How much more space does gal need to get herself together so she can find herself and work on the M?
If she tells me she needs more space and wants me to not come home for a time.....do I give her the space she needs?
You don't "need space" in order to "work on the marriage." That's BACKWARDS: you two need to be CLOSER TOGETHER to work on the marriage.
Why would YOU be the one to not come home to your own house, when she is the one that has cheated on you multiple times (including carrying on an affair in your own marital home) and repeatedly lied about it?
The Latest today is that she wants more space to be able to find herself again as what we are currently doing is not working.
Every word is script.
Although the H usually hears this statement earlier, it sounds very much like she has not disconnected from OM.
If you decide you want to separate for you to have distance from her, that's one thing. But to think you are giving her space and time to find herself? Please!
She isn't being completely honest with you. I would tell you not to give up your home to stay somewhere else, while she enjoys the comfort of home and continues playing hot & single.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I think I am loosing my mind, I want so bad to believe her but the facts just don't support what she says.
Is there any possibility that I am looking to hard for something to be wrong?
She constantly says that I will never get over this that she "knows me"
Last edited by Hurt06; 02/26/1511:32 PM.
M44 H37 D13 S8 S6 Married 14 W is stay at home mom ILYBNIWY:9-28-14 A started 04/2014 OM confirm 11/24/2014 Admit PA 01/05/2015 09/11/2015 W file for D and wants the moon
She constantly says that I will never get over this that she "knows me"
All script. She is twisting things around. You know yourself better. What do you think?
Denial? Maybe. I know I lost something extremely precious when I had an A. We had complete trust. And b/c my H trusted me so completely, I carried on with some things right under his nose. It would have been obvious to a blind person that something was up.
Ask yourself, why would she say you will never get over this.....when you are the one wanting to save the M, and she's the one saying it isn't working and wants more space?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
We have argued a ton over the last few weeks, almost daily, I'm having trouble using the tools and looking the other direction and acting like the deception doesn't bother me. Her entire life revolves around "half truths" is what her therapist is calling her deception. She appears to be trying but seems half hearted at best and is refusing to go to our current counseler but will go to a new one. I'm thinking we need a female counselor so that she might open up about intimacy as all the counsellors are trying to get us to be intimate to help with reconnecting. She has refused to be intimate and is says things like " if I never had sex again it would be just fine with me ". I explained that I cannot live in a sexless marriage and it's not fair to ask me to do that. I asked how long she expects me to wait for her to figure this out and she set a two week time frame. I really have no idea what to do other than practice the tools and work on GAL. What happens at the end of two weeks when she says the same thing? .... Ideas or thoughts?
M44 H37 D13 S8 S6 Married 14 W is stay at home mom ILYBNIWY:9-28-14 A started 04/2014 OM confirm 11/24/2014 Admit PA 01/05/2015 09/11/2015 W file for D and wants the moon
Can any wives check in on the complete loss of all desire to be intimate. To me this just seems very unhealthy for her to be feeling this way?
Please help!
M44 H37 D13 S8 S6 Married 14 W is stay at home mom ILYBNIWY:9-28-14 A started 04/2014 OM confirm 11/24/2014 Admit PA 01/05/2015 09/11/2015 W file for D and wants the moon
Ok, update, OM seems to be out of the picture but she appears to be in the middle of a serious midlife crisis? Out of the blue she wants a career after always wanting to be a stay at home mom. She is obsessed with her appearance and is constantly in the mirror picking at her face. Thousands of dollars have been spent on creams and treatments for age spots and wrinkles, she is constantly asking me about her face asking if I see the wrinkles and sagging in her face. She is looking constantly on the internet about how to look younger than she is and how to better her appearance. I think this is all about her poor self image of herself. She is as beautiful as ever but all she sees in herself is aging, wrinkles, and sagging. Does all this sound consistent with a midlife crisis? I am continuing with GAL and working on myself trying my best to sick to the 37 rules. any advice or insight would be great!
She has also agreed to meet with a female counselor. This will be our 4th.
Last edited by Hurt06; 03/29/1506:18 PM.
M44 H37 D13 S8 S6 Married 14 W is stay at home mom ILYBNIWY:9-28-14 A started 04/2014 OM confirm 11/24/2014 Admit PA 01/05/2015 09/11/2015 W file for D and wants the moon
I travel for a living....is it ok to send a text once a day just to say "hope your having a good day" while DBing?
The whole almost silent treatment while I am traveling seems like I don't care. Usually she will text me first but this week she is not
M44 H37 D13 S8 S6 Married 14 W is stay at home mom ILYBNIWY:9-28-14 A started 04/2014 OM confirm 11/24/2014 Admit PA 01/05/2015 09/11/2015 W file for D and wants the moon
