/2014 In house separation Confirmed EA 1/2015 (ongoing since BD) OM not ready Real D talk started 1/27/15
It sounds very final but I guess that is the "purpose" or goal of letting truly go.
I'll disagree with you, Complex.
It isn't final, because none of us really knows how it ends.
However, it is very directional, and that is the goal of letting go -- the point at which we decide for ourselves what our future is -- it doesn't preclude anyone from joining us, and we're not excluding anyone, but by God, we're moving in a direction we've chosen out of strength not fear, and that feels very, very good.
It isn't final, because none of us really knows how it ends.
However, it is very directional, and that is the goal of letting go -- the point at which we decide for ourselves what our future is -- it doesn't preclude anyone from joining us, and we're not excluding anyone, but by God, we're moving in a direction we've chosen out of strength not fear, and that feels very, very good.
Agreed. It leaves room for interpretation of the outcome.
I love how you defined detachment.
Me 32 (German) Wife 28 T 3yrs M 2yrs Moved to US for W No kids BD 6/2014 In house separation Confirmed EA 1/2015 (ongoing since BD) OM not ready Real D talk started 1/27/15
