Ok. I still feel somewhat afraid to bring it up with her. She hasn't discussed our relationship with me since our last MC session. We've just been going about our lives.
Don't bring up your relationship. In what ways have you changed?
As far as changes go: I'm more diligent about house cleaning and repairs. Before,she'd handle most of that. I'm taking more initiative when it come to the kids activities. I haven't looked at porn. I make eye contact when she or anyone else talks to me. I notice that it has an impact on most people I interact with. I only contact her when it is necessary. I make myself scarce when we are both home. I don't expect her to cook on her days off. Keep in mind, I normally cook.
I'm sure there's more, but this is what i am consciously doing.
Did you actually pick up a copy of the books yet? You're doing alot of mistakes that are detailed in there and it's not fair that you expect people to spoon-feed you answers.
We all did the work and studied the books. It's how you know what the right path to take is.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Quote: As per the rules, I cannot discuss this with her until she is ready. But it is something I have been thinking about.
Huh?
Is this the rule you were thinking about?
20. All questions about marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while) so this takes patient on your behalf.
This rule was to encourage newcomers who want to flood their WAS with a zillion relationship questions about their M to hold back and wait for her to be ready to discuss things. It was not intended to include important information about your children and where they will be moving. As a father you have as much right to your children as the mother does. That includes knowing when & where she plans to move with them.
Therefore, get the information you need as calmly as possible. I think you need to protect you finances, property, college funds, and any other accounts from her being able to get her hands on it, and......don't be free in what you tell her in advance. I think you really need legal representation.
Btw, do you live in a "no fault" divorce state?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
