New Place - New Togs - New Me? Mmmm (Part 5)

[edz]

W texted me to say she's pickng up an order tomorrow morning so will pick s up. She didn't mention the Pic of s and I didnt raise it or anything related to r.

Bit of a tough day was nice to see dad, stepsis and Stepmum but does create some stress with s here and not getting into to much chat on the way w is behaving. BUT! S was \ is here and it's been nice to have company. They all loved the house and stepmum gave me 12/ 10 for the way I've got everything moved in and the house cosy.

[Vanilla]

What a wonderful day.

And why talk about W to family? Not a good idea I feel! Keep it to yourself, so if I were you I would be relieved I didn't slip. No one else's business, unless you both agree to it.

Obviously you are building a home which is a wonderful warm place for S. Long may it last, S must love to come to you and enjoy your company as well as you being dad.

Peace
Vanilla

[edz]

Hi vanilla

Yes that's what I meant not going into it with them but I hadn't thought to think of it as it going well view point change required there :-)

S does love it he'd like to be here longer and id like him to be we're all working on it. The only one who seems to be struggling with the sitch today seems to be w from her Facebook postings but you know what I'm leaving that to her for now and enjoying being home in the warm cosy place with s tucked in upstairs.

Edz

[edz]

Well interesting morning.

S was here last night, loved the new Darth Vader onesie I got him (complete with built in boots and cape - no vanilla they didnt have it in my size - ), we watched a movie and come bedtime he was excited and had trouble getting off to sleep, stayed in his room with his music on while he popped off to nod. Checked on him later and he was well away, tucked him in and crashed out myself.

Zonko this morning, I didnt want to get up when the alarm went off but dragged myself up, did the household tasks (got washing on / dishwasher etc) before getting breakfast ready got S up eventually and we had breakfast before he settled down to catching up on his online android game (monster battle thing) while I started work. W arrived about 10 and was happy to come in and sit down for a couple of cups of coffee. Since the new place is close to the christmas shop she wanted to go to she left the car here and walked up and then s & w stayed for another coffee (OJ for S) and I made W a pancake.

They've just headed off now and as I used up that time Im back to work instead of lunch (well worth it) Cant say I felt a warm fuzzy rush but the cold distance wasnt there either. Who knows whats going on in her mind (I'm not going there) but it was nice to have them both here for a little while with us all on the same sofa.

Off out tonight after work to do the last of the bancrupting,er, christmas item (all the bits you have at christmas you dont miss until you realise after moving you dont have - picallilli, white padding to put around the tree stand etc etc) and return a couple of lampshades I bought on saturday before realising they are different fitting sizes and two of the 4 dont fit, DOH!

Tomorrow meeting up with a mate for a bite after work and Thursday is the evening work meal, busy one!

[Vanilla]

Darth Vader onesy. Want one, want one, immediately for H. For Xmas, for the hell of it.

Great interaction with W. What a Smoooooth operator you are becoming lots more practise with the charm plan and it will be completely second nature with W.

Have some fun GAL with mate tonight. More like this Edz. Now where did I leave my GAL wand? More GAL plans, don't let the supply run out after the party.

Go GAL
Vanilla

[Dawn70]

Sounds like you are doing well, Edz. I have been following you for awhile now and I am so impressed with your detachment and GAL. Oh and you mentioned your S's fascination with minions....I am a little older than 10 and I LOVE the minions! I have a minion piggy bank on a shelf in my living room and some small minion figures on my computer in my office. LOL

[edz]

Hi all

Thanks for all the kind words gang.

OK lots happened this evening. Started off awfully but I'm feeling OK.

Came home from work to an envelope with a £140 invoice from mil for cleaning the apartment. Emailed her querying the invoice and wasnt the rent due back covering this. What came back was the most vitriolic pile of nastyness. I was blamed for not properly communicating leaving dates, for leaving the place in an awful state for the carpets smelling of cat wee (ws cat although I did my best with the Vax) that I was getting off lightly and could expect to be billed for carpet cleaning. On and on. I think I may have been accused of taking the Limburg baby in there and probably wiping out the dinosaurs as well.

OK I admit I freaked. I didn't immediately reply. I prepped dinner. I did email w but only as she was the one who arranged all the cleaning on the move. I didn't mention r bit I did say I didn't think I deserved this...wrong wrong wrong full if wrongness, no reply.

I then thought on it all, I've heard through family channels mil is pushing w to sort her issues by demanding more money I also know w is currently not doing so. I also know some of the content of those emails and they're worse than the one I got. Basically I'm the spawn of Satan should be crushed and support w without her having to work and its tough if that means my life is destroyed, im buying toys and flash cars (no ideaa on the toys, the car is a 14 year old golf!) she's such a class act.

Frankly I feel like I'm reaching a detached state now. I emailed mil in a pure business mode, I'll pay this when I get paid, i can't afford it until then. I also apologised for the confusion and said I shouldn't have assumed she was in the loop or taken it for granted that there was a rent amount coming back, i also asked when will be a good time to have a carpet cleaning firm come in and quote. It was hard to swallow but anything else is shouting at the wind, she doesn't care if she's wrong shes just out to be vindicative and I choose not to play.

I then emailed w again, I know but hang on all, I said sorry this isn't her problem and I'm dealing direct with mil on it. I also touched on a few points, mil is pushing that I'm worthless and just needy and looking out for myself as always that everything with s is just me showing off and the new place is just me saying I'm worth more than her.

I simply said (as in theory I don't know this) that this is the home I'm making, this is the life I'm making for s and i and following on from our call on Saturday I'm not trying to affect her or show off, just make a nice home s can share, alluded to her being welcome but no needyness. I also touched that I think she needs to sit down with me and discuss finances.

After a good day at work lots of PMA looking forward to the party on Thursday, a huge 180 even w was shocked about me going to, it brought me down a little. I did make a big decision today, I'm not giving up...yet but I did take my ring off today. W hasn't worn hers since July (before erratically) but I feel I'll put it back on when and if we move toward a reconciliation until then its not I want to appear single far from it it just feels like an expression of my internal needyness or not moving on, its also not for shock value but if mil is pushing I'm lying and not changing I think that may be the most profound way to express that while I don't agree with this I will move on.

So saddened by another beating from someone I had a lot of respect from and the lack of any comment from w but being realistic what would she do, alienate her mother? I've already consulted cab and looking into getting an od on a new account then, as I mentioned to w, we can end the joint account and sort what each of us needs, made it clear I'm not out to cut her off but I think its time to be clear I'm not moping and waiting but rebuilding.

Feel a little sad after the positive visit yesterday and that again its mil pushing everyone's buttons but while financial future still scares me I'm getting to the point of not being incapable of seeing a future if w doesn't return, I still miss her and want to work on her coming back but the old needy floor mat who would take any emotional beating if it brought her back, I think he left the building today. Tomorrow, well, we'll see what happens and w hasn't replied yet who knows what she'll say confronted with mil saying I'm a clinging parasite and me saying her life is hers and channelling transition.

Probably made some dB mistakes today, may have set myself back in some ways but the pit of despair hasn't returned afterward, not sure on what that means...yet.

I await your thoughts all, gal, PMA and 180s continue and vanilla I'm off tomorrow to try to pick up a nice waistcoat ready for Thursday night along with the shined shoes trousers black shirt new belt and new(ish) me.

Edz

[edz]

Sounds like you are doing well, Edz. I have been following you for awhile now and I am so impressed with your detachment and GAL. Oh and you mentioned your S's fascination with minions....I am a little older than 10 and I LOVE the minions! I have a minion piggy bank on a shelf in my living room and some small minion figures on my computer in my office. LOL

Hi dawn

Thanks for the kind words, I don't often think I'm doing that well but I'm trying. I have to admit I like the minions too, told s I'll take him to see the minions movie when it comes out. Have you seen the mini movies by the way s has watched banana about a million times at this point

Edz

[Vanilla]

Edz

You know what's coming a whole series of STFU.

STFU

STFU

And STFU

Let MIL strangle herself on her own tongue.

There is no dignity in Ranting!

There is no dignity in responding!


Give it up. You are better than this, our Edz has not got with the program today.

Smile move on. In fact go and belly laugh, Edz.

Go spray the old apartment with freshen up. Ask for an itemised bill, then query each item.

Really, not worth your time and attention. The karma of scorpions is to sting, let MIL sting the scarecrow.
Your GAL pal
Vanilla

[edz]

You're right vanilla

I did reign myself in somewhat and thought the best plan on mil was to take away her matches without taking her on. Emailing w was the stfu point I imagine. I won't be following it up except on the finances we have to deal with those somehow. I'll admit the info on mil pushing w to go after me financially unnerved me and the invoice pushed me over, stingy stingy. I shall pour some antiseptic on it and behave.

Good news is I'm quite upbeat and not dwelling, in fact if anything I'm looking forward to the party Thursday, you have to admit that's a turnaround