Jim0987 #10 - getting ready for mk8

[jim0987]

So my last thread is up to over 100 posts, time for a new one.

Last thread here
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2522619#Post2522619

General gist of my current situation is that its 4 months since BD and im in the last stages of finalising all the financial separation while my wife packs to move out to start her new life proper. Currently planned for 20th Jan.

Likely to be an interesting couple of weeks which will really test my PMA particularly as my busted foot is limiting my GAL activity.

[corey47]

How do you deal with the in house separation? I find it really hard to stay away and detach if she is always around.

[Dawn70]

You have got this, Jim! Good luck to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.

[jim0987]

So today is about 10 days til my wife moves out (based on her timeline which i dont see why it wont be met) - As it stands i will be out of the country the day she moves.

Anyway this weekend is my turn for the kids so had a good play with them this morning while getting them up. took them to D3s football.

I had to go buy some food as the house was empty but the kids are quite happy doing and it gave me an opportunity to assess the onesie epidemic (no sightings today)

Had homemade tagine for lunch, and made smarties cookies with D3 while S1 had his nap. Generally then just played with them and read them stories. All pretty normal stuff for me.

I was a bit sad this morning before football, and had one moment when my W was talking about some of the stuff she is taking and if thats ok - to which i replied quite positively 'its fine, its just stuff' she then talked about being reasonable and taking the few things that meant something to her. I calmly replied that she was taking the only 3 things that mean anything to me (meaning her, D3 and S1) - she knew thats what i meant.

The rest of the day my W was in and out packing her things etc. and for the most part she kept out the way and i got on with parenting. we chatted at various points and i got a few smiles for things i said but there wasnt any fun between W and I per se - not surprising though given whats going on

No real friction just distance today - apart from the comment above none of my defenses played out and thats quite consistent now for me. I also had plenty of opportunity to snoop and didnt (and yes i know its sad this classes as a small victory)

So all in all I think it was a reasonable day and as I said for some of my changes, I dont notice them so either they are really starting to stick of I've relapsed badly (i feel like its the former)

Out the way now just doing some tinterweb stuff before an early night me thinks.

[corey47]

Jim,

Keep your head up your doing what you can and to the best of your ability. Im sorry that your sitch is this way. Try to find some inner lining on whats going on and do your best to stay positive.

[Vanilla]

I love tagine, the house always smells wonderful afterwards too. I made an aromatic majur vegetarian curry with a fish tagine. Followed by baked five spiced nectarines, but smarties cookies will work the same magic. The sublime combination of savoury and sweet spices together with lamb, chicken or fish.

Sounds like a more stable ordinary day, liking this Jim and there is more peace in your life.

I know you don't agree with my last detailed analysis but when you hear hooves think horses not zebras. It's your sitch and you know it well.

Sleep well tonight dear Jim, with a home full of delicious smells.

Vanilla

[jim0987]

Thanks Vanilla,

I had roasted peach in a restaurant in barcelona once and it was delicious. I had completely forgotten about it until you mention baked nectarines

I do always appreciate your insights and thoughts and i've reread what you wrote. I felt the conversation had gone well but in retrospect its because i was more in control of me and managed to get a couple of relationship nuggets, as well as having the opportunity to openly discuss our fears. but too much relationship talk.

this morning I did the same things - I latched onto a small point and drove a big truck of relationship stuff in there. this morning W made a comment about 1 on 1 time with the kids and i said something about us not acting independantly enough to really make the most of things

this is one of the criticisms is that I dont just let things go, i make a bigger point (over and over). Good to reflect on and I think kind of what you were saying.

[Ggrass]

Well at least your noticing now.

It won't be long till you can back down and let stuff go. Practise saying meeeeh so what! us slow learners needed reminding. Meh

[jim0987]

Had another relatively good day

Again had the kids - made pancakes for breakfast and then played at home this morning; did some fun stuff with duplo and playdough. W went out (shops and gym) for most of the morning but saw we had had fun.

Wife took D3 to the cinema this afternoon, she was really happy to have the 1 on 1 time with D3 and I enjoyed my all too rare 1 on 1 time with S1. Nothing special just played silly games and read stories

If you took out the tension from W and added some affection between us it would have been a really nice family day. our conversation was light and friendly though W did pepper it slightly with seperation related stuff

W spent a load of time doing her nevous twitching and her twirling. She looked good and I smiled, she saw and accused me of smirking. (previous twirling has all coincided with OM stuff). I decided ther was no way to know why she was doing it so just smiled, told her it was just a happy thought and moved on.

As soon as the kids were in bed W retreated to her room and for the first time with no insuation or assumption I really wondered 'what does she do?' - the only form of entertainment she has in there is her smartphone - I would be sooooo bored.

I spent the evening doing domestic stuff and watching a film

so hardly earth shattering but a decent and peaceful day

[edz]

Sounds like a good day all in all, nothing wrong with not earth shattering. Good interactions with s from the sounds of it. Working well Jim, mk 8 is looking the best yet.