This is a very tough ride indeed. H exaggerating and interpreting in his own way and for his own benefit. It is bluster and bums rush, flailing in the extreme. Unfair and unwarranted. The only thing I can say is the courts generally see straight through this and over exaggeration on one thing if established will mean everything he says is called into question. These judges and adjudicators are not as idiotic as we imagine. Just because it's on paper doesn't mean it's valid, it just seems more 'real' if it's written than said. Like its permanent and true, but actually not.
It is very hard to work through and extremely hurtful. Think of it in the rubbish bin or flushed away, his words and hurtful behaviours. although we all contribute to our own sitches, some reactions exceed the imagination. There is an expression we use in the Uk, "what goes around comes around". Meaness and lies poison the soul of those that do the action.
This and the behaviour of your son will be part of the down day, guess he's just a teenager, will a teenager brain and raging hormones to go with it.
gg, this is just today.
Tomorrow is a new day with new hopes and beginnings. Rest dear one, and allow yourself good food and a little tlc. High maintainance you.......
I imagine you in your red kick ass shoes at the funeral mending bridges with your friend and head held high.
gg, I saw it, I mean IT, the dress that is going to change my life, that body hugging, multi coloured dress that will make my Xmas super special. You know IT. In a quirky little boutique near Oxford Circus in London. As a result of you, I bought IT!
Will report back on first wearing, now where can I get some red kick ass shoes to go with IT?
Maybe gg could send hers for me to borrow through the thread.
Will think about RHC, but I guess it's the start of a campaign. Rest well Vanilla
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Ok so I could hardly sleep last night, but h lawyer has done an awesome job for me. I never mentioned the relationship. I db that with my laywer.
He has said all the reason why no settlement is entitled, but it's totally wrong. He has given me the ways to disprove h. Completely utterly and easily.
Some of my evidence while undated it is written in h hand. At worst he can discredit the time it was written but the content um no.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Rhc, his refusal just made him more attractive because of the way in which he did it. Then the damn laywers letter showed me in not ready for the sort of r I feel I want with him. I did explain to him I need friends to agin a male perspective in my life. Not essentially a boy friend.
I didn't ask the accountant out, because truely I feel no attraction and I feel dishonest to lead him on. I'm finding middle ground tough on that score.
By last night I was flirting and being ok with customers, but I nearly passed out several times just being so damn tired. Didn't sleep much again, but the mind was working the rebuttle out, she will be a doosie.
As for your dress vanilla I love bright pretty colours. Can you add a link?
I would loooooooove this one. So many pretty 50's dresses.
Went back to my early goals and that helped me get back on track. Not that I shared them here, I'm unsure why I didn't.
When I was shattered and I could not speak, a goal was to greet every customer with hello and good bye.
The second goal was be witty and cute make em laugh, smile feel special and want to come back. This was modled on a work mate who left, she set a great example for me to aspire to.
Those I cannot speak to I make sure I wave and acknowledge, even if I cannot leave what I am doing to speak to them.
My gut feeling was these show caring loving spirt in a non threatening way.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Spent all day working on my answers, they were long and emotional. Needed to db down to facts and short. Takes a while to know what to leave out and what to put in.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I think your answers as just fine as you write them.
Would love you to update us on your goals and how you performed on them, To my mind your thinking is correct, these are generous outgoing goals, but could we know about your goals for gg? are these as generous?
How is S16?
Have a terrific thanksgiving. Vanilla
Dress would suit me too....... Will upload link, need laptop to do that.
Last edited by Vanilla; 11/27/1406:53 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Oh dear the last few days have been a huge backslide.
Not eating, not sleeping, something in my head just snapped in a way and triggered me. Is the best way to describe.
A flirty joke exchange mmmm I started to take personally, and stuff fell out it was blurted and things I never meant to just kept coming. I'm really annoyed. I let the snarky biatch out just a tad and she run a marathon.
It led to a sort of boundary /relationship discussion with farm tenant. I hope the air is clearer and we are now totally on the same page.
On my side I feel better knowing, while jokes are made he doesn't intended to cheat on his wife. He hates cheaters, and revealed that h cousin is indeed dateing ow again after only being caught out for the third time about 18months ago, by his wife.
So what did gg learn, well I need to work on trust issues and fear issues. Mainly the fear of never being able to trust men any men in any sitch not do the right thing.
And while I'm detached from the man my h was, in that area I feel nothing really and he doesn't affect me in person. The past is and what was done to me. Goal to detach more.
I need to work on those negative nasty tapes h installed in my head that often pop up. The farm tenant has been Mirroring compliments about looks and dresses, I think he had already known some of what was revealed and was trying to build my confidence.
The happy goals are the road to this, putting my self out there and doing it. Phoning the rhc is great because even tho I nearly wet my pants I did it.
Dinner is another, just confronting those people who h thinks will support him with his laywer.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I'm sorry you are having a difficult day. I can relate to the text exchange gone wrong- I got sideways myself a few days ago. Totally embarrassed the way I came across.
You can love and trust again. Time. Patience and try to keep you heart open (difficult I know said woman with a 16 foot wall built around her:)
Sending you a hug!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is a kick ass shoe day.
Leave the fear of tomorrow in yesterday. And start afresh.
I know what you mean by tapes and feeling that you may never be able to trust.
I have learned by reading threads on this site is that this human condition affects us men and women equally and there are some really wonderful caring individuals who are travelling this journey. It is truly heart warming and part of my own higher power. Part of my link to the energy of life. A life force that gg has inside despite the trauma. gg is strong, but she is allowed a difficult day. ((((Hugs)))) Vanilla
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
