Hi all just a report in. The new 3kids is here. I have been doing really well. Have got all the focus on me and my kids. I am personally really looking at all my flaws. And focusing on what I want to do in life. Laughing more because it make me feel good. A coworker even commented how my attitude has changed.
Here all along I thought I needed friends to make me happy but it doesn't. The other night I asked a bunch of friends to go with me to a sportsman show and they all couldn't for some reason or another. Normally I would just not go then. Then I looked in the mirror and the old me would go no matter what. Because he wants to. So I did and had a ton of fun. Found a bunch of fun stuff to do with the kids this spring, summer and fall.
As for the wife who knows doesn't really matter she's doing her thing. We don't really talk anymore. Less available right. I answer when she calls and keep it short. But not all the time.
We have a couple of buyers on our old house. So that sounds great. One is cash so hopefully that will keep the bank happy for the short sale. The realtor told me by the beginning of March it will be sold. Awesome!
Then I talked to the wife tonight. It was like 6:30 and she asks what are you doing. I had stopped at a book store looking for anger management. But I just told her I stopped at a store real quick. Of courses she tells me she has 90 days minimum for the short sale to go through. For her to move out and figure out what she's doing. Where normally I would have jumped in and offered her our home. I just stated that's good. And she kind of got miffed that I didn't respond to the way she wanted. Then she went into how we have to finish splitting up stuff. I laugh to myself because the only things to split up are the lawn mowers. Who gets the ridder and push. Every thing else is done with. My youngest wanted to talk with me and tell me he loved me. And she's in the background telling him to give the phone back to her mid sentence of him talking to me. The reason being my oldest wanted me to take him to the batting cages tonight. I tell her to tell him it's not going to happen tonight but we will get there. SO THIS WHAT SHE TELLS HIM " your dad can't tonight he is on a date". I didn't react in an angry way but boy did I want to. I just said don't tell my son that I'm on a date when I'm not. Nock that off. I asked her to please email some house stuff and told her to have a good night. That was just plane childish. I know she's wondering what I'm doing in my life but don't tell my child that I'm on a date and thats the reason I can't take him to the batting cages. Madddddd!
Oh well let it go. Move on. That's my new life goal!
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
Wow, that was uncalled for by her. Talk about some insecurities. Not to mind read, but for her to say it, she must have been thinking about it. You handled it much better than I would have.
My W has been telling lies similiar to this to everyone that will listen. Fortunately, that's not too many people anymore because the ones that know me know it's all bull. It was amazing thing she's said about me even before BD.
Last edited by MCS; 01/11/1508:32 AM.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
Mcs, that was very childish. Oh well if my kids want to talk about it, they will ask. I didn't put to much thought into it. It's was on her time and if the oldest wanted to go that bad he should have just asked his mom to take him. He knows I'm not dating anybody and would never choose a women over him.
As for her she was just temperature checking. I'm sure she wanted me to reassure her that I'm not dating. But unlike normal I didn't let her know that. She doesn't need to know anything about my personal life. And I of hers. Let her think what she thinks. I think it's maybe good that she thinks that. Maybe loosing me might be good. Who knows? It's not going to affect my PMA!
Thanks, 3kids
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
I have a question for anyone. To see if there is a better way to handle an issue. We have to right a hardship letter to the bank. In texts I asked if we could get together and write something or not. She suggested that we just do it tonight when we exchange kids at my house. Now I didn't feel comfortable doing that because I have three little ones that like to listens to everything mom and dad talk about. And they don't need to worry about anything more than what they are going to have for lunch tomorrow. Really it's the oldest, he is very good at listening at convos. So I told her that was not going to work for me. And they didn't need to worry about adult stuff. She said well I can just write it then. I said no you don't have to do that, it should be from both of us. If you can't meet with me. We can just email it back and forth. She didn't reply and we said goodbye.
Is there a better way I could have handled this? She is acting not like an adult right now.
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
3 kids, I think you handled it fine. It really is hard to talk with 3 kids in the house. Sometimes H and I meet at a coffee shop to talk about things when we don't want the kids to be around. If you can handle it without getting emotional in public, then that might be an option for you. Sometimes you can hash things out in person faster than emailing back and forth.
I thought it was ok. I guess I will have to talk to the oldest tonight now. He just called me asking if his snow pants where at my house and if I was home or at work. I told him I was not home and where they were. He says so your at work. Before I answered a thought rushed through my head "why is my son so concerned with where I am". I didn't want to respond. So I just said no. I don't know if it was him asking my wareabouts our his mom. But truthfully it's not either of there business. If it was him because of her "date" comment yesterday. I'll talk with him. Just upsets me either way.
Thank you again Rppfl 3kids
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
Hi all, I haven't posted this much in a while. But a lot is going on right now.
I have a very delicate situation going on. And I'm looking for advise on how to handle it.
In our house we believe in spanking and time outs. Some thing happened that has only happened once before with the wife a very long time ago. She slapped one of the kids. Apparently she had a very very bad weekend with the kids(kids told me). She was very angry with them and emotionally unstable. I know this because one of the clues was that she was working out at home(which she never does, stress reliever usually). And my daughter was trying to push her to work hard as I do with them. And she exploded on her. Now my daughter is very good at pushing her moms buttons. My wife supposedly slapped my daughter twice this weekend. Of course my daughter emotions are high and does not want to ever go back to her moms and hates her and every thing. I even asked my oldest what all the truth was. And he said the daughter pushed the buttons but mom was a little out of control. I know her stress level is high with the selling of the house and life finally being forced on her.
How do I bring this up for discussion? This one is really tough for me!!!!! I don't believe she is a bad mom and I don't know if it will ever happen again.
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
The first thing you do, and what you MUST do is document this. Hopefully you are keeping a divorce/custody documentation journal - if so, write it in there. (If not, start one!) You can also ask your daughter what happened and record her. Dont push her or ask her loaded questions, just "what happened".
Maybe you dont want to feel like you are digging for dirt on your wife, but trust me, what you really dont want is to be 6 months out from now wishing you had.
Haven't really talked to the wife in a long while. Don't know if she is still going to school or not. Don't know her new living situations, nothing.
We are having lunch today to write the hardship letter to the bank. Which is a real good thing because the guy that wants to buy my property. Is bringing cash to the table at a really fare price. So the bank will have to except it. And maybe it will be a quick process.
As far as the wife, I have a lot to talk about with her other than the house. We have the boys upcoming birthdays at the end of the month. We have house lawyer fees. Her dad's property connected to our old house. Plus way to much more.
I feel I have recently really dropped the rope with her. I don't think about our situation anymore. It really can't be any different from this if we get divorced. But I have to say I am kind of nervous to meet with her today. It's like meeting someone for the first time nervous.
I had to laugh about her comment yesterday when we where discussing when to meet up. She said she wished we would have done this about 3 years ago and maybe things would be different. Then stated that they still can be. As if nothing ever happened. My only comment was a lot has happened now.
Have a great day everyone, 3kids
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
