As we move forward from here, I want to quote some lines from a song currently in my playlist:
"...I still fall on my face sometimes And I can't color inside the lines 'Cause I'm perfectly incomplete I'm still working on my masterpiece And I, I wanna hang with the greats Got a way to go, but it's worth the wait No, you haven't seen the best of me I'm still working on my masterpiece..."
-- "Masterpiece" by Jessie J
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
You got what it takes when your W returns back home. Enigmatic smile here and there. Then go about your business like you have some secret up your sleeve.
I think the title and the song that I am quoting from are so very appropriate for where I am right now, and where I will be for some time -- continually working on myself... on my masterpiece...
And I do believe you -- I do have what it takes even if I doubt myself at some moments. I am sure tonight will be challenging, but I can do this!
Onward and upward!
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
HER: "Hey - at airport. missed everyone. Can u keep the kids up until I get home assuming I'm on time?"
ME: "Will do."
HER: "Thanks much"
I didn't respond after that.
From the tone I can now assume that the same person that left is the same person coming home. I do not think she really meant me when she said "everyone." At least now I've got an idea of what to expect.
Okay -- I can do this... I can be strong and act "as if" when she gets home. I will say that we had a great week and half (which is true) and won't ask her anything about her trip because she'll be lying about everything anyway.
Putting on my armor now...
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
You might want to read up on the Validation Cheat Sheet a bit so you can stay neutral and non-committal. I like your plan about not asking W about her trip. What's the point? Only to reinforce the notion that it was okay to fly thousands of miles to met up with the OW. Blech!
I like your plan about not asking W about her trip. What's the point? Only to reinforce the notion that it was okay to fly thousands of miles to met up with the OW. Blech!
My thoughts exactly! Blech!
Working hard to stay strong.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
How about - "Hey. here's the kids, I've gotta run out for a bit"
Then go out, get a drink, or read a book, or hang out in a diner, or visit a friend. Be dressed up nice as you go. Don't come back until 2 a.m. Just let her wonder and turn her fantasy of everything being fine with Plan B on its head.
How about - "Hey. here's the kids, I've gotta run out for a bit"
Then go out, get a drink, or read a book, or hang out in a diner, or visit a friend. Be dressed up nice as you go. Don't come back until 2 a.m. Just let her wonder and turn her fantasy of everything being fine with Plan B on its head.
AWESOME IDEA!!!!!
LOL! You win the prize for helping laugh out loud today :-)
I do plan to look my best (for a "many errands to run" day) when she gets home... And I will be sure to let her know that everything was fine while she was gone. No, we did not all fall apart without her gone... and I'm not completely exhausted from taking care of all three kids on my own for 10 days in a row. I will NOT look tired or act tired or stressed out at all. :-)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Honestly, I really don't think she sees me as Plan B right now. Maybe she does and I'm just reading this all wrong, but I think right now she is thinking that she'd rather be alone if she can't be with OW... I could be wrong on that, but I don't think so...
But you what? I am worth SO much more than just being Plan B... If there is anything higher than Plan A -- that's me... She should consider me the ONLY option. If she doesn't then that's her loss and proof that she's in a complete fog :-)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
So she came home last night and was acting like her old self -- at least towards the kids. When we got around to talking about how the week went here at home I told her that it was great and we had no problems, no major incidents. She asked me a few times about it -- almost like she was surprised it went as well as it did.
After all of the kids were in bed I went to our room to watch TV and settle in for the night. She came in a little later to unpack her bags. When she was done and headed off downstairs she told me goodnight and then said "Thank you again" (for the trip). I just said "You're welcome" in a very unemotional voice and then she turned back to look at me as she opened the door -- i think she was trying to read the expression on my face. I just stared back with a blank look on my face. Not sure -- but turning around to look at me was odd because she hasn't been able to look me in the eye while saying goodnight for at least a couple of months.
After I got the kids off to school this morning, I came home and she was upstairs working out and getting ready for work. Curiosity got the better of me and I opened her computer bag to see what was inside. Found a bunch of love notes/cards from OW. In one card, OW signed it "Your GF" (Blech!) and another card was labelled "For the plane"... From the words written in that card it appears that they had a wonderful week together and that my W made OW feel "so loved and cherished" in every moment... Gag!
So it appears that the trip wasn't the disaster I had hoped... oh well...
Not sure what I'm feeling right now... odd mixture of mad, sad, and just "done" with her. I'll get over this, it just stings right now.
I'm glad that I at least have been able to be civil and to not show much reaction to her words or behavior. And I've also not asked her about the trip so I hope it appears to her that I'm not concerned about it at all.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
