Back to the job: It's taken me more than 8,000 miles on my new car to realized I just need to settle it down and get it done. There's no need to drive to hell and back just to prove I'm good at what I do. I, physically, can't be there for EVERYONE and, then, I'm no good to ANYONE.
I'm my worst enemy. Always pushing myself and pushing myself, when a simple recipe of calm, peace and relaxation and self-love will do the trick.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, Continue to take the high road and I sense things are going much better now that your D20 and her drama are out of the house.
I'm so happy to read that D12 is enjoying her tutor. This is a huge step forward and you know what? She's going to enjoy her art class and she's going to make some new friends. This tutor sounds like a winner. You are going to see her blossom into a very active young and social butterfly very soon. This is all good.
You are learning what is best for you when it comes to focusing on the newspaper. This is great.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Until I got into alanon I never understood perfectionism. I thought there was no way i was a perfectionist - if I were I would be a size 4 and my apartment would be clean. I didn't understand that it was about our expectations for ourselves.
I constantly have to be reminded to be gentle to myself.
I constantly have to remind myself to do things at my own pace. Every time I read the news online I click on a list of 10 ways to be more efficient. These lists are evil and counter productive.
You are right - sleeping or mediatAting are the best the things you can do when you are struggling.
Stay strong lady
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
"Have you heard from D20. She hasn't posted anything on Twitter since Friday. That's not normal."
I had just responded when I get a phone call from an insurance investigator. He is investigating the theft of tools Smokey reported from our property. WTF?
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Do you suppose he's trying to claim that the tools were stolen in order to get some money from the homeowner's insurance? If the tools that your h claims were stolen are the ones you bartered w/, be honest w/the investigator and tell him you gave them away since they were in your possession and that your h had walked away several years ago and had not indicated any desire that he wanted them.
Your h is out to get money any where he can and still stick it to you whenever he can. Heather, you can try to be nice to him, but until he's settled down, he's going to continue to bite the hand that's being nice to him. You can't trust him. Don't let your guard down.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Managed to get a good paper out. At least I think it's a good paper. I haven't seen it yet.
Yes, Smokey is out to get money. In fact, the investigator told me he didn't give any information about how to locate or contact me. The investigator had to get my phone number from the internet. Now. We allllll know Smokey has MY phone number. Hmmmmmm....
He filed a claim for $10k. Yes, folks...that's $10,000. TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
Insurance fraud is something new for Smokey.
He told me he is only doing what the Judge told him to do.
Which, by the by, IMO, bodes well for me. I think this was the court's way of saying there is really no substance here and if you believe the tools were stolen, then...by all means...be our guest and file a claim of theft with the insurance...in other words...Let the INSURANCE INVESTIGATORS deal with this crappola and we will simply abide by what they say. Actually, I'm pretty impressed.
The investigator was a nice guy. He actually said, "Yeah, I thought this was pretty weird. The guy didn't give any contact info in order to reach you."
But, the investigator is meeting, in person, with Smokey. That should be fun.
THEN...ON DEADLINE DAY MIND YOU...I get a phone call from my girlfriend back home...the one with the daughter that was sexually assaulted at my house. Charges of rape have been filed against this former student of mine. Wow. All I can say is "WOW."
Please God, I don't want this to go to trial. The kid plead NOT guilty, but I know that's because he has to in order to make a deal. Otherwise, he gets 10 years solid with no bargaining.
What a freaking crazy day.
At the end, I was laughing my a$$ off because of the insanity.
At one point, I said to Smokey..."Do you realize how bananas you sound?"
He went right back into "Tools, tools, tools, blah, blah, blah..."
Meanwhile, he is stalking D20 on Twitter.
I told D12 that he was following D20 on Twitter to give her a head's up. She is HILARIOUS.
She's like, "Oh, no worries here mom...I've used a variety of names and aliases in order to keep the creeps away from me...I never use my real name or town or anything identifying me on the public sites." That's my girl! Off the grid.
Whatta numnuts.
Last edited by LoisB; 01/21/1501:08 PM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I'm glad you spoke to the investigator. I don't find it odd at all that your information wasn't given to the investigator. Your h was hoping he wouldn't contact you and that what he's claiming would go through and he'd get the money. Did he actually have that many tools or where they actually worth that much? I have all of my xh's tools and he had a lot, but they aren't worth that much money. Your h is about to find out that his claim may either be denied or reduced.
If this goes to trial, are you going to have to return for it? I'm sorry to hear that this case will continue on for some time. The kid needs professional help, not jail time.
Yes, your h sounds crazy and he's obsessed with money. If he was so darn bothered about his precious tools, he should have taken them when he walked. We can't feel sorry for him because he wasn't mature enough to do so.
Why is he so interested in D20 now? Is he hoping to track her down and try to talk to her so that she'll turn on you? I find it very interesting that he's stalking her now. I hope she's got good sense not to have much contact w/him at this point. As for D12, she's a smart cookie.
Hang in there. Your week started out nutty, but it should settle down soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh Job, it was such a strange conversation. You have no idea. I'm sure he has tried to stalk D12. I imagine he has told his parents and atty that he keeps in contact with them...so, he has to come up with information to feed them. "Have you heard from D12?" ...
He has a few potential responses...
-The honest one...she won't have anything to do with me. -The lie...Heather won't allow her to talk to me. Now, however, the legal situation is challenging this one because I have his lame efforts documented and, now, he knows it...Won't fly with the atty...at the least...and probably not my FIL who is probably talking with the atty. -The sneaky lie...He follows them on Twitter and whatever and gets info and feeds it to his parents to make it APPEAR as if he is in touch. How freakin sad is that?
The conversation we had yesterday was so strange, but really revealing into his frame of mind.
He must be really, really nervous for money. I'm guessing the atty fees are coming to something around $10,000. Hence, the claim.
Like you said, all things are revealed in time...
I got a glimpse into his life yesterday and it's not pretty.
I'm thinking he really flipped when we left. He had his troops rallied and they all jumped on the Heather is crazy bus...Look how she left the house. She took the kids two states away. She sold his tools for revenge...etc...
He, of course, fed this fire and played the victim.
His parents and this aggressive atty bought what we was selling and put things into motion to fight evil Heather.
Now, the hearing is over and his atty has a better idea of the truth...AND, the bills are coming in...His atty is probably realizing the claim about the tools is what it really is (his atty has been at this a long time)...a failed attempt to play the victim. Now, his atty is pressuring because he wants paid and sees that Smokey doesn't haven't have a legit claim.
So, Smokey goes ahead and files a fraudulent ins. claim hoping it will pass through the system unawares of me.
He's very desperate. I almost feel sorry for him.
And, in a strange twist, he seems to have been forced...because of the D charges and his atty telling him the charges of emotional abuse and abandonment are legit...now, he actually seems to admit he abandoned us.
When he said was giving me all his B.S. about the tools yesterday, I finally responded..."You abandoned your family. You left me with the house, yard, kids to take care of...for years. Your family finally got fed up and left. It's an ugly truth, but it's the truth."
He could only respond with more blah, blah, blah about the tools. He didn't argue the facts like he would have even 6 months ago...with some lame response like "Well, if you had gotten off your lazy azz and gotten a job, etc..."
He only has the tools. That's all he has left.
I have a job. The facts are out there. Atty bills are coming in and his kids have shut him out.
I told him yesterday..."I can't imagine the hell you have created for yourself. It must be awful. Even when I reach out and tell you the kids and I will always love you...you seem to react with even more venom and get meaner. How freakin sad. Take care."
All he could come back with was this lame..."But, what is the truth about the tools?"
He's fixated on it. And, he is projecting that I'm the kinda liar he is...
A whirling dervish and I'm two states away. Thank You God.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
