Thanks for the good wishes, guys. I know this will all work out somehow. My IC has been suggesting that I get a different job, and I totally didn't want to. This one was comfortable, and really flexible. I guess life has pushed me along.
I met H for lunch and the whole conversation ended up being about the job issues, of course. Both of us have been entrenched in this community for 20 years, in countless ways. But my new boss doesn't know the whole history, of course, and doesn't care anyway, apparently.
My surgery is tomorrow morning. Thank you to everyone who has offered up good wishes and thoughts and prayers.
Just so I'm not ending on a downer, I'll throw in this fun tidbit: H is staying at the house starting tonight through the weekend. He asked me where he should sleep. I said either S19's room (because S has a queen sized bed in his room) or the guest room. S19's room is next to mine, guest room is on the opposite end of the house. H said he would sleep in the guest room, unless I planned to sneak into his room at night and then S's room would be closer. The man is on a roll.
College football aside (I went to a small school in Virginia without football, so I really don't have skin in this game), I'm a little more than stunned that your WAH is angling toward all of this.
I'm assuming that he's spending the night to take over parental duties post surgery? (Like who'd feel like banging anyone after that?) One comment and flirting, okay. He probably figures he's honing his skills. But all of this combined? I dunno. I think I'd have to muster some courage and call him on this. And it would go something like this:
"WAH, I would like to discuss the topic of sexual innuendoes and all things booty calls. Last I checked, we are separated and you've told me countless times that you want out of this marriage. I've talked all along about how this is NOT what I've wanted or what the kids want. I've worked really hard on myself and in counseling, and it's been even tougher to manage the kids' anxiety about all of this. Because you've been so forthright in what you want, I've been working on letting go.
So what is up with your invitation to "lunch", the suggested booty call in our conversation about where you will sleep after my surgery and this flirty stuff. Are you back in? I'd like to know what you're passively saying to me so that I understand completely what you want."
And then I'd sit back and zip my lip and hear what he has to say. I think it's probably going to be interesting as hell. After he tells you or avoids answering you, you will know and then you can figure out the path you want to take. This is some crazy sh!t.
I'm sorry to hear about your job, rpp. But again, I have to say that God works in mysterious ways. I've had many experiences where I've resisted what I know should be a path I should initiate and jump on that train, only to feel afraid of change and sit on my ass. And then the universe forces me to do things that I should do anyway.
You seem smart and capable, and just maybe, your path needs to reflect what is in your heart. Do a little soul searching while you're under the weather and see if you can dream up your dream job. I love, love, love these exercises. I start by saying, "if X wasn't a problem, what would I choose to do?" Then miraculously, I start looking for ways to get rid of those perceived and real obstacles.
I'm with ralice. You'd be surprised at how many people would love to have your skills. Yes, there are plenty of companies that reflect this trend. But there are many that don't. Do you have a CPA license? That's awfully valuable, rpp. And there IS flexibility in that line of work. I'm not an accountant, but a bookkeeper in my real trade (outside of owning my business). I've freelanced my services since 2006, and I dictate my terms within reason. My SIL does this as her full time job. She drives all around western Montana to her clients. Some only need her 4 hours a week. Some one day. Some 3 days. Some once a month. She loves the variety and the flexibility. And her boys are grown and have flown the coop.
Think outside the box...
Hugs and love, and my prayers for a speedy recovery and good news.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
RPP, first off, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope all goes well.
Second, what Raliced & Betsey said. I was out of the workforce 12 years and it really came down to God's timing (and some serious resume help from my brother). I think you're more employable than the panic is letting you believe.
Sleep on it. Enjoy the anesthesia tomorrow. and by the time February rolls around you'll have an abundance of choice. You're very well placed as a church employee to network -- make the most of it.
Hugs, lady!!!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I'm sorry about your job but we never know what's around the bend. I left a comfortable (but soul-sucking job) at 51 and found the best job I've ever had.
You know you're valuable, own it.
Good luck with the surgery. Hope you have a good surgeon and a great anesthesiologist!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
My prayers are with you today. Projecting all the healing I can muster.
Oh and if you were in the UK and prepare to do accounts, career tomorrow. No issue, you are in my preferred age group for a work colleague. Come join us.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
and by the time February rolls around you'll have an abundance of choice. You're very well placed as a church employee to network -- make the most of it. 