Wife walked away (4 months ago now) thread 3

[BigMac]

Sandi2: Thanks, I feel the right thing as a co-parent is to do that. It still shows a bit of weakness in my heart though.

Mozza: I think Sandi2 nailed it earlier. It is WAAAY to convenient. She is having a big reality check, but no remorse. No anything. I am just her Plan B she is lining back up again. I am pretty positive that as long as I don't pursue that she will continue to try to come back.

The thing is, that I don't believe it is sincere. And I am worth something, I don't deserve to be used and to have to go through this heart break all over again years down the line.

[BigMac]

Update - more WAW weirdness (I figure this might be at least entertaining to see the antics that happen.

So, my WAW was in the mountains on a vacation with her BF (the OM). I have S9 call her (I have him call her every day when he is with me). She asks him to talk to me, and asks if I want anything from on her trip. (as in a gift)

My answer "uhhh no" have a good day.

So then tonight she texts me, with a picture of a worry stone (she called it a wish stone) and left me a voice message -

From the WAW
"I don't know if you want it or not... but I saw it. You remember the wish stone, you used to have one. Anyways. I thought you might want it, so I got you one. But again you don't have to have it."

She got me a wish stone on one of her vacations back in 2002 I believe. The idea was that you would rub it with your thumb and it would take your worries away.

The weirdness continues.

[BigMac]

Now the question, should I accept the gift?

[sandi2]

Tell her you have no worries to wish away, but thanks for remembering.

(I can't imagine why you wouldn't want a little token of their vacation together. )

[BigMac]

I responded before seeing your reply Sandi2.

Just a simple Thanks, I left it at that.

When she tries to give it to me, I think I am going to use that line though.

And yes, I don't know what is going through her mind right now. Looking at her past, and talking to friends, she is deathly afraid to be alone. And it looks like she's always lined up her next man before leaving the last. It's my guess that this is the same behavior.

On the grand list of things that I want in my house, a worry stone from my WAW on vacation with her BF (OM) is not something I would prefer to keep.

[sandi2]

Looking at her past, and talking to friends, she is deathly afraid to be alone. And it looks like she's always lined up her next man before leaving the last. It's my guess that this is the same behavior.

Part (or maybe most) of that could be a security issue with her. With you, it was financial security she wanted. Maybe it is with the other men, too, or maybe it is to feel secure about her looks, sex appeal, etc.

[BigMac]

When she left, she had the financial security check box checked in her mind with credit cards, and a myth in her head (this cost of living calculator that she found) about how much further her money would go out in Tx, as well as the idea that she would have me over the coals with Alimony in our source state.

When she left, she was pressuring me into allowing an Open Relationship (To quote her, she wanted "Road Clam" and to see whether that hot guy in the bar would "do her"

She absolutely wants to be wanted. When she is feeling low she will normally post a selfie of her face to get positive comments on social media. Same thing with going out and wearing a low cut shirt.

I'm not a Psychologist, but she always has to have a source of narcisitic supply. I think that is the role the OM played. Have someone to pursue her, and validate her. He makes practically no money, she was giving him gifts, playing the sugar mama role.

Now that the divorce is being handled in TX, alimony is off the table (the courts believe that when a couple divorces here they should be independent people). As well as her credit cards are maxed out, her "needs" have changed.

Also, how I act towards her has changed. I had to be very timid until the case got moved out here, since it got moved out here I have been able to stand firm on my boundaries, and follow Sandi2's rules to a T.

So, the Alpha confident man that she knew long ago has made an appearance in full. I am living my life quite well. I would figure she see's me as a viable alternative now (though I agree w/ Sandi2 that she has not seen the error of her ways).

I'm not dumb enough to fall back into that trap.

[Georgia Bulldogs]

Now the question, should I accept the gift?

Yes....but immediately take a long look at it and say:

"you got me the wrong stone....this one is a skipping stone"

and proceed to chuck it into the nearest forest, pond, woods, whatever and tell her"

"Thanks....real nice skip to that one"

[sandi2]

Yes....but immediately take a long look at it and say:

"you got me the wrong stone....this one is a skipping stone"

and proceed to chuck it into the nearest forest, pond, woods, whatever and tell her"

"Thanks....real nice skip to that one"

Love it!

[BigMac]

LOL, that is classic. A bit meaner then I would like to be

(I try to act in a fashion that if I looked back on my actions 20 years from now I would be proud of how I handled things)

I have to see her for a short time tonight to deal with some kid stuff. If she tries to give the stone, I think I'm going to use Sandi2's reply. It closer matches my feelings (I'm not really angry at the WAW, I just know that it is done, and there is no point to it).

I really don't have many worries in my life anymore (my biggest worry was her leaving, and if she was back I would worry about that). So no need for a worry stone (or wishes).