When changing over from "Member" to "DB Ambassador" under the screenname, may I suggest magenta pink color to differentiate from forum mods and DB Center Staff? (and just to mess around with Cadet as well)
Great work all.....I can tell you that I appreciated reading all the threads Cadet added to the welcome post. I read them all long before I even signed up on the forum. I agree that newcomers will all appreciate them too.
Newcomers are searching and often have been lurking reading posts before signing up. I was like a sponge.....I read as much as I could.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
I have more suggestions. Seeing how the WAS discovers the DB site after looking up search histories, it all blows up for the poster. We've seen this several times over the past several years with the the most recent one over this past weekend. We would want to avoid this at all costs.
To address this problem, I'd like to suggest that you update the welcome greeting for BOTH MLC and Newcomers to include the following comments:
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Maybe in a second post immediately after the greeting....this way it will not be "too much." I feel very strongly about this and I do think it should be included in the first (or first two) welcome post.
I am sure it wasn't fun for you at all when your XW discovered this and even used it in Court! How crazy was that??
This just validates the importance of including those comments in the greetings and prevent those TWO VERY COMMON mistakes from the VERY beginning.
Cadet, I agree...we don't want to overwhelm them with a welcome thread with tons of info. I think it would be best to have a separate posting about sharing info w/their spouses, i.e., such as DB and DR. When people first come to many of the forums, they are reading the stories and then some circle back and read the resources that are there for them as tools.
Keep the Welcome Threads simple, but yet, informative. If you continue to add to the Welcome Threads, they will eventually be 4 pages longs and people will not be interested in reading them until months down the road.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
