Job- Of course if something is going on, it will come out eventually.
Bright- Yes I thought the same since we have the same cell phone and the only way I see a persons name is if they are in my contacts. As soon as I said something he put the phone in my face, (not directly but waving it in my face asking me to look)as soon as we got to restaurant he pulled up his contacts and told me to look at them,,
I wanted him to stop since I did not want s14 to over hear this conversation.
Later at home, after I run errands and had my apt,,as soon as I get home, H is wanting s14 and I to watch a movie with him,,,
Movie over, S14 goes to play xbox
I tell H IF I did not see the name, then I apologize ,,,but if it was my imagination then this is all too much if Im seeing this OW name and it was not there, that this is the end of the road for me, ,,
I told him if he is not able to be faithful in a R to me, that it is NOT ok for me, but if that is the life he chooses he needs to move on ASAP!!! I told him I was tired of not being in a R, with my emotional needs being met.
BUT I told him I'm not saying he is a bad person, just maybe not the person for me. Told him I getting very tried of this entire situation...
Now I said alll that,,,he did say again I did not see her name at all and he did not and she did not send a text...
then he went onto talking about things needing to be done around the house..like we just did not have the conversation about OW and text messages and me being done,,,like none of that just happened.
He also said this is why I work sooo much so I dont have to,,,and before he finished I told him whatever,,,if I need to say something Im going to say it.
OH well...he still talked about what we need to do about s14, and about things needed for the house, discussed our bills etc...
WOW,,,and WOW that I was able to continue on with the conversations without being overly emotional...
Have I also gone off my rocker,,,to be able to just tell him how I feel about even the possibility of OW, then go right back to talking about house, s14, bills, family,,,
Or just gotten better about controlling my emotions and not letting H's responses control my emotions,,,or oh hell,,,Im not even sure where I was going with this,,,oh hell Im going crazy
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Happy, You are not going crazy. Your h is a very smooth operator. I love the way he changed the subject and continue in that direction.
I wouldn't bring up that ow situation again. Whatever he/she is doing, it's keeping your focus on them and your h is enjoying this attention, be it positive or negative. You've stated how you felt, now let it be.
Let me say this one more time...you are not going crazy!
Continue moving forward and keep the focus on you and your son.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Job I have been surprised at even seeing H on his cell phone..around me. He also takes his calls on speaker now. So maybe I feel into a trap by even commenting on anything about his cell.
I have been really good at not asking questions. H
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
H is craftier then I thought I will have to be more careful.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Happy, They have a way of playing you to see if you've changed at all since they went into crisis. They test us frequently and it's to see if changes have taken place are permanent and if we are still there for them. The reactions tell them everything. You have to learn to keep your poker face on when around him and try not to react to his behavior or what he's talking about. They love it when we react to their behavior, be it positive or negative.
So, try not to react to his behavior...it's going to be hard, but the ow is nothing but a bug that you can squash in your mind. Step on her and kill those thoughts each and every time the appear. She nothing but a band aid and one that was attached poorly. Don't give either of them the satisfaction of seeing you sweat. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You are not crazy. I think I see things all the time even though I barely am around H. For example, last night H was showing me some pics and he tapped the screen which pulled up a string of pics across the bottom of his phone, but they were not full focus. I can swear I saw a pic of a couple of girls with long hair before he tapped them back off. It keeps playing on my mind. But the thing is, without being 100% sure of what we see it's wasted energy.
Try to put it out of your mind and keep the focus on you and not H.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
I was out running errands again today...H called me a million times..checking to see if Im still there...
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
S14 nor I are not in the mood for mandatory family night...we are both tired s14 has homework..and Im not sure why H insits on family night...now that sounds like I dont appreciate it...I do it just seems like H is going thru the motions...and maybe that is all he can do right now..
Made a big deal out of leaving his cell phone around me...I guess to show me he is not hiding his phone.
He works all the time then when he decides to be home he wants us at his beck and call.
and he is always preaching at s14..he needs to give some positive feedback..but I stay out ofthat as much as I can...
off to movie /dinner night
Last edited by 2BHappy; 02/23/1511:43 PM.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
So i decided to change the atmosphere tonight. Started to act silly with son and H. We laughed alot. H made a nice dinner of burger and fries homemade.
Watched TV for a little ....now a news segment came on about a community meeting... can you beleive one of the ladies speaking had the same name as OW...so I had some fun I said do you see that made H rewind and said is that her...he was like I don't know that woman...I have no idea if that was her...when I goggled and paid for reverse phone search etc...her last year there were several with same name in surrounding area.
Soo I continue messing with H and tell him that was my clue to go to bed..told him I would need a massage to get to sleep now...he followed me up to room so quick I got the massage ....
But dang couple days ago I thought I saw her name on his cell now seeing Lady with same name on TV...would be a trip if that was her...
Are these signs....wow
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
