Old dog seeks new trick 7

[Vanilla]

Old Dog,

An I house s is so very difficult, especially if you are aware of nuance of the wayward or compulsive. My tactic is to observe without appearing to do so, this is Hertzberg philosophy. The observer changes the behaviour of the observed. Relax a little about W and toughen up on your own journey.

Old Dog, you need your GAL and lots of it, the fuller your own life the more attractive you become to yourself this is not for W but for you. Your plans, goals and activities are for you. Old Dog it sounds to me like you are laid back with your life and a good 180 may be to develop some strong goals that are appropriate drivers for you. You would know what they are, not work related perhaps but with an interest in people there are some GAL activities which will be very meaningful for Old Dog. A new outlook and interest will help you focus.

I detect in Old Dog a wonderful delicious sense of humour and a serious interest in the people around him, together with a willingness to experiment and explore his own nature. All of that makes Old Dog very attractive as a person. Expressive, caring and witty inimitable combination, devastating almost.

Stockdale Paradox, sadly not all situations are as clear cut as Stockdale. Accepting the reality of the position is excellent and I really do believe in it. But nothing is fixed in our world, the fire may or may not be at the door. The Indians may or may not be surrounding the wagons. Your W and my H will have their own reasons for staying S in the same location, in general that will relate to hygiene factors rather than motivation to R. If the hygiene factors are solid then more motivation to interaction is important to repair the R. all in good time.

Laughter, music, singing in the shower, cooking delicious meals, going GAL are all very attractive. RD creates a wonderful attractive family atmosphere that keeps W coming back for more. Financial stability, happiness and your own life are key for you. Jim adores his children, Edz cooks and has a BFT and has fun with his S. We all have each other here to guide us.

Old Dog, GAL for your life and set some new goals for you. If your old M is over then that is so, there is also the chance of a new R when Old Dog becomes a master of being the man only a fool would leave. For that you will need GAL, overdosed in spades.

You could try looking at a detatchment technique called reframing. It's based in psychological theory called NLP. But it means changing the way you look at things, including changing the modalities (sight, sound, touch......). Here is a link to a free resource I use for work issues. It may help.
http://reframe.thnk.org

Enjoy your relaxation and bath
Vanilla

[Old Dog]

I just picked up DR again.

I will not what for an IC to be appointed to me, I will find one who does SBT or a life coach and go through DR with them.

[Old Dog]

I discovered from S15 that daft lass has gone to watch her football team with her old boss. Apparently she has done this a few times every now and then. He doesn't think he was the date last Sunday.

We're on our own this evening as S12 is also out at frends so we're going to watch Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. Not my kind of film but I'd like to spend a bit ore time with him doing something fun and it's about the only thing that will drag him away from his compter games.

I'm feeling a lot more myself now after a torrid time today. I am so grateful to all of you who help out.

[gan]

Excellent, Old Dog. As I was catching up on the posts the last couple of days I was going to write:

Step 1 - take charge of the IC situation.

But you beat me to the punch with that last post! Make this a priority and feel good about yourself when you make it happen. That's you overcoming inertia.

[gan]

(Or rather post before last)

[Old Dog]

Oh, and shes blocked me on Facebook. Dunno when that was as I haven't looked at hers for ages. I unfollowed her maybe 2 months ago then blocked her last weekend.

[Old Dog]

Well Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey is truly dreadful.

[Maybell]

Dear Lord, OD, you're bringing ME down. What do you need to do to perk up??

[Train]

Maybell, I love you.

OD, look alive, brother. Look alive!

[Old Dog]

But it is dreadful. Even in my most perkiness of moods I would think the same. I thought the first one was dreadful too. It's just my kind of film.

S15 liked it though and that's why we watched it, so it served its purpose.

Hey Train. Maybell is the greatest :-) And I'm trying, I'm trying. Just opening DR and reading steps 1&2 again made me feel a whole lot better. Gave me back some inner strength.

I've been lying awake for a couple of hours and I just realised something. When I say daft lass holds me at arms length, I think she would say she is giving me space.