She told me if I move out, she promises she will participate in "shared custody" Up here in Ontario, it basically means, each parent has the children an equal amount of time each month. She wants me to spend as much time with the kids as possible. (Interesting considering today I'm World's Biggest A$$hole).
Keeps you "on the hook". Plus it keeps you in her reach, so she will be able to communicate with you. She gets to do her side stuff with OM(s) often enough, and split it up so that it's cleanly done within the system.
You think she's got anything positive or "what have I done?" thinking going on in her head (I know, its mindreading) or just seething with anger right now. Don't these wives think?
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
You think she's got anything positive or "what have I done?" thinking going on in her head (I know, its mindreading) or just seething with anger right now.
Sure. She probably waffles back and forth a dozen times a day.
Quote:
Don't these wives think?
Not rationally if they're in an A. It's all emotionally driven, with anger, resentment and entitlement thrown in. Add in any addictive aspects fueled by the A and you're looking at a mess. Don't expect much.
And it can go on for months and will drive YOU insane if you let it.
So Starsky's hinted a few times now... What is YOUR plan to detach from the crazy train so that you can deal with this objectively over the long term and have the best chance of coming through this in better shape than when you arrived?
All I can do is be gone..out trying to better myself, finish the police dept testing process, enjoy the company of other people, go to work, hit the gym. Im not intending on leaving the house, even tho for her it would set her up well (my lawyer told me NOT to leave), and spend time with my kids being a dad. Upon the verbal assaults, react calmly, and yet, put money aside in case something unexpected happens.
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
I was talking quietly to my son this morning. He didn't speak to her, so, of course, after dropping him off at school, she wants to know what I said that "made" him ignore her. While she was talking, I got 2 texts...she noticed. My youngest was downstairs, she told him to leave, he took my phone with him. Next thing I know she's checking my phone and in my face wanting to know who and why I'm talking to someone. I tried something I thought was appropriate, and said something like "at this point do you seriously think I need to give you answers to your questions?"...set her off even more
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
Mac00, hang in there. I remember my W picking up my phone and going through it in front of my face. I politely asked her what she thought she was doing and since I had looked at hers to verify the PA, she said turnabout was fair play. I smiled and said since I have nothing to hide, enjoy looking at my phone. She handed it back. I still haven't put a password protection on it as I truly have nothing to hide.
Me:39 W:33 Married 6/07 D6 Found out about affair 9/14
During her spew, she told me she thought I have a lawyer and was going to start the divorce process, and would be the one leaving the house. I calmly told her I had a lawyer, yes, so I knew my legal rights and obligations, but I had no intent on filing for or paying for a divorce that I never wanted. She freaked and says now SHE'S $%&#@+- stressed over 'what I'm doing' and that I'm hurting the kids by making her be the one to file and find a place to live, away from a house their comfortable in. (I guess dad is suppose to accept the A, find a place to rent, pack, move, find money to buy furniture, ect.) Then she tells me she's been planning to leave since June/July, followed by "I don't have a plan to deal with this...at least I confirm my own thoughts, she had no intent to leave, until she got caught. She even said, that yes, if I didn't find out, she'd still be pretending we're good until her plan was ready...like I said tho, there was no plan. Got caught, now freaking out.
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
I guess , even with how WAY out of control the switch was at home this morning, I'm surprised she still HAD to check. Nothing to hide here either. And honestly, I'm happy she did, even in this chaos right now, its a good sign.
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
