Do not send her anything. It is just pursuing. She wont care what you send her. Only what OM does. hard to face but we all know its true. Hard times at the minute with Val day plastered everywhere. Just ignore, switch TV channels, turn radio off. On the drinking, I went out with my mates last weekend. I didn't have too much and was good to be out. I couldn't go out and get plastered though. I couldn't deal with the hangover on top of what I'm already feeling.
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
Do not send her anything. It is just pursuing. She wont care what you send her. Only what OM does. hard to face but we all know its true. Hard times at the minute with Val day plastered everywhere. Just ignore, switch TV channels, turn radio off. On the drinking, I went out with my mates last weekend. I didn't have too much and was good to be out. I couldn't go out and get plastered though. I couldn't deal with the hangover on top of what I'm already feeling.
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
Most times, pride/ego is something that stands in our way. In THIS case, it's good to use it to help you.
Picture this: Your W is in LaLa Land with OM. She knows. You know. She knows you know. Valentine's Day rolls around. You send her flowers, candy, a card or balloons. Think about how she'd perceive you: she's receiving gifts from her HUSBAND - the man she vowed before God she'd "forsake all others" for - and he KNOWS she's having an A with OM - and he's still sitting around thinking of her on Valentine's Day, spending money on her on the "day for lovers" ...
C'mon, Rysin. Of course you know better. Not to be too vulgar here, but you might as well wrap your testicles in pink tissue paper and give them to her.
No way, partner.
Strength and honor. Say it with me: Strength and honor.
What have you been doing lately to GAL?
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Most times, pride/ego is something that stands in our way. In THIS case, it's good to use it to help you.
Picture this: Your W is in LaLa Land with OM. She knows. You know. She knows you know. Valentine's Day rolls around. You send her flowers, candy, a card or balloons. Think about how she'd perceive you: she's receiving gifts from her HUSBAND - the man she vowed before God she'd "forsake all others" for - and he KNOWS she's having an A with OM - and he's still sitting around thinking of her on Valentine's Day, spending money on her on the "day for lovers" ...
C'mon, Rysin. Of course you know better. Not to be too vulgar here, but you might as well wrap your testicles in pink tissue paper and give them to her.
No way, partner.
Strength and honor. Say it with me: Strength and honor.
What have you been doing lately to GAL?
If you want to know how your wife perceives this kind of pursuit and supplication, just re-read Train's wise words over and over and over again. SHE'S A GIRL!!!! lol
Thanks again train. I didn't plan on sending anything, those were just my thoughts running wild. I have not done too much lately with the death in the family and all. And school is kicking me in my testicles as we speak lol. I am starting the gym again and hope to get my AOW scuba cert. This month. Just started reading the book yesterday so I have a few things I need to do.
On a second note I was a little upset at W yesterday. She returned home from her school trip around 930pm. Arrived in a taxi. Didn't even come to the door didn't send me a text nothing just looked at the house for a little while and got in the car and left. Not sure why it angered me but it did.I know I should not expect anything less. But sometimes I just can't help it. Anyhow time to hit the gym.
Talked to father inlaw today. He said he talked to W and she told him I'm not the same person anymore since returning from deployment. And she doesn't know who I am anymore. He told her that it's not true I am still that same person but she has completely closed me off during this whole ordeal. From my side I think I have changed, hell I come home to who is supposed to be the love of my life and best friend to find out she loves someone else and has been sleeping with him for a month. Ummmm of course I have changed. What a stupid statement. It's gotta be something for her to just validate her actions even more.
Talked to father inlaw today. He said he talked to W and she told him I'm not the same person anymore since returning from deployment. And she doesn't know who I am anymore. He told her that it's not true I am still that same person but she has completely closed me off during this whole ordeal. From my side I think I have changed, hell I come home to who is supposed to be the love of my life and best friend to find out she loves someone else and has been sleeping with him for a month. Ummmm of course I have changed. What a stupid statement. It's gotta be something for her to just validate her actions even more.
Yes. The sh!t that comes out of their mouths is absolutely asinine.
If it helps, Rysin, my H - who has been home about 10 months - talks to this day about the things he said to justify his actions/behavior while he was wayward. We were in a discussion about it just this past weekend. It's like he now sees the same "alien abduction" that I did while he was wayward. He just doesn't even understand how he was "there" now. But he consistently says that he said everything he did to make himself look better and more justified ... because he KNEW, even then, that he was completely in the wrong.
You're smart not to accept the blame W throws on you right now while she's in this mode. If she ever blames you for something and it STINGS you, *then* you'll know there's some merit to her complaint. Otherwise, let it be like water on a duck's back. She knows what she's doing, and she's simply trying to deflect blame. Anyone who knows she's in an A also knows exactly what she's doing. She's fooling no one ... not even herself.
And let me just put it out there re: Valentine's Day ...
If you are mysteriously absent from your W that day, she's going to notice. It'll send a much stronger - and more effective message - than any chocolate-covered cherry or vase of roses. Keep plugging away, and don't expect "results" overnight, okay? Marathon. Not a sprint. You're doing great.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
lol
