These teeth are definitely in MLC, yesterday I could hardly talk for pain, today they just chatter with dull ache. I wish they would walk away.
Last night H went drinking again, golf again today. Another day of rest for me. I really do want to fight this infection with all my resources and that takes peace and quiet resolve. Plus rest and sleep.
I so dearly need some GAL, exercise and PMA.
Still I will do what I can for today. Vanilla
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
If he doesn't shop and doesn't cook starve is an option for him.
Sorry but men who can't wont don't annoy me. H did cook, but considered himself a far better cook than me. He could make packet gravy mix and custard from powder.
Neither of their things he could make from scratch. Rolls eyes.
You take of vanilla huh!
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
It was me that was walking away not H, before I decided to stand. H iwas quite comfortable where he was except that now he knows his W is setting boundaries, and GAL for her life. I have always had a PMA, guess that shows?
H only wants what H wants. He has had some shocks because W won't co-operate and is detached.
I will not be abused in any way. Life outside this M is not going to be so comfortable and easy, H is beginning to wake up to that fact.
Let me tell you a few of the things that have changed
1. I only cook when I want to, and I cook what I like. This includes fish. If he wants to eat then he has what I am cooking unless he specifically makes a request 2. I wash my own bedding. H bedding has been on his bed now for 6 weeks 3. I will wash H clothes as long as he irons 4. The hoovering is done by both 5. We have a cleaner once a week for the communal parts of the house 6. As per specialist IC the fridge is filled with bread, ham and cheese none of which I eat. H is now getting bored with this 7. I don't buy beer or any other alcohol as part of the shopping unless it's for cooking with 8. I do not pick H up after he has been drinking nor be complicit in it 9. I do not sleep with, kiss or in any way relate to a drunk, I relocate physically 10. I go GAL as a priority 11. I go to Rotary 12. I go to gamanon and 12 steps 13. I dance, go to the gym and sauna together with cinema on Orange Wednesdays 14. I take better care of my health and take vits 15. I read, do TED talks 16. I do not let H insult me and I close down spew 17. I am so detached and laid back now 18. I observe, and check 19. I generally don't take much notice of H rubbish words 20. I follow the 80% guide most of the time 21. I do not cover for H nor excuse him 22. No R talks or ILY but I acknowledge and valid H if he starts to talk but as fast as possible shut it down 23. Getting a lot better on the STFU 24. I take the high road and give the benefit of the doubt if I can 25. I project positive love 26. I meditate and pray
So what are the downs 1. Let H fall over still doesn't feel right to me 2. I have a tendency to withdraw when hurt 3. My skin is too thick and I should find some things cross boundaries 4 I have the tendency to be too generous and see the funny side 5. I pay almost all of the bills, allowing H to have too comfortable a life 6. I work way too hard 7. I have a tendency to blame myself too much 8. I can not get passed the smoking
That's my sitch
Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/07/1409:24 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
When I met H he had rampant athletes foot, as I am diabetic that's dangerous for me to catch.
I noticed in the pill box there were some of his old tablets so I am taking them just in case. Yes I know other people's meds etc......
Worth a go for a couple of days to try an anti fungal. Will not be using a cream or spay though. Perish the thought, the taste would be gross.
As a child I swam in the sea and got aspillerga growing in my ears (for the uniniated that the black fungus on fruit). Drove me crazy and my gran used althletes foot cream in my ears. When I was travelling regularly in Africa we used to use nit shampoo to de louse before we came home. And used neem cream on our eyelashes for eyelash mites.
Just thought I would let you know teeth problem is not affecting my PMA only my ability to GAL. I am not squeamish as some of the kids we fostered came preloaded with all this as a result of their living conditions. I am expecting H to deteriorate as he already looks 10 years older than he used too. Yes, I can see the funny side and I am stocked up on the requisites.
Smiling ear to ear Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/07/1409:50 PM. Reason: Grammar
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Sorry - Id forgotten that part of your situation - most on here are the Left behind one but the more i read the more i realise its a lot about the dynamic and its which one of the two had enough first.
thats a really good list of changes. your postivity always comes accross in your posts
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
So what are the downs 1. Let H fall over still doesn't feel right to me 2. I have a tendency to withdraw when hurt 3. My skin is too thick and I should find some things cross boundaries 4 I have the tendency to be too generous and see the funny side 5. I pay almost all of the bills, allowing H to have too comfortable a life 6. I work way too hard 7. I have a tendency to blame myself too much 8. I can not get passed the smoking
do you mind if i ask a couple of questions on these?
3) what do you mean 'cross boundaries?' - if you have a thick skin thats good but in the past you've talked about the screaming banshee and so i'm just trying to equate the two 4) why do you see this as a down? 5)when/how do you think you might broach this topic? 6)Is your working making you unhappy? you seem to balance leisure activities in there as well so is it an issue for other reasons? 8) whose smoking? i think i've missed/forgotten this somewhere
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
I can relate to the screaming banshee, but I only did it on one occasion.
I was gunna kill him, I suspected ow amounts other things. I flipped out. Turn out like many here, I knew I knew that I knew simple.
In a sense I always had dreams that predicted the future. Once many years ago I dreamed he cheated ow was blonde, but the dream was so real it invaded my day and left me really rocked. H brushed it off and now I know he made no attempt to validate or address my feeling. To make matters worse he the belittled me as well.
It was a very predictive dream in many ways, scrary now I think back.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
The cross boundaries thing I think vanilla means she sets a boundary but because most stuff doesn't overly bother her at first, she lets it go.
Then later she feels that it was crossed but her chance to enforce that boundary is lost after the fact.
Am I correct vanilla? Cause if so I haz the same issue exacery! Funny a lot of women do. We think letting things go is for the betterment of the r, when in fact it's not.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
