Hi South. Sorry you going through this tough patch. I can only offer my humble opinion but you need to have a man to man with S. He's the adult , sitch is tough on everyone but you all need to pull together. Reading your posts it seems , like us all, you are up and down. For the kids you have to be up , your their rock , their lighthouse , your the parent who's there !!!! You have to man up. ( easy for me to say ). You have no choice. It's sh1t but it is what it is. Your children need you. Set down ground rules for them both and stick to them. Again. I am very far from an expert so please take what you want from this post. I feel your pain but WE have no choice Keep strong buddy. Take care
Thanks everyone . He has just started seeing a counsellor .
He went out but I made home come home so we could talk.
He had a bad day at college , he said 4 hours of writing . I did explain to him that the course he was doing was a lot of academic stuff and he said but it's hard with all the [censored] that's been going on . I asked him what he meant , wasn't sure what he was referring to and he said mum leaving . I nearly broke down infront of him but held it together and replied that we need to all stick together and that his attitude toards his sister makes it hard for me when I've got to be a referee all the time .
So hope we can all hold it together for another few weeks and hope no more flash ups .
Really feel like sending W a text thanking her for messing up not mine but also her own kids life .
It's a real shame that W has no idea of the impact of her actions . I would have her back home right know if it meant my son would settle down and do better at college .
Times like this when I want to use OM as a punch bag .
I haven't taken my kids out to watch the local fireworks for fear she maybe there with him .
Wish I could erase her from all our minds .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
Hi South. Sorry you going through this tough patch. I can only offer my humble opinion but you need to have a man to man with S. He's the adult , sitch is tough on everyone but you all need to pull together. Reading your posts it seems , like us all, you are up and down. For the kids you have to be up , your their rock , their lighthouse , your the parent who's there !!!! You have to man up. ( easy for me to say ). You have no choice. It's sh1t but it is what it is. Your children need you. Set down ground rules for them both and stick to them. Again. I am very far from an expert so please take what you want from this post. I feel your pain but WE have no choice Keep strong buddy. Take care
I just don't have the heart to set ground rules for fear of upsetting the kids . I'm trying to keep everything like it was before . Yes I realise that's impossible but I'm trying my hardest for them both .
It does seem the threat of taking there gadgets away does the trick for atleast a week. But how do I stop daughter from humming and son not having some fit over it .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
South. That's great ( not the punch bag stuff !!! ). You did really well. Forget W in this. You dealt with it fantastic , especially holding it together in front of him. Be the ROCK that he can always lean on. Your first post in this was hard to read , this one was great to read and shows you are able to deal with this crap. It's not easy but well done mate. Take care
Setting ground rules really helps them understand that you're there for them. This is your opportunity to run your family the way you believe it should be run. Taking charge that way will bring you closer if you do it in a a loving and supportive way.
It's tough on the kids, I know. I'm with you.
And for Petes sakes, take them to the fireworks! She's the one who should be hiding, not you & the kids.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Hi south. Just saw your reply. It is tough to set rules and I stress I don't have the answers but I explanation to my crew that I am their dad first and friend second I love to be thier friend but we have to keep things straight around the house and that includes our relationships with each other, so if that means I have to lay down the law so be it I get a lot of sulks but normally get the result in the end
Fastest ever got in car and drove to local viewpoint to watch fireworks . Thanks Maybell for the kick up the arse. Next year back to blowing the garden up .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
Setting ground rules really helps them understand that you're there for them. This is your opportunity to run your family the way you believe it should be run. Taking charge that way will bring you closer if you do it in a a loving and supportive way.
^^^This^^^.
There is nothing wrong with household rules. Don't be one of those dads whose kids run wild because you are too guilty/lazy/sad/insert_favorite_word to upset them. That does them no favors in the long run.
