Edz - Tough Times ahead proceeding with caution

[jim0987]

Well that's better. You had me worried.

The Samaritans can probably still help you if your having a really low day.

And I know IC isn't cheap but if you can it might be really good for days you know are going to be a trigger. I'm struggling with free options - I think just make sure you have a plan for your BDay.

My wedding anniversary is coming up but I'm going to be so tired that day I think I'll be fine.

[edz]

W texted me to complain my Dad hadnt sent her a card and chasing me on moving dates.

Pointed out he, as all of us, are confused as to where she wants, needs, to be and he was trying not to offend.

I agreed its not nice but until she comes to a conclusion on what she wants we are all in a state of confusion as to how to proceed. I have no intention of not sending her a card but I dont believe I'll get a card from her mum either.

She replied my relationship with her mother is hardly the same.

Needed to stop the back and forth and this was starting to hurt me so responded that wasnt my intention, tried to point out this is a consequence of her not being able to tell us all what she wants and being vague on the reason she needs to be at the flat alone - its changed many times - I also commented that it was probably the nature of text and this is why I want to talk rather than text or email but she sounds distant and angry today.

One final reply saying she's not angry "with anyone..." just said that was good and I hoped she can come over sunday to run through furniture thats staying / going - phone / adsl contract decisions (is she going to sign up to one of these for a year and pay a fee if she ends early or keep the current ones and take over payments) reiterated its too much information for text and hope to see her sunday and that we can always retire to the pub to discuss things (keeping it neutral) reminded her both her and S are missed and left it at that.

[edz]

Well had a quick chat with W this evening, she's off out with her friend from work this evening, she's coming round on sunday to discuss furniture after I again sent a list today. I'd had a text from BT saying someone was trying to take the line over, normally thats ok but I've had adsl lost on lines before due to bt changeovers, having spoken to W she's also planning on using Sky so bt is pointless as it will be LLU unbundled.

I appreciate she's trying to get organised but I did ask her to talk to me on Sunday sigh...

Anyway will call BT tomorrow and cancel the request. I was in quite a good mood as I sorted a lot out today for work and in planning for the house but now I cant stop myself from thinking that means she's in it for the long haul as she's signing up for year long contracts. Makes me wonder how honest she's being with saying she's not decided what she wants and how much its about just getting me to move away quietly. Ultimately Im moving anyway for my own sake and to set myself up for son but if thats the case I'll be extremely upset with her not just telling me that.

I suppose we shall just have to see and see what she says on sunday!

[edz]

While I remember what are you guys and gals thoughts on taking off a ring? W hasnt been wearing hers but that wasnt unusual as she'd take it off and forget even when it was really good times, she was only really mad about them when we first got engaged and married a very long time ago.

In my case I have literally had mine on for about 8 years so much so my hand has changed shape (and got a little fatter it must be said) so I'll need to use the elastic cord trick to get it off anyway or do I just wait.

Feeling very confused right now and W confuses me by behaving as she is now but when I discuss taking my ring off (came about when I commented on hers a couple of weeks back) she says no theres no need to now and then she also reacts as she did when my dad didnt send her a birthday card.

Arghh!!!!!!!!

[edz]

Spoke to BT today, line wont be impacted until after I leave so thats ok. Nothing from W today so imagine it will be tomorrow when I speak to her picking up S.

Trying to detatch myself to the point when, as I think is likely, after she moves in she lets me know she was just trying to stop everyone being hurt and she doesnt want to come back. Before anyone shouts mind reading, she has form on trying to stop other people being hurt by simply not telling them the truth as per her original plan to wait till I was at the other end of the country and move out without telling me.

Have a horrible feeling all this has been to re-engineer the mistake she made when she moved to her mums which she said was a huge mistake and finangle me out so she can be back.

Still dont understand how she will work the finances (as I'll no doubt be told - I cant worry about those). If she changes her mind in under a year - to move to me or elsewhere - she's going to get about £500 in contract ending bills at this rate so cant help but feel deflated as chances of anything positive happening between us seem even less likely by the day.

Also despair at the sheer amount of work I still have to do to move but cant be there organising that and be working which W doesnt grasp as she hasnt been "at work" except to go in and see if they can change her hours, since about may.

Been invited to a fireworks night by an old mate who I worked with back in 2007-2008 may trundle along with her tomorrow night (nothing between us now or likely - just friends)

[edz]

Well, sitting in the middle of the disaster zone that is the part packed flat contents. Sure in 3-4 weeks it'll all be done but right now theres a very very very long list of things I need to do. My weather station says -2 out there and in this poorly maintained place my very cold nose concurs!

Of course I am too mean and money concious to turn on the heating!!!

Lonely - empty feeling in my stomach somewhere - but coping, thanks South I have a cat here whos not madly keen but putting up with being stroked - for now....

[jim0987]

Hi Edz, hope you're doing OK in your disaster zone.

-2, my car says 6 so there must be some regional variation.

You too money concious for a blanket? Your cat will thank you

I imagine it must be hard being surrounded by stuff like that but remember that moving has its upsides. Try and focus on those.

[edz]

Hi Jim

Not too bad, feel like a melange of emotions this evening, mostly I want to get into a stable state. Nice throw over me at the moment btw but I have the only cat who hates being on blankets, she paddles the duvet time to time but isnt a fan. Mostly likes to just "be near" when it gets cold!

[edz]

Temps up to 6 here now, think it may have been the freezing rain/sleety stuff and the wind chilling it down out there.

If its like this tomorrow Im staying in with a movie and packing not standing in a field, free sausage in a bun (not a hot dog - these are the proper ones) or not!

[jim0987]

There are times British weather is just unpleasant. Autumn I think we call it.....