I think it was a missed opportunity for validation...next time it comes up, sit still and really listen. Then validate her feelings. Mind you, it doesn't mean that you agree with them. It just means that you acknowledge them. Saying "ok" then getting up to pay the bill isn't the right way to handle W's emotions.
I am getting ready to go work out with a friend but my heart is not in in. Every now and then I just get these waves of despair and anxiety and today was one of those days. I am working full time but it's just hard to keep my focus on work.
I am trying folks, I really really am, but ..... I still feel like a fraud and not making ANY PROGRESS at all. Patience and more patience will be preached I know but again, so very hard.
I am not letting my WAW know of my despair, and an doing my best to not contact her or call or text or meet. All of those actions just make her mad and I have to respect that. I did have to talk to her about W-2's and our tone was cordial but short very short.
I can't believe my life is so empty without her. I am ashamed to admit that but it's true. You know what makes this extra hard is that I am a great catch (ok good catch) have a great job, love my family, don't have any substance abuse problems, don't drink, love my wife, etc... The AP is a predatory creep who is not attractive, has a chitty job, no car, and cheats on her wife. I just don't get it.
OK - thanks for letting me vent.... I will pick myself up and move on. I get my kids tomorrow for the week and I am very excited about that.
... Every now and then I just get these waves of despair and anxiety and today was one of those days. I am working full time but it's just hard to keep my focus on work.
I am not letting my WAW know of my despair, and an doing my best to not contact her or call or text or meet. OK - thanks for letting me vent.... I will pick myself up and move on. I get my kids tomorrow for the week and I am very excited about that.
More later sports fans
The down days are something we all know about. Good job on staying away from contacting your WAW, and looking forward to time with your kids.
I don't have any advice. I just wanted you to know I hear you. Do you have any plans for the time that you get to spend with your kids?
So my WAW gives me the IPAD for the kiddos to use during my time. Of course her emails are not logged out and I could not help peeking....snooping... Jesus Christ.
She is completely in love with her AP, they have pet names, have each others calendars synced, and of course talk about how insane I am and what a creep I am and how pathetic I am. All of our couples friends have sided with her and they all agree I am pathetic for wanting to get back together with her and what a joke that it.
My WAW keeps saying "This is the last straw" "No going back now" and on and on with words to that affect.
This is very disheartning to read and digest. What an idiot and fool I am.
I know what the vets will say NO SNOOPING but it was right there. She even took some of our photos when we were in Hawaii and said "I can see me yearing for you in my eyes"> That is just too much to read.
She is completely in love with her AP, they have pet names, have each others calendars synced, and of course talk about how insane I am and what a creep I am and how pathetic I am.
Aouch... This is so painful to see. But you were expecting it, right? I mean, you knew that WAW was in love and that this is what people in love tell each other? I'm sure my WAW says similar stuff and I'm really, really happy I never get to read it. Already, D6 told me once that OM calls her "my queen" and it sticks with me 4-5 months later.
Originally Posted By: FOOLISH
All of our couples friends have sided with her and they all agree I am pathetic for wanting to get back together with her and what a joke that it. My WAW keeps saying "This is the last straw" "No going back now" and on and on with words to that affect.
She shouldn't know or think that you want to come back together so badly. Her emails should be an indication of the impact of your strategy. Your WAW should know that this is not your choice, but that you're going along with her decision because you know you'll be fine without her. It doesn't have to be true now, but from what I read, it will be true one day. You have to understand that you feed her A by making her feel like she's such a special person that you need in your life. The DB method aims at making her doubt her decision because you seem so content without her. Then, maybe you're the special person and her path is a losing bet.
Believe me, few people here have a harder time than me in conveying this to WAW. But I do. I'd easily be a wet noodle if it wasn't for the whip cracking of sandi2 and Wonka. I really want to tell WAW to come back, that I hurt more than she can imagine, that I can think of 56 reasons for her to come back, etc. Yet, in every communication I try to appear detached and, perhaps, content. After a while, her boring routine will be put in contrast with my apparent life satisfaction. The grass will be greener on my end. At least, this is how I understand DB. I encourage you to make your WAW see (or think) that you're moving on without her, that you'll be fine and you know it.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
NAJ, yes the snooping thing is one of the worst things that we can do to ourselves. It is self-inflicted pain. It will always be with you (I know my past snooping is always with me).
Did you confront your WAW after you saw the emails? It sounds like you did given her response "This is the last straw" "No going back now". Again, I hope you learn from this. After an emotional information dump on you, it was the wrong time to speak to your W about anything.
I'm sorry that you are going thru this. This is bad. Such pain. Mozza has some great advice above ^^^, listen to him. Peace.
Another sick twist she is now back in email contact with her first EA partner from 7 years ago. Her AP confessed for being into her and she thought the flirting was mutual.
My WAW claimed she had no idea.
This EA is what started this whole sad descent and I spent years in therapy over my "anger issues". Yeah I was angry those 7 years ago and she never claimed responsibility for that either.
I am sure it won't be long until she resumes her EA with the first AP. Most likely it will morph into a PA.
