I think the contact that we are all worried about is the dinners and the parties and the special occasions. Logistics are a given. Birthday parties and Sunday brunches are allowing him to cake eat and not allow you to detach.
bdub, there's no way I'm going to turn down a family birthday party for either myself or H. We aren't going to candlelight dinners together, it includes the kids, and I'm not going to miss out on that. I'm just not. I'm not going to tell the kids that I won't come to dad's family birthday party or that he's not invited to mine. I don't see the need to be that way when we actually get along beautifully in person.
Today is H's birthday. I sent him a happy birthday text this morning, he replied, and that's been it for today. I don't expect anything else. Good enough?
rppfl, everyone here is rooting for you -- and the feedback you are getting is because we are worrying about your detachment. As long as you're okay with being just friends with your H and have no expectations of anything more ever with him, then it's probably fine to continue attending those kinds of events. If you're trying to DB, though, in hopes of drawing him back to you (and not letting him eat cake), then more distance and NC is what's recommended. Each situation is different, and each person has to follow the path that he/she thinks is right for them. You have support here!
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
RPP, you've had a ROUGH couple of weeks. Do what you feel like doing. We're behind you. When you need a change, we'll be behind you then, too. One thing at a time.
Hugs.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
