mmm see now originally my fb was plain broken then when I started GALing I put a whole new pic etc up about a month in it all got too much and I put the account on temporary hold and left it a couple of weeks this was because I thought I'd do something or post something that would land me in trouble.
Really the question is do you want to know what your w is posting? My w and I are (at least today...who knows by tomorrow) friends on fb and Ive no intention of changing that but mostly she's posting stuff about her day with our s or plans with friends. Sometimes its useful sometimes its hurtful. Over christmas she posted tree pics with s which hurt but I realised I did exactly the same albeit not in our old place with the decorations we hung together for over a decade. She's posted how much she misses s when Ive had him for one night after he's been there a week and so on.
So really, do you want to know? I can tell you I know bits that I didnt ask to know and that w hasnt told me (I did not snoop) and its causing me a lot of trouble right now.
If you do (and I defer to vets if this is slipping into pursuing) then keep it simple and lose the 180 description "The other day I blocked you on Facebook, I'm sorry about that and would be very happy to reconnect with you".
I'm not the best at messaging and have felt the wrath of the 2x4 STFU plank so you may want to wait what others say.
Keep going mate.
Last edited by edz; 01/29/1504:43 PM.
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
I have a bit of a thing about the hurt and damage that seeing things on social media does in these sitches. I don't use FB or similar myself. IMO, it may be best just to leave it for now and focus on your GAL plan and moving forwards yourself.
T :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi guys. Before I blocked her, I had unfollowed her which of course means that I her posts didn't show up on my timeline but mine did on hers. And she didn't know this.
She doesn't post much on facebook, all her skullduggery is via text, so I didn't see anythng of hers.
I do post on facebook, and most of my posts are upbeat, trying to sho myself in a good light and she can see these and has even commented on one or two (which do come through).
I'm thinking, the longer you leave something like this, the harder it is to get back.
I'm sure about mentioning passive aggression. It is something I suffer from and she is all too aware of it. I'd like to make it clear, maybe without mentioning it though, that I can see these sort of things happening now and taking steps to right them if not nip it in the bud straight away.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
OK OK. Just to ward off a double dog dare waxing, here is a list of GAL activities.
Keep in touch with friends Take guitar or piano lessons Play music Listen to music Go to gigs Go to the cinema / museum / art gallery / football Find a martial arts or yoga class (my old yoga class finished) Continue going to mindfullness class Engage with others on Facebook, Twitter etc Check out Landmark Check out the Mankind Project Read books that aren't to do with relationships etc See if there's a cookery course I can go on
The moustache went on December 1st. I raised �122 and managed to not look like a perv: more like a stereotypical Mexican from a cowboy film. In fact some even liked it.
The open mic thing. Hmmm, yes. Too frightened to do it on my own if the truth be told. Maybe one day. I'd like to do it with others first. I can see myself singing and playing but I think it'll take a little while.
And one other thing. Sleep. It's 5am and I've been awake for 2 hours thinking about arranging a marriage counsellor session (solutions based of course) and saying I going, would you like to come too.
Last edited by Old Dog; 01/30/1505:10 AM.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
OK OK. Just to ward off a double dog dare waxing, here is a list of GAL activities.
Keep in touch with friends go for coffee or a beer Take guitar or piano lessons next Thursday Play music in a band Listen to music in a church or appreciation group Go to gigs once a month on a Saturday starting this week Go to the cinema / museum / art gallery / football every week with X and Y Find a martial arts or yoga class (my old yoga class finished) starting next week Continue going to mindfullness class Engage with others on Facebook, Twitter etc only counts if activity booked involvement next month with Landmark involvement in the the Mankind Project Read books in a book club that aren't to do with relationships etc See if there's a cookery course I can go on book and attend
The open mic thing. Hmmm, yes. Too frightened to do it on my own if the truth be told. Old Dog sieze the day. A 180 on this, it is only fearful the first time. Something to discuss with your IC I feel
Maybe one day next week. I'd like to do it with others first. that is perfect GAL maximum GAL points if you do
I can see myself singing and playing but I think it'll take a little while. Go feel the fear and do it anyway
RD this is a good list and I would like specific GAL activities and dates and times.
GAL requires third party involvement so reading would count at a book club. Check out only counts if you go somewhere and participate. You actually need to go on the cookery course for it to get GAL points Contact with friends counts if you meet for coffee but sending an email, nah GAL with your kids counts too, RD gets some GAL with his cinema evenings
RD you love music, live music is everywhere in the UK, there would be a good regular meet up with friends. V has a regular orange Wednesday at the cinema with a friend.
Old Dog keep the IC for you, MC with a wayward is ineffective. No doubt others will chip in on this.
Baby steps to giant leaps, you will be glad you did
Last edited by Vanilla; 01/30/1508:40 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
The open mic thing. Hmmm, yes. Too frightened to do it on my own if the truth be told. ... It's 5am and I've been awake for 2 hours thinking about arranging a marriage counsellor session (solutions based of course) and saying I going, would you like to come too.
Two things: 1. Feel the fear and do it anyway 2. No to MC. Been there done that with a WAH (didn't realise he was a WAH at the time). Looking back I feel that she was the enabler who helped my confused H move out.
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Great suggestions V on how to make that GAL list more SMART.
I did want to challenge you on the above though. Surely if OD went bungy jumping or took up diving or developed a fondness for say macrame then those would count as GAL? Besides which, I think there needs to be some allowances for introverts*. Maybe even a weighted score? +1 for extroverts doing GAL with third party, +1.2 for introverts doing GAL with third party?
(Not saying you're an introvert OD, just coming to the defence of introverts everywhere)
* includes extroverts with social anxiety and extroverted introverts
Last edited by ganb8te; 01/30/1509:18 AM.
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
