Things have not gotten any better or worse in the past 4 days. Today my wife cracked her phone and immediately was asking me via text to fix it, and offered to pay me to do it even. I've not responded to that yet as I feel its cake eating. Any thoughts on this?
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
"I've not responded to that yet as I feel its cake eating."
Why do you feel it's cake-eating? She asked you for a favor and it's up to you whether or not you want to do it. That's not cake-eating and I don't think you understand what that means.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I've removed my ring. To me it was a symbol of the pain we are leaving behind and I'm ready to let that go. I feel like I'm burying a loved one. It's triggered some sadness and I'm a bit of a mess, but I feel it's time to do this. I'll put it up later somewhere safe with hers. Letting go of the rope, letting my heart free, and accepting she's moved on. I'm not giving up, just moving to a safer place emotionally so I can focus.
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
Tough night. I feel like I had a mini-funeral. I put both of our rings in a case and stowed them away in the closet. Going to watch a movie with my S14 now.
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Not having the ring on has been a good thing I believe. I'm not sure if my wife noticed or not, but the extra detachment has helped me act more myself and less insecure around her. I'm not having to think about the detachment rules as much and I can actually focus on her needs more. She was having another rough day today. Our D13 is about to have a birthday and money is tight, more on her end than mind. So I purchased the gift, and I offered to help with other party things so my W can feel less depressed about it. She wanted to play some blame game with me and I simply said "I understand" and did not fight her back whatsoever. She was crying and depressed and I told her "I'm sorry" (no hugs or physical contact). She said things like I'm the "fun" parent now and that I need to accept responsibility and she was upset that I'm out playing drums so much. Anyway, to help cheer her up I shared an amazing beverage with her twice today that I know she cherishes (pumpkin spice cappuccino). I had loaded up a big thermos of it for a cold football game today that I took my boys to. Gave her some in the morning and asked if she wanted some this evening, and she drank all I had left. I also told her she looks pretty, she just got a short hair cut. I think it's good that her and I were talking about her feelings, and talking about ways that I can help. We don't talk about the D process, but it's still moving along. I'd love to marry her again. So, a good day I think. :-)
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
