Old dog seeks new trick 5

[Ggrass]

Suinta at old dog, I think I can see toe polish from here.

Can't you maybe? Lol

I've told the child (who is sulking in his room) I'm going off for a drive with my mate. Off to a place he wants to go, but I think given he's been out with his mates already all weekend last weekend and Friday night spending all day in bed he needs to catch up with stuff for his work experience job this week.

We are going out to tea later i suspect so he can come then, there is nothing in db that says I need to be joined at his hip. Which is nice for me.

[Old Dog]

I went dark first of all but I abandoned that idea as it didn't seem to be working and when I rang my DB coach, he said that a lot of people recommend going dark on here but it's not necessarily the right option. He said imagine she is your sister and act accordingly. I am seeing a couple of friendly signs. I was just peeved that she's holding back. It's something I can't change and Ill have to deal with. Count to ten, shrug my shoulders as MrBond says and get over it.

As WAW is out enjoying herself, I took the kids out for dinner at the pub this evening and then we came back and watched Dr Who. And after that, I finally watched the Bourne Ultimatum which I borrowed from my brother years ago.

Do I have to have a pedicure? Don't I get any credit for doing Movember?

[Old Dog]

And if I do pull back a bit, she won't be bothered: on the outside anyway. But she won't relent. She won't be drawn nearer, she's shown me that. She's stubborn, or is it resilient.

[Maybell]

I wasn't thinking of drawing back as a tactic for getting her attention. I thought it would be a good way for you to feel less reactive to her behavior.

When I first read your sitch my thought was that she was lonely with you away so much... Hence the "relationship has run its course" thing. That was how I felt when my H was always gone, that it didn't matter to him whether he was with me or away, especially as life at home was demanding with three tiny children and his travel was so glamorous. But you seem to be changing your effort and I haven't read about any responses she may be making so maybe I misunderstood what was going on?

Sure, I'll give you credit for the mustache. But don't expect too much, it's a lot less of a stretch for a guy to prove his testosterone with facial hair (my H is bearded!) than it is for him to prove it with a pedicure after all those strenuous protests.

[Old Dog]

I wasn't thinking of drawing back as a tactic for getting her attention. I thought it would be a good way for you to feel less reactive to her behavior.

Ah, I see. Well I am getting better at it. Finally. I'm no longer have heart ache every day, although it did come back yesterday. It's something I can use as a measurement of detachment as well though. I try not to show any disappointment and keep my PMA going despite what my mind it thinking.

When I first read your sitch my thought was that she was lonely with you away so much... Hence the "relationship has run its course" thing. That was how I felt when my H was always gone, that it didn't matter to him whether he was with me or away, especially as life at home was demanding with three tiny children and his travel was so glamorous. But you seem to be changing your effort and I haven't read about any responses she may be making so maybe I misunderstood what was going on?

I think she was lonely, she must have been, but has got used to it and said the fact that we didn't communicate during the week is part of the proof she tells herself: so it wouldn't too big a deal for her if we did separate. It would be hard but she'd deal with it. She's working on herself as well. Going out, getting a advice from a life coach, reading books.

You may remember, I came across something she'd written in a notebook she'd left out dated the end of June

I worked tirelessly for 2 1/2 years to stabilse us, he worked to destabilise us. That part of him did.

This afternoon I realy got intouch with loneliness. You can fill your life with Hollywood films, with meals out - but at the end of the day you're left with loneliness. La soledad del alma (the solitude of the soul - translated by me/internet).

Almas gemelas (twin souls - translated by me/internet again) torn asunder? I don't know about that anymore. But it does feel like it this evening.

Despite this, she has not shown any sign of relenting her stance. But I am trying to diffuse any toxic atmosphere by being more like old self.

Sure, I'll give you credit for the mustache. But don't expect too much, it's a lot less of a stretch for a guy to prove his testosterone with facial hair (my H is bearded!) than it is for him to prove it with a pedicure after all those strenuous protests.

Pedicure shemedicure.

[Old Dog]

I had to go back home after work last night as we had to take S14 to the hospital to see the surgeon. I got back to the train station quite late and my wife picked me up. We actually had quite a nice chat on the journey home and we laughed together when she recounted something that S14 had said to her earlier. There were no elephants in the car. Which is good because it's only a small car and it would have ruined the suspension.

Anyway, we went to the hospital, saw the surgeon and I remembered a nice place nearby where we had lunch before I had to get the train back to work. So a pretty positive 18 hours in all.

And ... get this you pedicure fiends. I have in my possession the phone number of someone who does them, and by all accounts is rather good. I'll be giving them a call tomorrow.

[Maybell]

I'll believe it when it has happened.

[Old Dog]

It's happening next Thursday.

[Ggrass]

Don't expect me to join you! Lol

I draw the line at hair make up and shoes! That girlie enough combined with regular shaving of legs and under arms.

[Old Dog]

Back at home again for the weekend. WAW suggested we all go to have pizza when they pick me up from the station; so we did, and we had a nice time.

My super PMA seems to be working, in as far as its making it easier to get along. The elephant in the room is sulking now as his influence is waning.

I got to the restaurant first and gave the boys a hug WAW a peck on the cheek when they arrived.

I was reading about His Needs, Her Needs on the train on the way up and just came across a section where he says that when couples stop talking intimately to each other, then the W may replace the H with someone who does.

It happens often enough and we're guilty. I find it difficult to think of topics to kick off an ordinary conversation, let alone an intimate one.

But I'm happy she suggested we go out and I'm happy we all had a good time with nice food.

Keep on keeping on everyone. xx