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raliced #2518570 12/18/14 08:16 PM
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Maybell Offline OP
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I'm not leaning toward filing at the moment. But I take seriously the idea that a legal arrangement would make things easier. Excluding sale of the house.

Yes, I'm worried he'll do something financial. I recently discovered that I do have some resources of my own, and if he does something really awful I'll call his dad, who I've kept out of things. But I am anxious.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2518572 12/18/14 08:18 PM
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So - do you see a downside to a legal separation?


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2518573 12/18/14 08:19 PM
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Maybell Offline OP
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Just dealing with the house.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2518574 12/18/14 08:23 PM
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Well - I think I've said this here before - but given the amount of anxiety this seems to cause you from time to time, I would seriously consider it.

I know you've said your H has been ok with you about money.....but I dunno....he wants to be separated then he should really deal with all the ramifications of being separated and more importantly, you should get what benefits there are to being separated, and right now it seem like you don't.

Sorry - I always feel like I am a little hard nosed about this aspect of things.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
Maybell #2518575 12/18/14 08:30 PM
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I understand, Maybell. It seems we have the same LRT when it comes to money (calling the in-laws). smile


Me: 33 Him: 35
T: 13 M: 11
D7
BD, S: Jul 3rd, 2014
Elsa #2518576 12/18/14 08:46 PM
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Why the ambivalence?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2518578 12/18/14 08:57 PM
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Maybell Offline OP
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Because of seventeen years, three children, four states, and a vow before God.

Also because I married him on purpose.

But I may be better off on my own.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2518579 12/18/14 08:58 PM
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Maybell Offline OP
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I need the house to wait till summer just to make life easier.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2518581 12/18/14 09:30 PM
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Does a legal separation force the sale of the house, or can some middle ground be reached on that one?


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
Maybell #2518583 12/18/14 09:59 PM
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Originally Posted By: Maybell
Because of seventeen years, three children, four states, and a vow before God.

Also because I married him on purpose.

But I may be better off on my own.


I get all that and I'm not challenging you, but I am curious. A S agreement isn't a D. It gives you the space you need while not having to worry about the business side of marriage. I think everyone should have one from the get-go. I didn't and I probably would have had to provide support to my H. (which he wouldn't have taken.

In my state a legal S turns into a D when that decision is made.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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