rd, from what you've said there is no way that OM is better than you. Just NO WAY. So don't even go there. I'm curious why you would send her a Valentine's card? It that kosher with DBing? Not that it matters necessarily, I'm just wondering what you hoped it might accomplish. Happy Valentine's Day to you!
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Hi Ahoy. Thanks for posting. OM Iis better than me in Ws eyes anyway , which is tough.
The Valentine card was a couple of reasons firstly I'm trying to be the best person I can be and W is still denying OM and L/C is advising me to not chase but treat W as I would have. 2nd reason I get my two Ds Valentine cards and D14 was staying with W last night so I had to ask W to put card on her pillow this am and I didn't want to ignore the day re W. 2 x 4s for this but I think W is very lost and I want to try everything to maybe have an R with her in the future until OM is admitted to. I stick to the 37 rules 99.9% and I think I might even have made W feel there is no way back Either way it's done now so I can only move forward The card was a funny one and I put a funny lyric inside with no romantic overtures ('while I do realise it was a valentines card ). I also think W is gone now 4'months and she is obviously not coming home anytime soon
Sad today and would love to have my old W back. Sigh. Self pity train. Rd first class ticket.
Now then, about this OM thing. I don't like this talk of him being better than you - because RD is fab! Your W isn't making great choices right now - a reflection of her general fragile state of mind at the moment. OM is one of those not so great choices. When people get involved with OPs, they normally 'trade down' from their S.
When they seek an OP, they go for an expedient person. One who is 'there' and is willing to become involved with someone who is already M. You tend to attract someone of a similar state of emotional health to you - so WAS - who are not emotionally healthy right now - attract others in a similar place.
Well, we survived V Day in any case.....another 'first' ticked off the list..
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Thanks Toots Just a bit of an update. Kids and I watched Back to the future 3 last night W text about 8.45pm to ask how everyone was. And this morning W called into see kids at 8.45am on her way to work. I'm obviously no expert but W seems to be finally grasping ow now much kids are hurting I still think she is determined re M but at least abit of reality is sinking in re kids Kids and I did a it of housework today. Where does the washing come from ? I almost need two washing machines !!!! Anyway. Roast beef almost ready and plenty of nazi zombies to kill and monopoly after roast I think I'll make someone a great husband one day , OH WAIT A MINUTE , NO I DIDNT !!!!!
Back to third class class on pity train and I got off once or twice while food shopping with D14
Hi Vanillia, thank you for posting. re the nazi zombies , its an xbox game thats been around a few years and myself and S16 otry to reach a high score every couple of weeks.
I am standing for my M. I sometimes feel foolish as W has chosen to leave and then sometimes I want to try everything to make M work for W, myself and my children, (not sure what order).
It's very tough and I wish I had your strength of character.
I want to try everything to make M work for W, myself and my children, (not sure what order).
RD, I'm going to press you a little here. What order? Think about why you are doing what you are doing.
I have based a lot of actions on my kids. I didn't want them to know, I didn't want H to move out. Because I thought that was best for my kids. (It didn't work out the way I wanted, obviously.) Lately, I hae considered that even if H were to beg to come home, I can't guarantee he'd stay and......you guessed it......him leaving twice would be devastating to my kids. So that would be reason enough to say no. Where do I fit into all this? I'm not sure. Where do you fit in, RD?
Hi Rppfl. Re the order it's quite difficult , one of my big mistakes I made in my marriage was to put the kids first and foremost , way above W. I took W for granted and didn't put enough value on her as a person
As I have said before I am very lucky in my sitch that W left and I have everything except W.
W treats me well, no real spew anymore , no talk of OM and she doesn't really include me in her life in as far as giving me hope.
I suppose at the moment I would like R with W for my children , after that I would like an R with W for me as I do love the woman I married and spent the last 25 years with Lastly I would like a. R for W as I think we got lost over the last 5 years and I would love to have an M that we both deserve and should have had. Over the last 9 months I ha e improved as a person and a father and I believe this would make me a good H
As you say Rppfl, I'm not sure if W came back if things would work out as so much has happened and we went from been so close to where we are now
My L/C is a really positive person and when I'm with her all is possible but when I'm alone or interact with W , I think I see that it's over. Plenty of positive signs but nothing concrete. W calls a lot and shares her sadness over her choices but I believe that's just because she is comfortable with me after all the years together
I'm seeing L/C this week and I'm hoping she can bring back some positivity back as I seem to have lost focus recently.
I hate to mind read but W seems determined in her choices no matter how much upset she portrays
Thanks for the question Rppfl as I tend to look at things in black and white and don't often look past that W is gone and that's that.
