Well done with the kidney test RD! Remember not to be too available to your W when she comes around.....It would be lovely if she came around one time and you were out with a GAL plan...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Thanks Rppfl. And now some journallling, three calls fromW yesterday , nothing major just her chatting about D13s birthday and how she feels bad because she is going to D13s meal but didn't go to S16s. I said its in the past and we will be having a good enough time that S16' will be ok. W then told me that S16s gave her a card for her birthday but didn't sign it and it really upset her. I explained that S16 was taking her leaving hard and is using anger and hurt as his way of showing it. W agreed
I got home last night and W was there ( W stays in home on weds) and she was very chatty about her work and family. She was also very grateful for her birthday gift and asked me to sit down and look at family pictures with her which I did.
W and I got D13s presents ready for this morning and W went off to bed This am, D (now ) 14 had a great time and got all the presents she asked for. I was getting them ready to leave for school and W asked if I was going to L/C , I said no but if she wanted to go next week re kids we could. W declined because she is working all next week bar Thursday (L/C day ) she added that she was happy to go another time. As I was walking towards front door to leave she said that she was not looking forward to working every day next week ( usually 3 days ) and added that she never realised the life of luxury and ease that she had for the last 20 years !!!!! I resisted the truth dart and took kids to school. Family dinner at Eddie rockets tonight , so I am looking forward to that
It's very tough when we are together as a family as its so normal and its easy to think we could go back to how we were ( the good times ) Oh well. I suppose it's better to be this way than at each other's throats.
It's very tough when we are together as a family as its so normal and its easy to think we could go back to how we were ( the good times ) Oh well. I suppose it's better to be this way than at each other's throats.
RD, I rolled around in this for seven months between BD and S. We'd spend every weekend together as a family and every Monday I'd question how on earth H could ever want to leave this? How could he give up these special moments with his children? But he did. And I really don't know how he goes to sleep every night. WASs have a different mindset than you and I do.
I agree. It's hard to see what WAS is giving up....and seemingly without much regret in many cases (eg: mine!) RD, I have been quoting your stars and planets analogy elsewhere on the forum. I also would like to hear from Pink....Pink, please post and let us know how you are - I'm missing you!
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Thanks Toots m not a good day today. We went out for D14 birthday meal and had an ok time. Plenty of laughs but something missing Got home and D14 asked W to stay W said no and a big argument ensued. W left and called me a while later saying she couldn't handle the situation and just wanted to run away.
Two texs and a call this am from W to say sorry. I had to keep D14 out of school because of how upset she was.
Seems to be getting worse and I'm no t sure how much more kids can take
I will post more later but W seems all over the place re kids
Really sorry to hear that RD. That's a shame for D14 on her birthday....and tough all round for the family.
Your W seems to not want to be a parent, but be a parent still - and it's no wonder your kids are struggling with the changes. Without looking back in your sitch - are they getting any external input or support at all? It may be an option if things are difficult.
Incidentally, have you read any of the MLC books by Jim or Sally Conway? I'm reading Men in Midlife Crisis at the moment, and it's certainly very interesting. There are many themes in there that apply to your W's behaviour.
Post later RD and let us know if we can help more. Take care x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Reality may bite even harder if W sees OM for who he really is. A drunken compulsive.
V
RD important as follows
1. W is checking in with SIL 2. SIL would take action if there is deterioration 3. SIL view remains unchanged 4. W trusts SIL and SIL is comfortable with you
Great news on kidney function tests, really pleased.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 02/13/1511:49 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thanks Toots and Vanilla Vanillia , thanks for the clarification. I do agree but at the same time I have to remember that W is now with someone else and even though I still care as has decided that she doesn't need my help anymore.
Got W a bit of a joke valentines card and she sent a hoppy Valentine's Day text this morning. She is here now a she was just crying over D14 /and spoiling D14s birthday again. So hard to see her today. I am carrying on as always and chatty but not starting convs or the like but she is clearly gone I am much better overall due to L/C and DBing + time but it still hurts and brings back all the feelings of 'what's wrong with me" and why is OM so much better than me.
Oh well this is my life and more L/C , DBing and time will make me stronger. ( ai really really hope ! ).
