*hug* I'm sorry to hear this horrible news. Stay strong. We're with you.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Thank you everybody, FD, TM, Little, Hope, CG, for the warm wishes. I'm Okay. I was an absolute hot mess yesterday. I'm a little better today.
My Grandmother fell, *again*, yesterday. Right during the only hour I wasn't at the house. Thank God my wife happened to stop by to drop something off just as EMS was pulling up and she was able to let them in. We got her one of those medic alert deals with fall detection on Thanksgiving and they dispatched EMS.
She has finally agreed to go to rehab to get her strength back up.
To say that I'm overwhelmed would be an understatement.
DB went right out the window yesterday. Everybody in my family is in a high emotional state right now.
My wife is taking this very hard. Pamela was like a second mom to her. She lived with her all during high school. She was like the daughter that Pamela never had. She just adored our kids and me too.
MIL was snarky yesterday (This was MIL's sister) about the whole thing because they have had an issue with each other since back in the day.
I set up the memorial arrangements with my church. They kindly reached out as soon as they heard and offered to help.
I don't really have much else to say other than I'm so freaking exhausted.
BTW, Hope. I know you're not..
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Grandmother starts in-patient rehab on Monday, and I'll be taking care of her pets. So that will be wonderful for her.
On another note,
Wife did not go home at all last night. OM3 85% confirmed this morning.
I have a lot of really tough decisions to make across the board.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Hey, Jefe, let go. Your W is going to do what she's going to do, nothing you do or say or think is going to change her direction. You're trying to hard to hold on to her, or who she was. Lovingly set some boundaries for yourself, start with a visitation agreement that works for everyone and turn away. Tend to those things you can impact.
Concentrate on the immediate needs of your family right now. Do tasks that accomplish something. Take care of yourself.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Jefe, I know you are in a dark place right now. I'm so sorry your W has OM3 now. It seems your focus is primarily on your W right now, not on yourself.
For right now your W is lost. If you continue to focus on her and her ups and downs you are giving control of yourself over to her and whatever passions she is chasing now.
If you change your focus to be on yourself and your own life, you can regain control of your identity and your emotions. This will also move you towards being someone she can look up to for strength and stability out of the low place she is in. You know she won't find happiness in what she is chasing after. You can change and if you do she will notice.
What are your GAL activities right now?
UpperCut Me: 28 W: 25 Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home) S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15) No kids
I agree with UpperCu 100%. I hate to say this, but my wife could have an OM in the picture now and I would not be affected that much. That's how much detaching has helped me. The down side is that I care less about saving our marriage but I know it's a more healthy place to be. You could have your girls help with the pets. That would be a really healthy thing for them to do and good training.
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
Jefe, good advice from Uppercut. It has helped me just to accept that H is lost to me for now. He isn't interested in our M right now. There isn't much I can do about that for now. He has a journey to take - as does your W - and I'm not invited.
Your W may or may not turn back to your M. If she does turn back, let her find a guy who is happy with who he is, and who can function with or without her. He may want her back, but he doesn't need her back.
I'm so sorry things have taken this turn, and am thinking of you. Things will get better and happiness does lie ahead....()
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Are you still seeing the counselor? If so, have you discussed this with him?
Also, we discussed setting up a network so you could call people when life starts to become stressful and overwhelming. Life sounds pretty stressful and overwhelming. Have you been able to call people in your network to discuss things?
I'm sorry I haven't been communicating. I keep posting that I'm being monitored but these posts aren't showing up.
