I think it looks great, Cadet! We can always update and edit as we go, sort of like "Sandi's Rules" have been refined over the years. I say go with it.
Oh, and "ditto" what Train said about the "pursuit/distance" thing. I was going to also recommend that Coach's excellent "Boundaries" thread be included, but now that Wonka has incorporated it into hers, we're covered there.
Only other suggestion I would add is -- where you tell them that they're on moderation and to post short posts, and frequently, something like "especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions, and posting on other people's threads -- people will come!"
Thanks for your input(Starsky, Job, Edz, Train) - I have redone this below taking in all your input. If you have any changes in the future please post them here. One of my concerns is also following the DB TOS, and sometimes that is not clear cut to me!
NEWCOMERS FORUM
Welcome to the board
Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Thank you Cadet, for the time that you spend putting this together, and posting to virtually every new face that arrives in pain and confusion. You have calmed many, and made an impact on the lives of many.
I second that! There is so much valuable information here, and when you are in a state of desperation and panic, it is wonderful to have key resources laid out for you to reference.
I feel that it helps to revisit those links throughout the process. Some things click or make sense at different stages of this life changing journey.
You all have been so amazing and wonderful. It has impacted my life in a way I couldn't have imagined.
Thank you and everyone here who contributes, I know it goes without saying how much pain and suffering the people who sacrific their time to help others here have relieved. Its an amazing collection of ... well .. just good solid people who have gone through the pain so they know ... I am, and will forever be grateful for this forum.
The links are amazing, being able to find them easily is so huge ... I know for me I have read them early on .. and stumble across them and read them again the message changes for me, I am sure its that way with others as they go through the journey and things are less emotional and turn more logical.
To answer Wonka's question about DR vs. DB...basically Divorce Remedy is an updated and tweaked version of Divorce Busting.
The major difference is how to use and what exactly LRT is. And that can and has presented problems in the past between vets and newcomers, as they arent always talking about the same thing.
Personally, I liked the original better.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
To answer Wonka's question about DR vs. DB...basically Divorce Remedy is an updated and tweaked version of Divorce Busting.
The major difference is how to use and what exactly LRT is. And that can and has presented problems in the past between vets and newcomers, as they arent always talking about the same thing.
Personally, I liked the original better.
Any suggestions on what should be recommended for this welcome post?
