rpp, I'd NEVER, EVER date someone my daughter's age. I wouldn't even have a one night stand with anyone in that age range. (My personal sliding scale goes 12 years, so for me, that makes 40-41--my birthday is coming up ). But I can promise you that I sure as heck can appreciate a beautiful specimen who is a peer of my D20. I'd even go so far as to say I'd allow a fantasy that includes one. But to make that a reality? Hell, no! Gross!
But when it comes down to good old fashioned dating, I want someone around my age, give or take a few years. Sliding scale can come into play if I meet a truly fantastic and mature 45 year old. I'm keeping open about that. Don't start making excuses to cover fear! Besides, you're not D yet, so why put that cart before the horse? Get through that crapola and *then* you can see if there are any candidates out there that interest you. If one appears, let him audition for you. Like Maybell with her church guy. He's auditioning, and it's not a lock that he's right for the part.
Back to basics, friend. Rein back on those expectations. All you need to do is act the way that makes YOU feel good. Period. His jerkiness is not a reflection of you. Got it?
Hugs-Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Bets, I don't actually have any expectations regarding dating, it was just a dream. I can't control those LOl. In reality the whole thing probably came from a sweet young piece of bartender eye candy that I was enjoying on Saturday. Just my brain cleaning and purging.
I saw my IC today and will update later when I don't have to do it from my phone.
Finally getting a chance to update on IC session. We spent a good chunk of it going over the time around my surgery, how H transformed into BFF and how that was OK with me. IC commented that H is a good friend and will make a good X. And I think she's probably right. Better than a bad X. And we talked about the booty calls, and how I didn't know what they were all about. And that I don't really care what they were all about, as I have no intention of taking him up on them.
And we spent the rest of the time talking about my job, or lack thereof, how it was something that needed to be done but the timing seems unfortunate. What type of job I might want to do, how accounting/finance in the obvious choice, but that I have gained a lot of skills in a lot of other areas in the past 12 years. She gave me some suggestions to think about.
And for the first time since I've been going to her, I didn't cry. Didn't even tear up. I consider that a milestone.
Oh, Channing Tatum. I hadn't even imagined that high up. I'll have sweet dreams tonight. You know, he's 34, which by the 12 year over/under rule makes him in range, if only he weren't married.
RPP, the day I went to IC and didn't cry made me SO HAPPY. (Of course that was also the second to last day I ever *went* to IC, but as they say... that's another story).
You are amazing. You got here so much faster than me. Well done.
Oh, and sweet dreams.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Oh, Channing Tatum. I hadn't even imagined that high up.
LOL, Maybell. I said on RD's thread the other day that I'm not one to drool over movie stars. And it's true. But that boy is fine.
I just found out that one of the secretaries on the school side has been living apart from her H for two years. I didn't know. There's an OW, and I understood every word of how she felt about still having feelings for H, how he spends a lot of time with her, but runs off to OW when he needs a fix. I understood her frustration with having to live in a teeny apartment with her S while her H lives in a teenier apartment by himself, when the rents combined could get them something nice for all of them.
Channing sure is eye candy, isn't he? He's one of the select few that my D20 and I both go gaga over. When Magic Mike came out, you can bet we were first in line. Sad plot, but more eye candy. If she's around when the next one comes out, I'm sure we'll have to see that too. Part of our civic duty. BTW, she's got an eye for eye candy my age. We both are gaga over Jon Bon Jovi as well. So it feels good to have a generational companion for universal male appreciation.
Well, the OW fills a "need" just like a drug addict gets his fix. He's addicted to how he feels when he's with her. I'm not sure I'd give anyone more than 2 years if that nonsense continued to be part of the equation. I'd definitely not be sleeping with him. I never have been attracted to guys who sleep around, for any reason.
My D17 and I started a water workout class at the gym last night. The instructor got in the pool and came over to a couple women who had been chatting up with me and D17 and told us that before class, she found a note at home after work from her H telling her he was leaving, and he'd be in touch through a lawyer and not to contact him because it would upset OW. We were all a little amazed at her. She was pissed, but focused. And her middle school aged boy seemed... happy. Afterward, we congratulated her for sticking through a workout with 43 people, and she just said, "I had a feeling that something was wrong. He'd go from not speaking to me much to being sicky sweet. But I'll tell you that I take a back seat to no other woman, and if I'm not #1, I don't want him either. I'm no dog that wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me." And it was a good workout, so no complaints about her being unfocused. Kind of amazing, actually. I was a wreck when my XH left. There is no way I was focused enough to do anything other than sign checks.
Onward and upward. That's all we can do.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
<------ Wipes the drool off the DB message boards.....
I don't get the Tatum thing. Just because hes rich, talented, successful, good looking, ripped, and has a full head of hair is no reason to lust after him :-)
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
). But I can promise you that I sure as heck can appreciate a beautiful specimen who is a peer of my D20. I'd even go so far as to say I'd allow a fantasy that includes one. 
But to make that a reality? Hell, no! Gross!
You know, he's 34, which by the 12 year over/under rule makes him in range, if only he weren't married.