Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 10 of 11 1 2 8 9 10 11
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
Life - I love what you wrote, but I had just hit send on this email.

---
Doesn't look like I will be able to bring the girls uptown on Friday for both logistical and emotional reasons.

Maybe in the New Year the 3 of us can have coffee at a neutral location so I am better prepared for these encounters in the future.
----


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
this is what he wrote back to me after my email

--
It's unfortunate that you're not ready to do that yet. I'm not sure coffee is best idea- not sure what we would all talk about. But it is time to break the ice somehow.

This weekend. Not sure of all your logistics and your parents', but maybe we could pick the girls up from Yonkers Saturday morning? That would be a great help with the long trek to Lowell.

---
What do you guys think?? I am so confused??


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Brook,

Are you able to do this in Yonkers? Is this something you can do yourself or have your parents drop them off there?

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
Yonkers saturday is not a problem. But why did he write those means words "its unfortunate that your not ready..." It makes me so sad all over again


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Brook,

Ignore the snarky comment. Trying to guilt you for having those honest feelings. It is all on him. He's a blockhead.

How would you respond to XH's email? Please be sure to post a draft here first for feedback before hitting the send button.

I am thinking it is time for you to drop suggestions on meeting with XH and the OW. He's resisting it big time so that's not going anywhere.




Last edited by Wonka; 12/11/14 06:29 PM.
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,300
Likes: 115
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,300
Likes: 115
He wrote those words because it looks like you are not ready or willing to bring the girls over to the ow. He wants everyone to be one big happy bunch of friends and wants to shove the bs under the rug and move on. He thinks you are still angry and won't do things for him to accommodate his wants and desires.

Bottom line, it's not often that everyone can be one big happy bunch of people and if it happens, it's a long way down the road.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 564
1
Member
Offline
Member
1
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 564
I think those words were just written quickly by a blockhead. There is no deep meaning. He just wants what he wants. Ignore his tone. It isn't personal.

As for meeting OW, I wouldn't try to push anything until you are completely detached. This is for self preservation.

What do you want to do about visitation?


M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou



Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,300
Likes: 115
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,300
Likes: 115
I agree w/Gwen, ignore his comments. It's his way of sticking it to you because you aren't bending over backwards to accommodate him. Don't take it personally.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,666
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,666
Brook,

He's trying to bully you again. Don't let him.

He knows the buttons that get you riled.

Stick to what works for you.

You've been gracious.

Now, focus on what YOU need to do for YOU.

Hugs to you,

Heather


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
Thank you guys so much. I was spinning for a minute.

I was gonna write back.

"I can make Friday night or Sat. morning in Yonkers happen"


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

Page 10 of 11 1 2 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard