And just to round it off because it always entertains me - I got ID'd in the supermarket. The look I get when some asks if i'm over 18 and i produce ID that says i'm 34 is always priceless.
There's one store here that always cards. I could be Betty White and they'd still card me. But it's fun every time.
Morning Jim - interesting reading about your interaction with W last night. Gosh, she seems so full of anger - and barely able to be civil. What popped into my mind is that hatred isn't the opposite of love - indifference is. She certainly isn't indifferent is she?
And, it's funny that she is so angry with you when she is the one who has been unfaithful. Without reading back through your sitch, did she just feel that her infidelity was justified because of how you guys were interacting? Were you faithful during the M? (if you don't mind me asking?)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Yes I was faithful during the marriage though I'll admit for a few months about a year ago I found myself wondering if I'd be happier elsewhere as I didn't feel like the relationship was really working for me (wife just didn't seem to be able to find joy in anything). I wish I'd acted on it then.
She says OM1 has nothing to do with the breakup and that its because she was so miserable and that my 'bullying, controlling and abusive' behaviour is what made her miserable. I don't agree I was even in that ball park but at the same time a lot of my behaviour wasn't great (basically I sulked a lot) - so I do agree that OM1 was a catalyst rather than cause.
She seems really angry at me but I'd be guessing why, I suspect a combination of things and money being a massive one given what SIL has said. I doubt she even fully knows but she knows whatever it is is my fault.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
I personally hold YOU responsible for the followings:
1. The world economy 2. The bad weather 3. My toothache 4. The fact I ate cheese to day 5. That you had emotions 6. That you did not cheat on W 7. That you have 100 things you like about yourself 8. That W cheated on you 9. Everything, everywhere at any time
And it make me very upset that you are super DBer. How dare you look after your own interests, try wine and go GAL.
Immediately go away and be very miserable waiting for W crumbs.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
To be honest I think you hit the nail on the head with no.9 there, if you add the words 'not perfect'
I just want to issue a brief clarification to my earlier post, what I wish I had acted on was my unhappiness in a way to improve my marriage. For a start by reading some of the books that now festoon my house. Realise it could be read very differently.
And I just want to say its been one if the best 'daddy days' ever. I've had a brilliant day with the kids even if the canvas handprint session got a little fraught.
Really tired now though
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Glad you and the kids had a good day. Sounds like you now have some great canvases to put up! H did his canvases with SS before I met them, but I must admit I still love those little fingers and toes you can make out, even though SS towers over me and has a deep voice now!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Glad the canvasses worked out mate, have a good rest this evening
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
I've just done the handover of children with my wife and it just feel like an ordeal. My stress levels just shot up
good stuff first. I had another lovely day with the kids. Swimming was cancelled which meant i had both for longer. We made and decorated a 3ft space rocket out of card, read some stories, chased around a bit, made blueberry muffins. a good but average day.
Less good next. I had a couple of big disagreements with D3 (she wouldnt get changed, refused to listen, tried to walk off then hit me. I still find it hard not to get cross in those circumstances even though i know it doesnt help and so I got a little shouty (Not yelling but loud and stern) and ended up carrying her to her bedroom for a time out.
and the bad..... the handover. I dont necessarily think i did anything wrong though wife was cross when she arrived and stood awkwardly in the hall while i got the kids together. I said she could come in and she said she didnt want to. she asked me if id got the bits she wanted sorted - I hadnt because i hadnt seen the text she sent earlier this afternoon asking me, but i doubt she believed me, still it only took about 3 minutes. Generally she had the same attitude as friday. Total handover time was maybe 10 minutes.
I said goodbye to the kids and told them I'd had a lovely weekend and was looking forward to tuesday when i pick them up.
Throughout, I could feel my stress rising partly because its always stressful when the you try and get two tired under 5s out the front door, partly because of the circumstances and partly because of my STBXW attitude.
possible/probable mistakes on my part, - I said to W it was nice to see her and i hope she has a nice week. she at best grunted in response - I said 'SIL has sent me a letter which i'd like to talk to you about at some point but its not urgent' she replied by saying she knew SIL was going to but didnt know what she was going to say.
I'm not sure i want to know but i do wonder what indifference would look like. I wonder if i'm misreading absence of love as anger and hate. She isnt saying nasty things she just simply wont engage on any level and is avoiding any small talk to avoid me getting hopes up.
suffice to say this is still affecting me way more than i should let it.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
