So today I had the first contact with my H since Jan1.
I was working and my SD called. She wanted to see me. I'm a nurse and work 12 hr shifts. I told her I'm at work sweetie and won't be home until 730 pm. She said that's ok Dad says I can come and he will pick me up at your house later.
I picked her up at 730pm. H. Was not home. SD had not had any dinner. We arrived at my place. I ordered her dinner and we walked my dog. She told me she is sad that her Dad is not spending more time with me. She had gotten hopeful she we spent more time together in Oct and Nov. I told her that her Dad does love her but has some personal things to work out. She told me she was home alone one night this week until 630am! She caught him coming home. I was furious. I told her if he is ever really late call me. ( I live five mins away) I will come get you. I to,d her it is not ok for you to be home alone all night and your Dad could get in big trouble for doing that. I would like to personally kick his a$$. Who leaves a 13 yr old girl home alone all night?!
I am so disgusted and have no respect left for this man. He showed up an hour and a half late to pick up SD. He would have liked to stay and chat. He hugged me hello and goodbye. In the past I would have thought it was great. Tonight I gave the awkward half hug pat on the back back. This MLC crap is so maddening. My poor SD is suffering for his selfish behavior.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Wow Karma that is terrible your H would leave SD home alone like that. I can see how you ant to kick his a$$. It must be hard not to wonder what your H is thinking when he does things like that. Will you talk with him about it?
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. My SD told me her Dad tried to make up excuses as to why he was getting out of his car at 630 am. He told her he had been at Costco. ( no bags and it opens at 10 am). Then said he had gone for a run. I know him well enough to know he will lie to me too if I question him or he will say SD is exaggerating. I told SD that the next time he is out past midnight on a weekday that she is to call me and I will come pick her up. That way she is safe plus when he finally shows up I can then give him an earful. Her Grandma ( maternal) and I are both very worried about SD. We also have to watch we don't alienate him as he has all the rights as the only parent.
I told SD that his behaviour is not normal and it has nothing to do with her. I told her he loves her as much as he is capable of loving someone. All she wanted to do was sit with me and cuddle. She is so sad. She loves her Dad and wants his attention so badly. I felt the same way when I was still in the home. Always waiting for something from him. At least then she still had me. It breaks my heart. One day he is going to be a very sorry man.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Hello Karma. I sympathize so much with you and your feelings for your SD. To you it is so clear how easy and right it is to simply come together for SD as a family. Much easier even to just take good care of her... not leave her alone overnight. It's hard for me to understand too when my wife chooses not to see my S12 on Christmas. Just let it go... right? You were right to tend to your SD'd love for her father. I think you're doing well for her and for yourself.
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014
Oh I just feel terrible for your SD! That's terrible. It's technically neglect and his MLC life could get infinitely worse if DCS gets involved. That's scary. Poor thing. I am so glad you're there for her. She needs you. Oh man.
I know hard to fathome isn't it. To be it goes against the basic instinct to take care of your young. MLC is like a Narristic mental illness. While in their tunnel they can't see beyond their own needs. Not that it excuses at all their behaviour.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Your sD is lucky to have you. Im proud you watch out for her like that. Its the right thing to do. This mlc thing is just sheer horror, how can someone do this to their own d???
Me: 36 Him: 36 DD: 3y DD2: 1.5mo Together: 5y Married: > 3y D: April 1st '15 after 1y of affairs
This MLC thing is awful. It is shocking to read on the boards all the damage that is done. It truly is like an Alien has taken over the spouse we knew. At times there are glimmers of the old H. I know though he is still in the tunnel.
This is the man that spent 100 k fighting for custody to give his daughter a better life. It breaks my heart to see her sad and hurt.
I have known SD since she was two. She doesn't remember life without me in it. I promised when I left I would not abandon her.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
