They could do "out of area" -- but that feels crazy given that I would not be driving past the schools they currently attend, the schools that WOULD be in our area are much better and potentially even walking distance, and the kids in the neighborhood would be attending those schools, so doing out of area would make it harder for my kids to make friends with the neighbors and curtail the "free-range" independence I want to foster since they'd become car/mom reliant to maintain their social lives. I'm talking about moving 10-15 blocks away from my current house, so we wouldn't lose touch with these people... Just wouldn't see them daily.
Last edited by Maybell; 01/24/1504:07 PM.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Maybell, my kids all went to the same elementary school, up through grade 5. The older two then went to a school that about 1/3rd of their elementary classmates also went to, and then they knew a few kids from community sports leagues, too. The interesting part is that it's mostly the new kids they met in middle school that are still their friends, not necessarily the ones they knew when they were three. D12 went into a middle school not knowing anyone at all. But she's made friends quickly, and today they are in my kitchen making chocolate chip pancakes. Point is, most kids can pretty easily make new friends, and if you are aware of it, you can help the process along.
Honestly, I wouldn't be too concerned about the school change for your boys. We moved by choice when my son was going into 5th grade and he adjusted fine...don't get me wrong he had issues but he had issues before the move! LOL
We also changed my youngest daughters elementary school when we bought our home and she was going into 2nd grade with no problems.
I know you were having some issues with D11 so I think a school change for her may be more difficult. Is she in middle school?
I'm not sure what your area is like. Here we have 3 (public) elementary schools and they feed into mostly one middle school and high school. Extra curricular activities include kids from all of the schools so they knew kids even if they didn't go to school with them.
I have a couple of different thoughts as far as timing of the school change. I think changing schools in the middle of the year is definitely more difficult than starting new at the beginning of the year, you may want to consider letting them finish out the school year where they are even though that may be a logistical nightmare for you. On the flip side, if you are moving into a new district, new neighborhood changing school mid-year will give them an opportunity to meet new friends in the new neighborhood before summer.
Maybe including D11 in that decision once you figure out where you will be moving will make the adjustment easier for her...just a thought.
You do sound great!
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
He zeroed in on what is important to me, shared that he has a similar interest, and said, "I'd like to talk more about that with you sometime."
This is something important to me that STBX NEVER wanted to be bothered with. Not even in the early days (can we say red flag?)
I left today grinning like a fool. Like a teenager.
This evening the top of my back, neck, and shoulders hurt so much I can hardly move. I'm scared this nice man has an ulterior motive. That I'm not as attractive or interesting to him as I think I might be. That my shoulders hurt because I'm anxious, or that they hurt because I'm relieving long-held tension.
This is probably the wrong place to write about this, but I'm not sure what else to do with it. I'm interested in knowing him but not as ready as I thought to date.
I think it will keep. No rush.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Maybell, I think that's great. You may ultimately decide that you are not in fact ready to date and that's ok. But isn't it nice to have choices?
I am really struggling with wanting to date right now. I don't think its a good idea, but it would be a real ego boost to have someone interested in me. Not gonna lie, that would be fun.
My brother dated 3 girls with the same first name (over several years). Finally married one. He tends to see things optimistically: As he would say, "at least you won't call him the wrong name accidentally!"
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Props to both of you for being open to the idea. Seriously.
For the past 10 years, I've just been in the habit of thinking that some men I met were attractive, but I never saw them as possibilities. And I can't seem to pivot away from that, despite the fact that I seem to be giving off some sort of "available scent" and am getting all kinds of unexpected attention.
Today D6, had a ton of questions on the topic of Stepmoms and Stepdads, and I almost promised her she didn't have to worry about a Stepdad.
Maybell- my sister had a youthful marriage that ended after a year. Both her current husband and the first one had the same first name The current one is a good egg - glad the name thing didn't scare her off.
I'm really interested in anyone on this board getting onto the dating scene, to see what the impact will be. Make that a vote in favor of this man from church.
Am I the only one who tends to imagine how a potential date gets angry? If I see a woman that's pretty, I almost immediately imagine us arguing. It seems to be a byproduct of constantly repeating that the limerence wears off, that infatuation is just a few months long, that everyone becomes boring and annoying to an extent, etc. I'm ruining my own future love life.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
No, I don't imagine arguing. I imagine me overestimating his interest in me. Or being overly pushy.
In short, I fear all the things I think I may have done wrong before.
It's been 19 years since I dated someone other than STBX and none of those guys were interesting -- just looked good on paper. This one MAY be interesting, if the fear doesn't kill me.
Incidentally, one of my good friends divorced a man and married another one in the same year. They shared a first name. She differentiates them by referring to H1 as The Devil.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
